I got in trouble for something that I didn't even do and had a full f*cking PTSD meltdown/flashbacky episode for the first time in weeks. The school administrators had five different kids in there to all watch and basically piss on me for something I didn't even do. And I forgot to take my lunchbag home because I was so f*cking dissociated and I feel like shit so now they're going to be doing the same shit tomorrow. I'm going to break a bunch of shit if they do. One episode is too much I can't have them do this to me again. I mean that was something I actually did but still today was awful. The girl who reported me for the shit that I didn't even do is really f*cking fat like 5'7" and 280lbs so like what a size freaking TWENTY and has zero friends around there and she did it to someone else too within like an hour on the same day it's obvious she gets pleasure out of being hurtful to other people because she doesn't do jack shit. And she is the only student that has a say in making the rules so if you do something and she decides afterward that it broke her rules (before they were even freaking made) she'll report you for it. Ridiculous
The worst part of it all is that I get zero f*cking support from any adults around me. I am in hell and I don't know what to do. I wrote a huge letter about my PTSD that I'm going to show to the school administrators and see if they understand or not. I'm ready to start living in a homeless shelter at this point. My dad is upset with me all the time and doesn't want to deal with me anymore. He says he supports me no matter what but that doesn't match up with all of the other things that he did to enable my mom's abuse in the past and things that he's said about my PTSD episodes. I am just so upset. How am I expected to function like a normal human being when I am treated like shit???? And my NP isn't interested in helping me other than throwing a bunch of circle test things at me to confirm a buncha things that I've already been diagnosed with which doesn't doesn't f*cking help at all. I don't wanna be treated like this it's so wrong. Like my dad changed the locks on my mom's closet when I was four and I'll never forget that and that's the same closet that my mom. That hurt me so much and I'll never forget that EVER. That's real f*cked up. You have to be really goddamn STUPID to not realize what she was doing. What she just wanted clothes to lock themselves in there or something??? no no no no wrong. And he even told me that she told him that I was acting too "crazy" during the day even tho she had f*cking borderline + psychotic and I needed to be in there for "awhile" so she basically outright admitted it to him anyway. The worst part of it all is that I've asked him for an apology so many times and he just tells me over and over that he didn't mean it and it wasn't intentional and I'm hurting the family and f*cking it all up and he never said sorry for it ever and tries to make me think that his bitch bipolar mom who is still alive and didn't lock him in a closet only to piss all over himself like me as a toddler but she's a dumb bitch who likes to brag about her money that she got from dumping my grandpa and marrying her rich high school math teacher and inheriting loads of cash from my dad's aunts and uncles and spending all $500k of it in less than one year but still that is not as bad as being locked in a closet and pissing all over yourself and being beaten for putting a cup of orange juice on the wrong part of the table. I am so upset I don't wanna be treated like this this is wrong and they posted a bunch of pictures of me on their website and I didn't want them on there and my aunt and grandma know where I live now and it's freaking me out and they don't like me they blamed my abusive mom's death on me when I was thirteen and they said that I murdered her and they haven't let me talk to any of my younger cousins ever since and they told them that I murdered my mom too they're only NINE and thirteen and I feel so hurt I hate this I spent four hours rocking back and forth and I was completely dissociated and felt horrible today that does not happen often and the people at school expressed zero empathy over it I'm asking the school administrators if they can have a vote on a new rule advisor or something because the current school bitch is just using it to be mean to people and she is incapable of expressing any sort of "hey I'm sorry" or even f*cking looking at me while I'm having a complete flashbacky/dissociative meltdown that does not happen often and I don't want it to get any worse and I see my NP again this Thursday I hope she can write a letter about just how much this bothers me even tho she's not willing to do jack shit outside of random paper tests I got to get icecream afterward which was nice because I had a bad day and saw the Trump rally but still I was super rocky/dissociated the entire time and blanking out and I forgot where I put my water bottle mainly I DON'T WANNA HAVE FLASHBACKS ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN I AM FORCED TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION I cannot handle that I need to be left alone when this happens and avoid things like this as in being the center of attention esp in school/work/volunteering/etc I only had one flashback in the entire six months that I volunteered at the hospital and that was towards the end of it but I was not forced to be in the center of attention I only did data entry and this time was only six days into my new school not good and this is seriously interfering with my family (dad and cats) I don't want to get kicked out and forced to not have an education because of this
