Relationship Trying to save him, can't save myself, drowning us both

[PenelopeB]

This is what stands out to me, especially the "different core values" part. Those aren't going to ch...

That is part of what concerns me. In some ways, it pushes us to be more open to ideas. As I said, he sees these differences and our ability to talk about them as a strength. However, especially when it comes to family, or potentially building a family, I'm not sure how we can make some of these things work without some degree of flexibility or change

 

[EveHarrington]

It can be extremely hard to find actual PTSD and trauma trained therapists for those who have PTSD....let alone support for supporters. (I'm in the USA...) If you're in a city you -may- have some luck, but if you do find something for supporters it may be akin to finding a needle in a haystack. I don't want to sound discouraging, I just want to let you know what you're up against. Your greatest support from those who "get it" may be right here.

 

[Beans]

That is part of what concerns me. In some ways, it pushes us to be more open to ideas. As I said, he...

Thing is re core values, we all have to learn at some point- ptsd or completely normal relationship- those are the things you don't mess with and compromise on. Seriously. Like your boundaries, in relationships you have to know who you are and know your non negotiables. Children or not, want marriage or not, finances, where you want to live, way you treat others, ways to raise children, family involvement, religion, politics, social life, sex, chores, school and a few others are very important to be on the same page. They could be 100% "perfect" but if one person wants children and the other person doesn't there's no compromise there. I could never be with someone who spanks or is very seriously into religion, someone else may want the exact opposite. Some pple don't have strong opinions on certain things some do.

Just like with boundaries, you need to sit and get to know yourself. Not thinking about him, just what does Penelope want. When you know who you are, your non negotiable and deal breakers, along with your needs and boundaries, it makes it much easier to navigate this and any other relationship you'll be in.

 

[dulcia]

100% agree with @RealisticandHopeful on that and even more so if there is possibility of y'all having children in the future.