Relationship Trying and trying but getting nowhere. A therapeutic rant.

FutureDrR

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Lying next to hubby whilst he sleeps off a hangover. A drinking episode which started enjoyable with friends then turned into an absolute shit show.

This used to happen 3 years ago on the regular and ended in him being arrested for driving under the influence (he overdosed on sleeping tablets in a s****** attempt). But he stopped and cleaned up his act. Apart from the road rage.

Are we headed down that road again? I’ve told him the drinking has to stop but I worry he won’t listen.

I’ve given him the dreaded ultimatum as I can’t take this much longer. There’s only so many times I can watch my kind hearted husband turn into an abusive prick before I break.

The man I fell in love with 13 years ago wasn’t aggressive (apart from to bullies - which is fair enough in my opinion). But now, I can’t leave the house with him without worrying about who he’ll take offence too. But at home, he’s loving, sweet and always so regretful of anything he’s done.

Currently in therapy for the fourth time, but constantly suicidal. The health services just don’t seem to care though. It takes five weeks to just be seen by a doctor to either up or change his meds. Plus over 1.5 years to just get close to getting him the meds he needs for his adhd (was diagnosed as a kid - pretty much the dictionary definition of it in adulthood - mixed in with PTSD). I just want the guy I love back.

Not asking for advice, more just writing it down to get it off my chest. Also have my first therapy session in two days. First since before the traumatic event that started this shit show, not first ever.

Feel free to rant below if you feel you need it.
 
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A therapeutic rant.
Not asking for advice, more just writing it down to get it off my chest.

We all need those! 😎

Pity more of them don’t come with martinis poolside, or marshmallows on sticks on the beach by the bonfire, or rolling in snow at the hot springs.

Some things? Just. Create. Space. To. Breath.

Venting is one of them.

It’s exhausting being on good behaviour all the time, and impossible to be on 24/7 suicide watch by one’s self.

If you ever feel the need to laugh yourself silly? >>> General - Rant and complain thread open to all supporters
 
We all need those! 😎

Pity more of them don’t come with martinis poolside, or marshmallows on sticks on the beach by the bonfire, or rolling in snow at the hot springs.

Some things? Just. Create. Space. To. Breath.

Venting is one of them.

It’s exhausting being on good behaviour all the time, and impossible to be on 24/7 suicide watch by one’s self.

If you ever feel the need to laugh yourself silly? >>> General - Rant and complain thread open to all supporters
Thank you! I wish that was the case as well!

Luckily I do have a good support system. And go to five gym classes a week as a bit of space. Which is something that really balances me. I highly suggest ballroom and Latin classes if you’ve never tried them! Brings such joy into my life :)

Does he make changes (currently) other than being loving and sweet?
He does luckily. We hadn’t had anything like this for about three years (last time I kicked him out the house).

He’s been engaging with his therapy and taking his meds, but I think we’re in the bit of therapy where it’s worse before it gets better.

I’m also at fault of mothering him, which doesn’t help. So definitely need to work on that to get him to take a bit more responsibility for it all.
 
Sounds like you have a good structure in place—your frustration completely understandable—so stressful to face that shit again! The dance classes sound awesome!!
 
Sounds like you have a good structure in place—your frustration completely understandable—so stressful to face that shit again! The dance classes sound awesome!!
I’m definitely lucky. Coming from an armed forces family I have a lot of people around who understand where he’s at and who can support me. Don’t think we’d have survived otherwise!
Incredibly frustrating!! That’s the perfect term for it.
The dance classes are awesome. I’ve got two left feet as well but it’s just fun to get out and be with people who have no idea about my life!
 

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