I found a nationally syndicated radio show that handles consumer problems... I emailed the producer and I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get their help.
I was really triggered by thinking I drank urine. After the helpful replies here and doing some more research, it is extremely unlikely there was any proper test or proof it was actually urine.
I think the claim that it was urine may even be a language issue - the agent said it was urine, even "pee" - but I wonder if the mis-read some note as urine because they did not sound like a native english speaker.
The coffee shop and the friend who was tripped have both written signed letters already to vouch that there was no urine... I didn't even ask them, but I did ask my fired if she could vouch for me that it's not urine. She said yes. I was able to tell her I find part of this funny. She apologized again for the spill, I told her no worries, please - you are my friend, accidents happen. It felt really good to be able to tell her that. To keep my anger directed at the right people.
Facing being accused of sending them urine is a little triggering - but that part is getting easier by the moment to handle.
I called them and taped myself asking if the plan covers coffee, tea, water, AND urine spills. Yes, I asked flat out off it covers urine. It does! If I accidentally pilled a whole cup of urine on it their plan offers no exemptions and it should be covered replacement. The copy of the details of my plan do not state any exemption for biological hazards and/or urine. It is clear that it has to be an accidental spill, and I have a whole host of witnesses for that.
So. All the evidence point's that it's a dumb thing they are doing that doesn't even fall as an exemption in their plan they sold me. Being falsely accused of mailing them urine is making me mad, but I'm fueling that into taking some action. It's the last thing I need right now, but at least I can try to do something about this...