Tips for Building In-Person Community?

[sidptitala]

-- I speak at a high B2 level, but still only speak English fluently, which apparently disqualifies me from most volunteer jobs here which is super frustrating.

That is frustrating!

One option could be to try to go to (or even start) any language exchange events. It could both help you meet people and help you get to a level of the language where you have more options.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

Okay, I think I've figured out my next move. Found a few meet-up groups for writers. part of my work is writing, so it would be possible to use a writing group as a work session/maybe meet some friends session. And then I wouldn't feel so stressed (maybe) about spending so much time and effort on something that didn't pan out. I think this is why the gym classes are working for me, because they kill two birds with one stone (metaphorically), as I should be exercising anyway.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

I found and signed up for two writing groups, one next week and one the week after. Fingers crossed it goes well!

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

Okay, I'm coming back to this thread because yesterday was really hard and made me feel like I was taking about five hundred steps backwards in my journey. But my life is not all a disaster and I need to remind myself of that. I went to two different writing groups I found and they were both really successful experiences. They meet once a week and I'm going to keep going. It'll take time to feel integrated into those communities but I feel good to have started the process and to have a few more points of contact with other folks throughout the week. I have to remember that progress is slow but it is still happening.

 

[Friday]

The people we encounter have profound influence on our lives.

Sometimes? We meet amazing people. Sometimes? Terrible. Mostly? Meh, middling, of no moment nor longevity. Our NEED for people, in a specific moment? Is soooooo damn durn down to luck. The amazing. The terrible. The forgettable.

Having had so much of the extremes? The amazing/terrible? I have to remind myself, often, that most people are neither.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

Commenting on this to bump it back up the queue as I'm still looking for advice .... Feeling really lonely these days and trying to increase my human contact. I've added in-person group gym classes and a yoga class, too. But I work very solitary and I don't interact with people outside these groups. I've tried to convert some people into my friends, but it hasn't happened yet (I think friendships move much slower in this culture than what I am accustomed to). So in the meantime, I think I need more stuff to go to where I interact with people.

Any ideas? I'm struggling to find stuff because I'm on a very limited budget so I can't spend much (or any) money. I also notice that many of the groups I find are dating groups in disguise, or geared towards much younger folk (I'm middle-aged) or revolve around drinking, which I'd rather avoid.

 

[Midnightmoon]

So in the meantime, I think I need more stuff to go to where I interact with people.

Wondering if it's less about the 'stuff' and more about purpose and meaning of it? The sense of belonging? There is definitely something to be said about filling your time with things that you know are good for your overall wellbeing and you are putting 100% into that with the groups and classes... But maybe it feels like 'filling time' almost rather than connected?

Echoing Sidptitala and No more about the volunteering...don't suppose there's anything with equines to volunteer with!? (Or other animals, maybe language not so much of a barrier?)

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

Echoing Sidptitala and No more about the volunteering...don't suppose there's anything with equines to volunteer with!? (Or other animals, maybe language not so much of a barrier?)

I looked into volunteering and couldn't find anything. The animal shelter specifically states that you must be fluent in the local language. I get super frustrated because people in my home country are more accommodating of language learners ... not so much here.

Wondering if it's less about the 'stuff' and more about purpose and meaning of it?

I think it is both. Before I moved, I worked outside my home with coworkers. Plus I had friends. Now, I mostly work from home and rarely interact with coworkers. This means not only have I lost the connection of friends, but I'm also lost a lot of the little chit-chatty encounters, and I basically don't leave my apartment. So I'm trying to replace both those things .... deeper connection, plus little moments that make me feel like a part of society.

Deeper connection and purpose is what I want. But if I don't have that (I don't have that) superficial connection is better than zero connection.

 

[Friday]

I'm from the US, but .... not in the US. Part of what I struggle with is that I am not 100% fluent in the local language, plus the cultural codes are different, so this, combined with the isolation of my job, makes for a very lonely Rainbow.

Commenting on this to bump it back up the queue as I'm still looking for advice .... Feeling really lonely these days and trying to increase my human contact. I've added in-person group gym classes and a yoga class, too. But I work very solitary and I don't interact with people outside these groups. I've tried to convert some people into my friends, but it hasn't happened yet (I think friendships move much slower in this culture than what I am accustomed to). So in the meantime, I think I need more stuff to go to where I interact with people.

Any ideas? I'm struggling to find stuff because I'm on a very limited budget so I can't spend much (or any) money. I also notice that many of the groups I find are dating groups in disguise, or geared towards much younger folk (I'm middle-aged) or revolve around drinking, which I'd rather avoid.

So glad you bumped it!

Off the top of my head:

- One of the best ways I know of to reduce the language barrier is to tutor English. Depending on the country, a great many people often just need a conversation partner… as they’re nearly fluent, but not quite, and want to get truly fluent before gap years, studying abroad, applying for jobs in English speaking countries, etc. …or… are quite fluent but want to work on their accent, idioms, slang, contractions, etc. <<< These are typically meeting up in a cafe, once or twice a week for an hour. So it does double duty on “people time” & getting better in your own new language. As you improve your own fluency? You can start to tutor people who are less and less fluent.

- If you happen to live in a city with English speaking embassies or consulates? There is often a lot of expat support (weekly meet ups, community service, touristy trips, even just a “little America/UK/South Africa/Oz/Canada” collection of bars/cafes/etc. favoured by expats (not tourists, they tend to be the holes in the wall that only locals know about). If you live in a city with an American embassy or consulate ^^^that^^^ times a whole lot more… as there are civilian jobs, volunteering, & other resources.

- If you DONT live near an Embassy/Consulate? Backpackers hostels, tour/travel companies, & NGOs are both ways to find people who speak your language (as well as attempting to better learn the local lingo / far more forgiving about stumbling through 2-3 languages in the same sentence, plus charades); as well as often have part time gigs available, volunteer opportunities, social hours, etc.

 

[anthony]

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