Thoughts About Being Bisexual.

[ashdawn8287]

I think it is cool that your comfortable with it. I think it is cool you talk about it. I think it is cool because the studies have been showing that bisexuality is the medium. I think its cool.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Okay that is what I was thinking you meant but was unsure. I was worried you meant cool as in 'trendy'.

Thanks for your input @ashdawn8287. :) It does give me some things to think about.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I had a dream about a woman on Sunday night. The dream seems to have touched me deeply. I tried explaining it in my diary and in an email to my therapist but I can't seem to do it justice. I have never actually told my therapist these dreams in detail before. In the past it didn't seem important.

I have had sexual dreams about woman before but this one wasn't even that graphic. There was, the hint of sex but there seemed to be a very deep bond between us. Even now, days later I can still feel that bond. It's left me feeling longing.

It's just a dream and at some point it will fade from my mind. I just really feel the urge to share.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I realized today that I don't trust myself.

I keep saying I won't cheat, that I never would but I simply can't know if that would always be true. I would love to think I would never do that to my husband and it isn't my intention.

My longings and dreams are getting worse. I am still thinking of that dream and that woman in them. It's ridiculous! To have a crush on a woman in my dreams.

I have never been in a place where I could turn these thoughts into actions. If my marriage really will always be faithful, can I accept to have have never known what I keep dreaming about? And if it does come up, I can't begin to imagine what that would feel like. I would love to think I wouldn't cheat but the thought of being there, with a woman and being able to touch her...that denial of what I want so bad hurts now just thinking of it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Should I share my frustrations with my husband? The deep dream I had? I'll keep it to myself I think.

 

[digger]

Just a thought (and its late here and I should be asleep so might not be my best thought ever;)) I wonder if the dreams aren't quite as literal as you're taking them. I know they are making you think more about your sexuality, but you also posted a thread about being afraid to be a woman recently and perhaps the dreams are something to do with that too. How you view yourself as a woman.....embracing femininity...maybe

 

[billie]

I identify as a gay woman, so I kinda guess I can see what your man maybe thinking. I have had relationships with many bisexual women before and through these experiances I have slowly gained a bit more confidence with being with them. It wasnt until about 25 when I relised that sexuality should be fluid and independant. I now hold no barriers if I was to date a bisexual. So I guess it takes time for someone to learn more about themselves (meaning your man), but he has to know how you are affected by his silence to make a step forward. To add, your thoughts are solely yours it is not needed to share. Hope thats helps.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

perhaps the dreams are something to do with that too. How you view yourself as a woman.....embracing femininity...maybe

Interesting thought digger. I'll have to think about that. Although the dream was very sexual. Very private.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

through these experiances I have slowly gained a bit more confidence with being with them.

Can you explain more about what you mean here?

 

[billie]

It was my own insecurities when I was younger thinking I was inadequate and that my partners may leave. I hate inequality, so I really challenged my thinking about this. I realised then that relationships need boundries and respect when it comes to individual needs. I made sure after that I made room in my mind for my partners thoughts and feelings if she wished to express them. I also respected that thoughts are thoughts does not mean we act on them. An example I want to hurt my offenders but in reality I would not do that. Is there a way to give an example to your hubby that may give him an idea about the difference between what is fact and what is your own personal thoughts? Also, there are GLBT sites that also tackle these issues may give you some ideas in reassuing him that he is loved and cherished. Hope that helps; (Im not very good at explaining myself)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

My therapist and I talked about this yesterday. I forgot a lot of what he said but I texted him something an hour ago and he touched on it again.

My text: "Something has been bothering me about what you said on Wednesday. We were talking about sexuality and you said something about 'lesbian until graduation'. Are you implying that it's a phase?"

Him: "No but that exploration of different types is sexuality in not that rare in teens and twenties and more so for women than men due to taboos. The points are continue to be honest with your thoughts and feelings about this subject. Check your motives as you interact with others to see if attraction is part of the picture. You are not responsible for feeling attracted only for whether you cross boundaries or are dishonest . Got to run."

I admit to feeling guilty for my feelings even though no one is really involved in them (As in, I am not having a secret affair nor do I have some kind of crush etc.)

He said something just like this last week in an email: "All of us are only responsible for our actions not our thoughts."

It's a lot to think about. This keeps coming up for me.

 

[billie]

I'm sorry your being troubled by this. It must be hard for you but I am not sure with all due respect to your male T he understands the 'onion effect' us females have. I mean no disregard to the males but being female has many influences and emotions. I don't think you should box yourself into a category because it may confuse the situation more. Ihope my imput helps I wish you well hun.