Sexual Assault Unnameable Emotion?

[Lalala]

This may seem a bit weird, but whatever. Firstly I'll say I've been sexually assaulted and raped. When the first one happened, I felt this unknown unidentiable emotion that I never felt (I've had a life threatning before, didnt have that emotion) probs a mix of a few, but I don't know what it is. I know there's anxiety or fear in it, but that's the only emotion I could identify. Since then, when I've been put in similar or triggering situations, I've felt that same awful feeling. I felt that same feeling everytime I was assaulted to a very high point of intensity, before I dissociated. I feel often now, when triggered. I know it's just some thing linked with assault, but I'm not sure what it. Do any of you, can kinda relate to this? I'd like to know what that weird emotion really is? I can just say it feels awful, I'm not aroused mentally at all. It often feels like your drowing when it's more on the intense side, and you feel weird shit in your body when it gets to that point.

 

[Rumors]

Yep... I get it. I can't pinpoint the verbiage for what I am feeling but it is like rotten eggs mixed with a side of fear and anxiety. ?

 

[EveHarrington]

Sounds like a mix of emotions. Is it your fight/flight/freeze mechanism kicking in to the nth degree?

 

[Abstract]

I find it impossible too.

https://imgur.com/a/CkxQC

 

[Friday]

Revulsion?

From the Latin root meaning “torn out” ... (same as revolt)... it’s a violent blend of nauseating disgust, aversion/ wish to avoid/ recoil, horror, sense of abomination/wrongness, & loathing.

 

[Abstract]

One of the words I use.

 

[Strangelongtrip]

I relate. It’s a mix of emotions for me. I feel it in my throat mainly.

 

[Skywatcher]

When I was a kid and finally got home and climbed the stairs I feel that part of me fragmented off. When I see this scene in a flashback or emdr set, there is a darkness that has a deeply painful, swirl of emotions as though it broke off of my younger self and stored all of the pain and hurt. I believe the child me was able to repress the memory and move on. I am terrified of the shadow fragment at this time.

 

[Lucycat]

Other than trying to reply to my therapist (back when I was in therapy) I don't think I have ever tried to name my emotions at all. It is just not something I can relate to. I am more likely to say I feel great or I feel (emotionally) unwell. There is not much in between as I find it far too complicated.

 

[jaay]

Yeah, I get it too welp