General Vet feels discriminated against at his work

[anonymous]

My vet feels he has been discriminated against at his job because he has not been considered for a task because he does not hear well... but actually he hears well enough to understand nearly everything.
Another problem: he has to get up quite early for his job which is bad because he does not sleep well.
He is afraid of loosing his job next year, not because of anything he does but because the company will have to fire a lot of their employees for financial reasons.

Actually he has been very unhappy with his job lately so that I think it is "okay", but this is not the first time he has been fired and i am afraid it will not be the last time. How did you as a vet or your vet find a job that was right for him and where he did not feel discriminated against.

By the way the do not know he has PTSD.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He may always feel discriminated against wherever he works because of anxiety and low self worth. He may find the perfect job and still find himself feeling that way.

 

[anonymous]

Well... yes and no.
He is a lateral entrant in his field and he thinks that the people in his company are pretty clannish... let's call it like that... meaning they use abbreviations he has no knowledge of, crack jokes he does not understand + he does not hear well and sometimes really does not understand when they mumble but is to proud to ask them... they are not malicious but I think he does not feel like a full member of the clan and that makes him sad.
... but he in turn can be smug and no, I would not say he has low self esteem.

Often he is to proud to ask. Let's say somebody cracked a joke or used an abbreviation he does not understand. Does he ask them to clarify? Nope he comes home and asks me what they ment to say.

I think that in this case he really has been discriminated against.

My vet needs a job where he can be friends with his coworkers and feel like a full member of the clan even though he entered the profession through the backdoor.

Who is a vet and made this experience? Whose vet made this experience?

 

[anonymous]

My vet has asked a few of his coworkers if the wanted to meet with us after work but nobody has shown any interest. He wants to be their friend but they seem to be not interested and that made him feel bad...
Has your vet made similar experiences? Have you as a vet made similar experiences?

 

[grimalkin]

My sufferer worked in probably one of the worst fields to work in with PTSD - he was a correctional officer. The atmosphere is incredibly clannish and clique-filled, and there are a lot of factions, some who are in the good graces of the higher-ups (usually the warden and those just under and above the warden), and those who are not, along with those who are in with the union reps, those who were put there (in that particular prison or position) by their cronies, and those who, like my sufferer, were kind of outsiders to any of the factions. The politicking was unbearable to ME and I didn't even work there. I couldn't imagine what a pain in the ass it was for someone there.

That said, he found it best to just not form many friendships within his workplace. He had a few friends at the prison itself, some within the wider system (parole officers and at other prisons), and the majority of his friends had nothing to do with the system at all. He kept his head down and did his job. He was well-liked as a supervisor, because he DIDN'T play politics and was fair with his workers.

He was not well-liked by his superiors for the same reason, and he felt, as well, that he was discriminated against for many reasons. On one hand, he was. He was not going to promote any higher than he was because he didn't play politics.

On the other, I was approached by his coworkers (the ones he did get along with) throughout the years who basically told me it was his attitude that had him isolated. Those who got to know him ended up friendly, but getting to know him was almost impossible. He wanted to make friends sometimes, but it had to be on his terms and his terms alone (he would not go out with them, wouldn't join in the various baseball/golf/softball/bowling leagues they had, etc). If he WAS invited to do something that he had no direct interest in, he refused, and they stopped trying. If he invited someone else to do something, he would not compromise to any of the details, and generally bailed anyway.

Through it all? He thought he was being reasonable, friendly, approachable, and was confused as to why "no one" liked him (but at the same time claimed to not care). He had friends who truly cared about him, but most of them did so from a distance. His anger at being punished for not playing politics came through more than he realized, and it did not make it easy for people to accept him.

Ironically, this job seemed to "work" for him, and he was at it for quite awhile. I think my advice for someone with PTSD in finding a job that works, is probably the same as for anybody: If you aren't embraced by your coworkers, make sure you play by the rules so they don't have a reason to get rid of you just because you don't fit in. Find friendships and fulfillment outside the workplace. And, if it's a consistent problem with not being liked by coworkers...look inward.

