Very depressed trying to find value

[Punky143]

It's rare I feel happiness anymore. The pleasure of doing things feels daunting. Instead of my parts being vocal about their thoughts and opinions, it's not worth it and we've shut down knowing no one wants to hear it. We've been through these periods throughout out our entire life. And it's these dark places that we've been hospitalized, sh, make poor decisions and basically self sabotage.
My 12.5 yr old golden retriever died July 19th and I'm so heartbroken. And my one and only kid suddenly doesn't want to be around me and I'm sad about that too. This summer hasn't been a good one but it could be worse they say

 

[Friday]

There are certain things I just shouldn’t do when I’m depressed.

Trying to find value? Definitely one of them. Right along with points, reasons, and other things I’m blind to when I’m depressed. Because not being able to see/understand (at all, much less innately, and forget about excitedly) just makes me even moooooooore depressed. If I haven’t felt suicidal in awhile, and want to drive myself to that level of pain & despair? Looking for things I can’t see will do it, quicker than most things.

It’s my 4th “Oh, that’s useful!” never.

Never make a promise when I’m happy
Never reply when angry.
Never make a decision when sad.
Never look for reasons, points, the point, value, or meaning when depressed.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your puppy.

Your kid will come around. You love them too much for them not to.

Strength to you. Getting through hard times is a brutal business.

 

[mamachick]

Punky Im sorry your feeling so down. It is hard to find value when in that state. Even when not really down, I just lack enthusiasm for much and I understand when the mood lowers at all, everything is harder. You just lost your fur baby.....that has really put me in a low mood. Sounds like your golden was your best friend. When I lost mine I couldn't get out of bed. I felt kind of guilty at first when seeking another pup. No pup can replace our lost ones, but its ok to love a new one, and it can help us heal. Maybe you can think about getting another pup. My kids have been this way, but they do come around.

Friday is totally right about things not to do when feeling certain ways.

 

[Survivor3]

It's rare I feel happiness anymore. The pleasure of doing things feels daunting. Instead of my parts being vocal about their thoughts and opinions, it's not worth it and we've shut down knowing no one wants to hear it. We've been through these periods throughout out our entire life. And it's these dark places that we've been hospitalized, sh, make poor decisions and basically self sabotage.
My 12.5 yr old golden retriever died July 19th and I'm so heartbroken. And my one and only kid suddenly doesn't want to be around me and I'm sad about that too. This summer hasn't been a good one but it could be worse they say

Hi @Punky143 I'm so sorry your feeling depressed. Losing your dog is so upsetting and that kind of grief takes a long time to get over, however at some point in the future maybe when you've grieved enough, you could get a new puppy that you could love and nurture.

I hope you can maybe take small steps to feel better, like taking a walk in nature, making some nice food or going out for a meal. Are there any activities where you live to get involved with like sports or arts and crafts etc?

 

[brokenpony]

i’m so sorry about your dog. losing my cat sent me into a serious depression also. i hope you can get out of it. it’s so hard.

 

[Movingforward10]

Loosing a pet is so hard. They are just a constant in our life. Give us a routine. Give us so much love. To not have that is a big deal.
There is always a way through. Maybe now is just little steps in accepting you are grieving and this is painful.
How is your self care routine right now? Are there things to pick up there that might help? Not to find meaning but just to know you are worth these acts of care for yourself.

 

[Punky143]

Today was the first time I went to the place my dog and I hiked pretty much everyday for years. I sat alone in my car and talked to him. I reminded him of all the fun times we had, all the pure love he gave me and I told him it was an honor to be his mom.
Maybe some people will relate to the above or some will think we're nuts.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Doesn't sound nuts, I'm glad you got to be able to be with him in that way

 

[Movingforward10]

I agree.
I think in grieving, finding a way to feel connected, carry our loved one around with us, is a real comfort. Glad you found a way of doing that. It sounds special.