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Deleted member 33880
I am an easy target for bullying. I am still far too naive, I still don't realise how nasty and vicious people can be, and I don't 'get' that people can be mean because it makes them feel better.
It makes me a great target for bullying.
Since I was diagnosed with PTSD I have spend time on two other big website forums and I was horribly bullied. It started a year or so in. I discovered on the first that the moderators were trainee therapists and they liked to come in and wield heavy handed comments. They also disagreed with some of my feelings and difficulties. I would explain, they would counter explain and I was aware that they were power tripping by coming down on me hard and I pointed out that trainee therapist have a habit of getting a bit power mad in the beginning. I got expleled from that forum by a particular mod who liked being the Big Guy and being praised all the time for being so wonderful. (She has now started her own web page where people can turn to her for her great advice).
The other forum was huge and I was in a small corner of it feeling a real rapport and closeness over a couple of years with a whole group of people on there. It was a friendly kind group. It was a real support and I was glad I was there. Then the mods posted that we were being horrible and excluding people. Apparently someone who hardly ever posted but read all the threads, felt 'excluded' by us. It was obvious if one read the forum that people were posting back on her threads but she still felt excluded which looking back was probably a theme in her life. Anyway, I objected and said it was not fair to upset a lot of people - some severely upset - when these people were kind and had been consistently kind. It was truly unfair to just announce to the entire forum that people were being unkind.
I should have left then as it was obvious that the mods weren't going to apologise for wading in with heavy boots on. I talked on a private message to those who were upset saying I didn't not think the mods were handling it well. the mods read my private messages and banned me from posting indefinitely with no way to appeal. I was not even allowed to tell my 'friends' why I had disappeared. It was horrible.
Then I tried to join again and the same person who had complained about people ignoring her posts - complained about me and asked the mods to check who I was. they found out I was the person who they had banned ( I was simply being my usual helpful forum member but of course my personal details must have rung a bell) and so I was banned again. It was so awful to keep being thrown out of a group of people who are very kind and we help each other but the mods wade in and are so heavy handed.
I was told by my t to give up as it was unjust and even prisoners have an opportunity to give their side of the story. I never was allowed that. I was told their decision was final. They I discovered through someone else who knew me on another forum, that the member who complained about both times is actually a great fan of the original woman who threw me out of the first forum for not being utterly in awe of her great skills.
I was eventually allowed to post only if mods reviewed my posts first, which could take days and come up in the thread several pages back. I asked how long this would go on for. they said they could review in four months. A year later I asked if I could stop having the mods read my posts first before they go live on the site. They just wrote back to say I had only posted 17 posts in the last two months and although they are fine, they do not consider me suitable yet and I need to post more regularly for another four months as they think I am coming along and improving.
My husband read this email and said' Who on earth do they think they are!'. They wield such power and I think they are enjoying this. they know there is no higher authority for me to go to and complain. they are the only point of complaint and they can do what they like.
I just had to rant. Knowing my luck the forum user who keeps making complaints - will see this post, work out who I am and start complaining about me to the mods here. I feel picked on and I feel deeply unjustly treated and I came on those forums to help me recover from trauma and they have just caused me more deeply upsetting trauma.
I am sorry this was so long but I still find it hard to accept that this happened to me. I am so the opposite of a trouble maker and I am so considerate and yet this has been going on towards me and there is nothing I can do.
It makes me a great target for bullying.
Since I was diagnosed with PTSD I have spend time on two other big website forums and I was horribly bullied. It started a year or so in. I discovered on the first that the moderators were trainee therapists and they liked to come in and wield heavy handed comments. They also disagreed with some of my feelings and difficulties. I would explain, they would counter explain and I was aware that they were power tripping by coming down on me hard and I pointed out that trainee therapist have a habit of getting a bit power mad in the beginning. I got expleled from that forum by a particular mod who liked being the Big Guy and being praised all the time for being so wonderful. (She has now started her own web page where people can turn to her for her great advice).
The other forum was huge and I was in a small corner of it feeling a real rapport and closeness over a couple of years with a whole group of people on there. It was a friendly kind group. It was a real support and I was glad I was there. Then the mods posted that we were being horrible and excluding people. Apparently someone who hardly ever posted but read all the threads, felt 'excluded' by us. It was obvious if one read the forum that people were posting back on her threads but she still felt excluded which looking back was probably a theme in her life. Anyway, I objected and said it was not fair to upset a lot of people - some severely upset - when these people were kind and had been consistently kind. It was truly unfair to just announce to the entire forum that people were being unkind.
I should have left then as it was obvious that the mods weren't going to apologise for wading in with heavy boots on. I talked on a private message to those who were upset saying I didn't not think the mods were handling it well. the mods read my private messages and banned me from posting indefinitely with no way to appeal. I was not even allowed to tell my 'friends' why I had disappeared. It was horrible.
Then I tried to join again and the same person who had complained about people ignoring her posts - complained about me and asked the mods to check who I was. they found out I was the person who they had banned ( I was simply being my usual helpful forum member but of course my personal details must have rung a bell) and so I was banned again. It was so awful to keep being thrown out of a group of people who are very kind and we help each other but the mods wade in and are so heavy handed.
I was told by my t to give up as it was unjust and even prisoners have an opportunity to give their side of the story. I never was allowed that. I was told their decision was final. They I discovered through someone else who knew me on another forum, that the member who complained about both times is actually a great fan of the original woman who threw me out of the first forum for not being utterly in awe of her great skills.
I was eventually allowed to post only if mods reviewed my posts first, which could take days and come up in the thread several pages back. I asked how long this would go on for. they said they could review in four months. A year later I asked if I could stop having the mods read my posts first before they go live on the site. They just wrote back to say I had only posted 17 posts in the last two months and although they are fine, they do not consider me suitable yet and I need to post more regularly for another four months as they think I am coming along and improving.
My husband read this email and said' Who on earth do they think they are!'. They wield such power and I think they are enjoying this. they know there is no higher authority for me to go to and complain. they are the only point of complaint and they can do what they like.
I just had to rant. Knowing my luck the forum user who keeps making complaints - will see this post, work out who I am and start complaining about me to the mods here. I feel picked on and I feel deeply unjustly treated and I came on those forums to help me recover from trauma and they have just caused me more deeply upsetting trauma.
I am sorry this was so long but I still find it hard to accept that this happened to me. I am so the opposite of a trouble maker and I am so considerate and yet this has been going on towards me and there is nothing I can do.
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