Too much pain..

[Orange Phone]

I don't really like any of this. Stupid I know to write this.
I truly am just tired of this life. Mentally knowing I am not "broken" but that is how I feel. I feel alone. Who understands wanting to die. And ironically I did not know I had CPTSD until my son was nearly 5 and I was nearly 50. Then my world shrank as his life grew. Guess his life has triggered what happened to me. Though no recollections of the first 9 years.
I just don't want this anymore. If it were not for him, I would just end it all now. I want to end it now.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I know it feels impossible sometimes, I'm so sorry. You deserve to feel better, I hope you give yourself that chance. I'm really bad in these situations but wanted to give you whatever support I could. It's really good that you reached out.

Do you have anything to distract with?