Truth Or Not

[Nighthawk]

I have given my T gifts or a slice of cake in the past. She always seems so appreciative. Something I am really not used to. I was really struggeling on Tuesday which happened to be one of the days I brought her a slice of lemmon poppy cake that I had just baked.

I texted her later in the day i rater bad place and her responce was that I was making it worse. OK but 2 min later she said the cake was amazing. Now I am starting to wonder if the positive feedback is her trying to build up some self esteem. I am no longer sure that she is being honest or doing her job.

Maybe it was the timing.

 

[darrenS]

Maybe it was the timing.

I would simply go back after a few days and talk to her, its probably in itself a good issue to raise for your own sake. I sometimes question peoples motives and before i know it, ive made a solid issue out of it , i am learning slowly to give the benefit of the doubt and also be more patient in both addressing the issue and accepting the response

 

[Friday]

Rule #1 of Therapy = Don't lie to your clients.

Talk around, reframe, ask a question, explain different views held by others (at least 2 or 3), admit ignorance (don't just make up shit that sounds good, don't say you understand if you don't, etc.), 1001 in one ways to never ever ever lie to your clients. Breaks trust.

If she said it was amazing? I'm sure it was amazing.

Now I want lemon poppyseed cake. :happy: Mmmmmmm..... :facepalm:

 

[Nam]

Gah text. It can be very abrupt. Just take it exactly as she said it. Don't read between the lines.

Your lemon poppy cake is amazing.
You're making it worse.

Is it better to turn it around?

It's so much simpler to just take it exactly as she said it. No worse, no better.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

 

[Nighthawk]

No turning it around does not change anything. I think its most likely me being paranoid but I dont like that it affects my trust abilities.

 

[Friday]

If it makes you feel any better Nighthawk... I don't really trust someone until they've hated something I've made and told me so, and reamed me out at least once. Trust issues? Nah. Trust fissures. Those cracks that split through glaciers and continents. Not to be melodramatic or anything ;)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Maybe this is why gifts between therapists and clients is ill advised? Just a thought.

 

[Sandstone]

Can you tell me more, because I'm not understanding properly.

What were you making worse? Is it something actually associated with the cake, or did the two things just happen to come together on one day?

 

[Jane.l]

I have starting trying out a new thing lately - this is going to sound werid to a lot of people but I - like most of us here struggle with trust and abandonment issues which has caused all kinds of problems in therapy. I do have a really good strong relationship with my T that we have worked on over a long time but the other day when we hit some bump in the road that would usually have me thinking he didn't care was trying to get rid of me etc etc , I just wondered what it would be like to treat him with the same unconditional postive regards that he uses for me - at the end of the day I truly believe he's a good guy, we wants to help and tries his best but he's human he screws up. It's ok to tell him he's screwed up because he treats me with unconditional postive regard and we'll work though it. It oddly makes me feel much calmer about the whole therapy process.

Obviously not going to work for a lot of people and you have to be totally on board with your T - but just thought I would share as it helped me.

If you feel she might not be being honest with you tell her and explain why - but my guess is she felt your rant was causing you to become more anxious and wanted you to focus on something more postive - which could have been the fact your cake was delicious .

 

[desiderata310]

I gave my therapist (and his dog who sits with me through therapy to help me) a small tolken gift.
The dog got a fancy bone (which he smelled through my backpack even though it was packeged in plastic and wouldn't stop sniffing my backpack till I dug it out and gave it to my therapist to give to his dog. He happily munched on it during our session.
MY therapist didn't open his gift till much later that day and when he did, he texted me a thank you.
I had had a very difficult session and earlier in the day had texted me to check in on me.
There was a part of me that started to look at this the wrong way as well. I had to stop and FORCE myself to look at this different.
All that to say, I think that she was really pleased with the cake and wanted to make sure to tell you right then while it was on her mind so she didn't forget to thank you for the gift.

 

[Nighthawk]

@stenni No they were seperate issues that just happened to be on the same day.

Its all the fact that I cant trust to begin with. So realty is my trusting her at all is an achievment