Up To Fourth Time This Year Abusing Scripts

[mamachick]

@sun seeker-You are right, sorry for any confusion. Meant to address it to OP.

Any adjustments to meds, or self adjustments is dangerous and waling a slippery slope. That is hard for me to admit as we all know there are times that we can and do quit a medication because we are able to make a good judgement. Not so true with any psych meds, pain, anxiety and other meds, either over use or skipping doses.

 

[Jnean]

im feeling like maybe I should reach out again. My T had to reschedule but does not have any openings until my next scheduled meet with her so its okay, i have other support. I just feel like it's hard to not use a substance to solve my problems, I know better. Just struggling a bit today. Just over a week ago I was still doing this with medications. It has been a coping mechanism of mine since I was 14. But since I nearly overdosed last wknd I am now in a new chapter of my life with the knowledge of I can not do that anymore. Not sure if it makes sense. I feel scared to use and I need to get it out there to make it real. Otherwise I could easily hide away and convince myself it's alright just this one last time.

 

[Jnean]

if i just didn't have these flashes of them and the tent and feel angry. I know how to ground. I just need to focus.

 

[mamachick]

I just feel like it's hard to not use a substance to solve my problems, I know better.

I don't think you believe that the substance solves your problems, but allows you to escaped them momentarily.
I think I know what you are saying though, that you have that impulse and internal arguement and craving to let the impulse take over, use, and feel relief….until the next time. Please correct if I am misunderstanding.

I dont know what meds you abuse or how old you are. Have you ever written a list of what you have told yourself the benefits of using are ? I know others who have been successful doing this and then challenging the beliefs they hold about the comfort. Then have changed their language to be very realistic about any real or perceived benefits and develop statements to counter the urges as they come with simple one sentence statements. My personal impulsive behavior has come from any messages that justify, rationalize, support entitlement, minimize own actions,

I find ptsd leaves my head full of self arguement and when I keep it simple, life is a tiny bit easier. ( Is doing this going to get me what I want and need?) is an example of reducing that arguement rolling around that prevents better health , safety and peace in my life.

Im glad that you have some good supports that you can reach out to in the absence of your T. I hope you do continue to reach out.

 

[Jnean]

thank you, good helpful points and advice here for me.