tldr accused of doing something that i did not do at school and had a very bad ptsd meltdown
The worst part of it all is that I get zero f*cking support from any adults around me. I am in hell and I don't know what to do. I wrote a huge letter about my PTSD that I'm going to show to the school administrators and see if they understand or not. I'm ready to start living in a homeless shelter at this point. My dad is upset with me all the time and doesn't want to deal with me anymore. He says he supports me no matter what but that doesn't match up with all of the other things that he did to enable my mom's abuse in the past and things that he's said about my PTSD episodes. I am just so upset. How am I expected to function like a normal human being when I am treated like shit???? And my NP isn't interested in helping me other than throwing a bunch of circle test things at me to confirm a buncha things that I've already been diagnosed with which doesn't doesn't f*cking help at all. I don't wanna be treated like this it's so wrong. Like my dad changed the locks on my mom's closet when I was four and I'll never forget that and that's the same closet that my mom. That hurt me so much and I'll never forget that EVER. That's real f*cked up. You have to be really goddamn STUPID to not realize what she was doing. What she just wanted clothes to lock themselves in there or something??? no no no no wrong. And he even told me that she told him that I was acting too "crazy" during the day even tho she had f*cking borderline + psychotic and I needed to be in there for "awhile" so she basically outright admitted it to him anyway. The worst part of it all is that I've asked him for an apology so many times and he just tells me over and over that he didn't mean it and it wasn't intentional and I'm hurting the family and f*cking it all up and he never said sorry for it ever and tries to make me think that his bitch bipolar mom who is still alive and didn't lock him in a closet only to piss all over himself like me as a toddler but she's a dumb bitch who likes to brag about her money that she got from dumping my grandpa and marrying her rich high school math teacher and inheriting loads of cash from my dad's aunts and uncles and spending all $500k of it in less than one year but still that is not as bad as being locked in a closet and pissing all over yourself and being beaten for putting a cup of orange juice on the wrong part of the table. I am so upset I don't wanna be treated like this this is wrong and they posted a bunch of pictures of me on their website and I didn't want them on there and my aunt and grandma know where I live now and it's freaking me out and they don't like me they blamed my abusive mom's death on me when I was thirteen and they said that I murdered her and they haven't let me talk to any of my younger cousins ever since and they told them that I murdered my mom too they're only NINE and thirteen and I feel so hurt I hate this I spent four hours rocking back and forth and I was completely dissociated and felt horrible today that does not happen often and the people at school expressed zero empathy over it I'm asking the school administrators if they can have a vote on a new rule advisor or something because the current school bitch is just using it to be mean to people and she is incapable of expressing any sort of "hey I'm sorry" or even f*cking looking at me while I'm having a complete flashbacky/dissociative meltdown that does not happen often and I don't want it to get any worse and I see my NP again this Thursday I hope she can write a letter about just how much this bothers me even tho she's not willing to do jack shit outside of random paper tests I got to get icecream afterward which was nice because I had a bad day and saw the Trump rally but still I was super rocky/dissociated the entire time and blanking out and I forgot where I put my water bottle mainly I DON'T WANNA HAVE FLASHBACKS ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN I AM FORCED TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION I cannot handle that I need to be left alone when this happens and avoid things like this as in being the center of attention esp in school/work/volunteering/etc I only had one flashback in the entire six months that I volunteered at the hospital and that was towards the end of it but I was not forced to be in the center of attention I only did data entry and this time was only six days into my new school not good and this is seriously interfering with my family (dad and cats) I don't want to get kicked out and forced to not have an education because of this
tldr accused of doing something that i did not do at school and had a very bad ptsd meltdown
