Things My Kids Do

[popeye]

First of all I figured I would start this thread instead of taking over the joke board.

I have a new thing to brag about. My 2 year old is officially the toughest kid in the house. She weighs all of 28 lbs. She is what I call a munchkin. Well we were all playing around on the couch this evening. Wrestling and things like that. The two year old gets up onto the back of the couch and begins jumping down on myself and the other children. She giggles hysterically each time. Well I had just tossed the 9 year old to the ground and was rolling over to prepare for the 2 year old to pounce on me. The second I rolled over the kid does a flying leap with one fist and she lands with all of her force onto my right eye.

I am now sitting here with a bag of frozen peas over my eye while it is closing up. She is the only person ever to give me a black eye. So congrats to the pint sized Hulk Hogan.

Just to add to this a little bit my son and I went to Toy R US last weekend. Of course true to the song I refuse to grow up. They had these foam swords for sale there and my son and I of course decided to have a sword fight in the store. Eventually we were told by staff to knock it off or buy them and take it outside.

 

[cragger65]

Thanks for the big ol' grin, my man :) And you're right, no one should ever grow up *completely*. That's no fun at all.

Cheers,
Dave

 

[a3a2]

LOL, Popeye!!!!!

My five year old told me today that she would "just die, die, die" if I didn't fill up the kiddee pool! It is a wopping 60 fernheit on a really good day.

 

[amethist]

Brilliant Popeye, I may add some stories of my grandchildren here, if thats OK with you.

Amethist

 

[Sasha]

I'm sorry about your eye Popeye, but that was a really sweet and cute story. Time with our children can bring us such true and fulfilling joy and love.
But, next time you visit Toys R Us, you may want to pick up a helmet and a facemask though, lol.

 

[popeye]

Amethist go for it. Anyone else that have things to share about their kids go ahead.

 

[Jimmy]

In Australia we have the adopt-a-cop in our Pre-Schools. Well one of my son's stood up and said to the Policeman, 'My Mum has handcuffs and she is not a Policewoman'.

 

[anni]

BJ was getting potty trained. My husband at the time was a musician. He signed with a well-known British manager who was coming to the house for the first time one day. It was like Royalty was coming- the FUSS there was over this guy arriving was incredible. Everything cleaned and sparkling, best clothes, baby all dressed and scrubbed, luncheon and drinks laid out.The guy and entourage sweeps in, fur coat, sun-glasses and all, everyone standing in the hall with introductions. 'This is my little boy, BJ', who looked at the guy, held out his little fist and said 'DA!' I said 'Oh! How cute! He wants to give you something!' Everyone leaned over, and this manager guy in his fur coat held his hand out. My little boy then put into his hand the one thng which he was most proud of at the time. It seems while all the arrivals had been happening the little guy had been doing what we'd been training him to do. Into the outstretched hand he happily dropped a, er, nugget.... .

That story still comes up at every family gathering, and BJ was 30 this year.

 

[popeye]

I was learning in school about silent letters such as the silent W. Well I found this book about the O.K. corral and was reading it in my room. My parents left me alone in my room for about an hour and I came out and had to ask my Dad something. I came up to him and asked him "Dad, did you know what Yatt Earp was at the shoot out at the O.K. Corral?"(I pronounced it kinda like yak but with a T.) And I think this is where my sense of humor comes from he responded "I don't know who Yatt is but I have heard of Wyatt."

My brother Mike in Highschool played football. I am still convinced that he suffered brain damage while he was playing because one day he got hurt. He got his neck injured somehow I for get how now. While he was waiting for the doctor to examine him he said to my parents. "I think I strained my muck nescles." (instead of Neck Muscles.) Same thing too about a week later while he was still on pain killers we were at the grocery store and he came back to my mom and handed her some lettuce. Of course he said to her, "I got your lead of headuce you wanted mom."

I can't remember when it happened anymore but another word of wisdom from my brother Mike was that he needed a pan of caint. (can of paint)

I will try to think of some others like that as well. Although that time frame is a little fuzzy.

 

[amethist]

My darling husband came out with a beauty tonight. We were talking about a piece I had just read in a magazine about how fast different animals and birds were compare to how fast a human could run. It is actually a piece about Natures Fastest Killers, when it is a matter of speed for survival.

I just said to him "Wow I did not know a Peregrine Falcon can fly or dive at 200 MPH". His reply to that was, "It would have to fly a lot F##@@*g faster than that to keep up with the Space Shuttle though".

Where did he get that from, but thats the Kid in my husband.

Amethist

 

[ISupportHer]

My Granddaughter was 5. I was watching the kids and can't remember what we were doing but I was not paying full attention to her. She came up, attitude like stance, hand on one hip and as she said "GRANDPA!!!" she used the index and middle fingers like a "V" pointing to my eyes, then to hers and back and forth, LOL, meaning "focus grandpa, focus!"

ISH

 

[Clydiechick]

My boys tend to spend a lot of time with the principal at school :)

My 7 year old tried telling me it was because he was 'really good'. I later learned it was because that's the only place he would stop talking.

My 5 year old just started schoo this year. He had a fight on his first day, he told me he kicked another boy in the shin. I had a horrified look on my, he said, "It's okay mum, he got up!"

In his second week he too went to see the principal for calling his brother a "f...ing dickhead." When I said to him, "You don't say that." He said, "Well he shouldn't have f...ing pushed me."

I can't even go into the school anymore without hanging my head and wondering what has happened lately :) So embarrassing.