Trigger/memory

[Snowflake]

It's strange how a memory/trigger can cause one to have suicidal thoughts.

Last week was the memory during EMDR - it's been a rough two weeks with thoughts and depression. Today I wrote a paragraph about the memory-I folded the paper in a tiny triangle and gave it to her. I told her it really wasn't a big deal. I even called 2x within 15 minutes of leaving -apologizing-telling her it was nothing.

I feel stupid

 

[Muted]

I have learned to be cautious about only communicating things when me and my parts are all in agreement. That has helped me and my parts become united, because she has earned all of their trust. It helps because I listen to all of my parts and then we communicate to her.

Also, I think it's normal to feel vulnerable initially, but as your relationship grows and you have that level of trust, you will be glad you stepped out and took the chance.

 

[Snowflake]

Also, I think it's normal to feel vulnerable initially, but as your relationship grows and you have that...

Thanks

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake I'm glad that you gave her the paper. You should never feel stupid or shame about a trauma. Remember IT was DONE TO YOU, so you have nothing to feel shame or stupid about.

I think what you wanted from your T when you called was the reassurance that you are not stupid and that you did the right thing. Keep opening up, even though it hurts like hell. It gets easier....

 

[Snowflake]

@Snowflake I'm glad that you gave her the paper. You should never feel stupid or s...

Yes!

 

[Deleted member 541]

You're doing awesome, you just don't seem to give yourself the credit that you deserve. You've been through hell for the past year and you're still standing, still fighting and still here!!!!!

 

[Snowflake]

Thanks-these past two weeks have been hell. I'm ready to give up.

A year ago on the 12th I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This week I was told I need a D&C. OMG I CANT deal!!! A male doc putting something up my vagina when I'm dealing with a memory of my father and brother.

I AM OVERWHELMED!!

@She Cat -sorry.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake First of all please stop saying that you're sorry!!!! My god, what in the hell do you have to be sorry about?????? As I said, you've been through hell for the past yr. you have every right to be upset, and you also have to find a way to deal with it, because as you know, it isn't going away..... Is it possible to get a female GYN???? If not, ok, then you need to dig real deep and find the courage to face this. You need to have it done and not doing it will cause you more issues, so...... How can you get through this if you have to??????

 

[Snowflake]

I'm just going to do it-and deal with the awful feelings

 

[Deleted member 541]

Deal with those feelings with GOOD coping skills, and keep reaching out for help, and writing in your diary.... I'm always around as is everyone else!!!!!!