User Adaruth is Marilyn S.

[Awakening]

Don't worry She Cat, I was wondering too, as this forum seems so liberal. I'm glad you asked the question.

Also malingering means lazy, idle - I had to look that word up!!!! LOL.

 

[anthony]

Not even bothered by the question, quite willing and open to express that to anyone who wants to know. I have PTSD, so I off all people should know what shit we can do, the damaging words that come from our mouths, the hurt and pain we can express. People who do this don't offend me, it just means they have what I have. I learnt to control myself, and if I don't have patience as with those who helped me some of the way did, then how the hell would any off us get better? We wouldn't is the simple answer if you ask me. This is why its pretty tough to be banned here, because the simple fact is I actually understand and do not try and have some lingering power over others. Far from it actually, where I want and encourage people to look too one another and then expand to anyone here who relates, we help each other, no one off us can help everyone else.

Lots of people come here and get upset as an example, because they think I can help them personally, where in fact for every person who thinks that... well, you do the math for the members here. No one person here should ever be looked too for absolute and isolated guidance, instead I promote that people be open to all responces, all members opinions, and respect others opinions and values.

One member was banned because it was far from coincidental that he was targeting females and was less than appropriate towards them. Not really good especially considering a lot of women here have PTSD from rape / molestation / sexual abuse. Triggering is good in one hand, bad in another. That incident was bad, hence the member was banned. Lots of usernames get banned immediately as spammers.

This is the web and unfortunately comes with it many deceptive and manipulative people. It would be very hard for someone to trick me into believing they have PTSD, because regardless how much they read here, if I ask them a few questions and they respond nothing like what they should having PTSD, then it would immediately get my attention. Saying that, I certainly cannot vette every member here, that would be impossible. There comes a fine line with the web, one where whilst you share information, you must always be weary of others until such time as you know them. This is exactly why I encourage members to use the video system more, and why I am moving further towards more video than just text chat, because with video you can see the person and hear them. It is mighty hard to try and fool another with PTSD if say they where a malinger or sexual predator for women. A person would pick it generally pretty quickly compared to likely never with just text chat.

If a person comes on the forum, says there from such and such an area, x old, so forth, its a bit hard to fool that when you get online and if your supposed to be 30 and look 60, chances are there not who they say they are, thus would be reported immediately. This is the reason I am moving more towards video, because it lessens the chance of predators and dishonest people getting online here and manipulating someone.

I have caught some predators prior to them getting to the forum from random searches I do on all members, and I mean pretty indepth searches I have access. Whilst I have found a couple, that doesn't mean one or two aren't here already. This is why one must always trust their instinct when online. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, chances are its a duck. Use commonsense I say.... trust those you know indepth, do not every meet up with someone from this forum unless you have first video'd with them lots, and have someone with you. We are not a dating site, so immediately someone who trys to use it as such, commonsense says be weary and cautious.

These type of things can and will get people banned here. That doesn't mean they can't get back on here again, it just means they have to now use all different details, usernames, etc, go through moderation again and the list goes on. Can be a mighty painful process to go through time and time again.

 

[Kathy]

Also malingering means lazy, idle - I had to look that word up!!!! LOL.

Hmm no. A malingerer is someone who pretends to be ill for sympathy, or in my experience as a social worker, in order to receive disability benefits which they don't truly deserve. So I imagine here on the forum, it would be someone pretending to have PTSD and/or drawing attention to themselves for the purpose of sympathy.

 

[goingonhope]

Forgive me Anthony, if you will for finding the humor too, in what is indeed very serious......and, the real deal !

These things made me chuckle and chuckle hard. I'm still laughing for crying out loud. You certainly have a way about you that expresses clearly just what needs to be said, plus adds humor which makes for a truly pleasant read.

Lots of people come here and get upset as an example, because they think I can help them personally, where in fact for every person who thinks that... well, you do the math for the members here.

If a person comes on the forum, says there from such and such an area, x old, so forth, its a bit hard to fool that when you get online and if your supposed to be 30 and look 60, chances are there not who they say they are,

random searches I do on all members, and I mean pretty indepth searches I have access.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, chances are its a duck.

Damn' I'm still laughing, and find so much humor in what I've quoted above.

