Too Attached? To Therapist

[watundah]

I'm attached but I don't want her to know that but I know she knows. ;-)

Part of therapy can involve reparenting, or the T taking on a parental role. How can we not care and attach to someone who gives us their undivided attention and care, filling a void every week?

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug: @loui50 .

 

[Deleted member 35429]

For me it convinces me that I AM definitely damaged, dirty, disgusting that she doesn't want to hug m...

My therapist told me that he often hugs his clients but with me he doesn't feel the impulse to do so, and it's such a heart break. I keep thinking he assumes I'm not lovable or I'm just dirty and ruined. My logical side keeps telling me he meant that I don't put off a warm vibe or something, but truly and honestly he's probably subconsciously a little repulsed at my history.

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I was embarrassed how much I wanted a hug from my T who is a man. For 18 months he just kept firm as I am a female survivor of CSA and he thought it was wrong. I was so obsessed by my need for it. Many people on other forums told me I was wrong and to shut up and suck it up. I couldn't. I know see that I had a very damaged little child desperate to be comforted. In the end, (long story) he started to hug me and has been doing for four years or more. I love my hugs. He hugs me whenever I want one. He has got the hang of it. He notices how it soothes me when I feel little and distressed. I think I am just one of those people who will still need hugs into their nineties.

 

[loui50]

I need hugs all the time. I seek out physical touch from people i am close to. Like my husband, kids, and yes, my T. It is just who i am, a hugger. And i probably will always be.

 

[Snowflake]

My therapist told me that he often hugs his clients but with me he doesn't feel the impulse to do so, and...

Ugh-sorry but I would be crushed

 

[Hope1969]

My therapist told me that he often hugs his clients but with me he doesn't feel the impulse to do so

can you ask him what he ment when he said that?

 

[expectingbetter]

@Orion

My therapist told me that he often hugs his clients but with me he doesn't feel the impulse to do so, and it's such a heart break.

I am really so sorry you heard such thing from your therapist! It is really something any therapist shouldn't say to a client, no matter are they like to give hugs or not!

I agree with @Hope1969 I would certainly ask him for an explanation. You deserve the answer. Also I would say it was a hurting comment.

I personally also yearn for hugs in life, so I yearn for those from my therapist as well. I have got them twice and it really meant to me, I am just not sure that will happen very often, or rather I could say I doubt it will happen almost ever again.

 

[Iamsensative]

For me it's so amazing that I am attached to my T. Trust is something that I struggle with. Sometimes I get really concerned, I am too much, I am too close. I love him but not in an inappropriate way. I am trying to extend what he has given me to the outside. But I am always so scared, I have acquaintances but no real friends. But it's all a struggle to not be hurt. He loves me, my spouse loves me, my children love me, but I don't love myself. Self hate is so intense and I don't know how I change this. I learned do much, I changed so many self defeatingredients habits. I am scared to say this to him, I feel like I will just disappoint him...feedback would help. Thanks

 

[Deleted member 33880]

Iamsensitive: I find I am in the same boat. My t loves me, my friends love me, my husband and my kids love me but I don't feel loved. I think it is due to the early developemental trauma. Where I have got to with this is that I am mellowing into being tender to myself and accepting that this is a disability like any other and that I can beat myself up for it or be gentle and kind to myself for it. That way I hope my heart will soften in time and I will be able to feel loved.

 

[estelle beninson]

Its possible to get too attached to a therapist and really it can be dangerous. Maybe discuss your
attachment with your therapist, but be careful,

 

[Kolten]

I think we naturally become a bit dependent on a T because we share our most intimate secrets with them. I think if not careful it can be unhealthy and cause an issue. I also think if healthy boundaries are there and we realize for the therapy to work we have to work the therapy it can be a very theraputic and positive relationship.