NotTooLate
Confident
As someone who is very hands-on and action-oriented, I'm really struggling with the typical therapy of sitting and talking through things. I'm so sick of reading about meditation, mindfulness, breath work, bio feedback, etc. Those things are all great when I'm in a less agitated mood, but lately I am bursting at the seams with anxiety, anger and hatred of myself. I exercise most days and it releases some of the pressure, but not enough. I'm not physically fit enough to outrun my issues. As my counselor said yesterday, I am like a pressure cooker about to blow. She could feel the energy just flying off of me and decided that she'll bring in a punching bag for me next week and we'll do a guided therapy session to allow me to try to blow some steam. I'm happy she's thinking outside the box for me. I've been spinning out of control on what feels like a horrific amusement park ride that I just can't seem to get off of. I need something to jolt me enough to push me off of this crazy ride so I can focus enough to start actually healing. One thought I keep coming back to that I know is not even remotely healthy is that I wish someone would just beat the shit out of me. I feel like I deserve it. I feel like someone just needs to physically snap me out of this cycle! I don't know if punching the bag will help or not because I feel like my anger and hatred is all against me. I guess I'll just picture my face on the bag.
Can anyone relate to this? What do you do to take physical ACTION in recovery?
Can anyone relate to this? What do you do to take physical ACTION in recovery?