Hope

 

[anthony]

That about sums up my interpretation on it to Kathy... thank you.

 

[goingonhope]

Marilyn Welcome Back ! and though I'm not condoning any deception, I'm glad you found your way back, and found your way to a much greater place where you want nothing more than to heal You.

Hope

 

[Awakening]

Well now for some stupid reason I feel pissed off by this post & freaked out.

Freaked out that people would come on here as predators (yes I know it's the internet) and at the same time completely freaked out about a video link (no way would I ever want to show my face) or that a search would be done on me. I don't want anyone knowing who am I and therefore connecting my story to me.

And maybe I am a malingerer!!! On both definitions. I am lazy & idle. And I do want sympathy. I get that it's meant to be tough, and therefore people should be tough on us. My therapist can be caring & compassionate but if I'm honest I wish for more care & compassion from her & frankly the entire world because I feel so bloody ripped off by all my experiences. What's wrong with wanting just a tiny bit of empathy when you experienced the depths of human depravity?

I still don't know if I have PTSD or PTS or if I'm just demented in the head and a selfish attention seeking bitch. I ask my therapist and she gets all cagey and says 'well you do have clusters of the symptoms'. WTF???? I ask her 'tell me do I have a disorder' and she says 'i don't like putting labels of disorders on people, we'll take about this later' I say 'why not, I'm not going to freak out or anything if I do', and she looks at me like yeah right and says firmly 'we'll talk about this another time'.

Then I read piles of stuff, and really I'm none the bloody wiser. Maybe its all my head and I am a malingerer.

Definitely it's apparent I'm a thread hi-jaker. So let's tick that box.

 

[nobody]

Hmm no. A malingerer is someone who pretends to be ill for sympathy, or in my experience as a social worker, in order to receive disability benefits which they don't truly deserve. So I imagine here on the forum, it would be someone pretending to have PTSD and/or drawing attention to themselves for the purpose of sympathy.

You mean you can get paid for this? :doh:

I don't know if I would want to be diagnosed then. I wouldn't want to be put under a microscope.:finger:

 

[anthony]

Awakening, please stop taking everything said here inwards; that is not the idea. You take what is useful to you, you leave the rest. Not every topic is for every person. If not, then disregard them. If so, then participate within them. Your choice at the end of the day.

Just please stop beating yourself up over any little thing said.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Anthony,

I can totally understand you feelings on the video portion of this forum. It really would cut down on any or all fabrication, or perpetrators trying to invade the very safety net you provide for us rape, and molest cases.

My only problem.....OH crap.....Ok, I will fess up....I am somewhat vain. I crash and burn when I get home after work. There are times....Ok...Well The hair is a mess, no make up, and OMG....I don't put my teeth in......Shit.......

 

[Kathy]

You mean you can get paid for this? :doh:

Not paid Nobody, but rather supported financially, by the government or a former employer, should one be incapable of working, as many with PTSD are. PTSD is a recognized disability in many places.

And maybe I am a malingerer!!!

Awakening, individuals honestly seeking answers about themselves and looking for support are not malingerers. Being a malingerer is far more serious than how you are describing yourself. For example, my Evie (batgirl) has cancer. We live rurally and quite remotely, so she recently joined an online cancer support group. To become a member of that group however, she was required to provide the owner with a reference from a physician stating she had cancer. This information would of course remain confidential; however it was required. Many medical support groups are now doing the very same thing. Reason being, individuals will join a forum posing as a cancer patient, in order to get attention for themselves and even to solicit funds for treatment in some cases. These people are puposely being dishonest to achieve their own ends; they are con artists.

 

[Lisa]

Unfortunately some people feed off attention from the worst things in life that they haven't actually experienced, or they pretend to be someone they are not for their own devious ideas. It is much easier to fool a person online so it is more likely than in real life, but it happens... as Kathy said - con artists. And when it happens the feeling of being fooled is not nice :( A malingerer is not someone who believes they have PTSD and is trying to find a way foward and get some support for problems they do experience, so don't worry :) And Anthony, the editors and mods and whathaveyou (I dont know all the technical names but the staff here is what I mean) are shit hot on this kinda stuff, so if there are any that have creeped through they are not many and will be spotted quickly.