It may not be your fault, but, especially with the issues that come with PTSD (hyperviligance, distrust, emotional distance, etc), it's very easy for others to pick up on that quickly, but if they don't know the reason, will just see you as stand off-ish or unfriendly. It was (and continues to be) a major problem for my sufferer - he hates that people "assign" emotions to him...and he doesn't realize that, to someone who doesn't have PTSD, if you look angry and act angry, they will figure you are angry. If you constantly refuse to join in, they will stop asking (and, at least for my sufferer, he would ignore or not remember the offer to begin with, or even resent the offer because it came from the people who he looked down on for politicking).

Anyway, sorry if that was too long. I am definitely not trying to be critical, and I can't imagine trying to navigate the petty crap that goes with working in any environment, with PTSD. I have no idea of the situation of your sufferer, beyond what you've provided, so it may not correlate at all with my sufferer's experience. I am probably rare in that I DID have the "other side" PoV as well (coworkers that approached me).

 

[anonymous]

Thanks for sharing. Working as a correctional officer while having PTSD sounds quite challenging.

There is a lot of things my sufferer does not do because of his PTSD. He avoids all environment which are crowded or "chaotic". If the both of us go out, which we do not do very often, it is sometimes difficult to find something that fits his needs... but I do know he has PTSD and can adapt. His workmates on the other hand do not know. He cannot join them but cannot tell them why.
On the other hand when he suggested to meet after work they have shown no interest.

I don't know how they think about him. Sometimes he seems to be detached but it is just how it seems to be on the outside because I can testify he is a great friend who will always help a friend in need. Unfortunately they live far away.
In addition to that he is their supervisor/teamleader and maybe they are just a bit afraid. Don't know.

People at his workplace are just as you describe. Always politicking. He cannot stand it and he is always complaining about it. I am not sure if it is really that bad or if it is just him having a negative worldview.
His job is basically to make them function as a team but they do not do this very well and though he does not tell them he is sometimes pretty frustrated with them.
Like I said he just HATES chaos and they are so chaotic and have no idea how to function as a team but always politicking and he blames himself for that which leads to self hate.

I, too, have lost many of my friendships since I married him. One reason of course is the fact that I do not have as much time as I used to but another reason is the fact that he never goes places and if he does not join us I often decide to stay at home with him.

Unfortunately we often run out of "PTSD friendly", not so crowded and chaotic, whatever you want to call it activities.

 

[anonymous]

As I said he is a team leader but a guy who is not one has been considered for a task that was a "team leader task" so to speak. So all the other guys doing this tasks will be team leaders but my sufferer has been asked to choose somebody else because they think he does not hear well enough, will not be able to understand possible questions and so on.

My sufferer did just as he had been told, he is not one to talk back. In fact he hates it, but it hurt him a lot and he felt discriminated against.

He is not deaf or anything like that and surely choosing him for the task would not have caused trouble.

 

[ParalyzedMind]

In my experience, the corporate world is typically horrible work environment for vets. Their cookie cutter, popular culture and overly up-to-date PC-ness can make anyone who doesn't catch up with latest fad feel like an outsider. OTOH, there is nobody I would hire more than a veteran and to me, people with PTSD have excellent potentials to be healers, once their heads are straight. I feel I am almost contradicting myself here, just having given up my OWN job, but being a physician has become too much and it would be irresponsible for me to continue.

I think more small-business veterans-only ventures is going to happen. I may get into that as my next career. I don't think the corporate world really cares about anything besides APPEARING to care for vets, just like they collect minority, gender or what have you tokens. It is very phony and only suits those who know how to play the game well.

Finally, I couldn't imagine anything better than a recovered and functional vet with PTSD to do therapy to others. They have real skills, natural discipline and compassion that most of the mainstream ones will never get. The key is RECOVERED.

 

[Sighs]

a recovered and functional vet with PTSD

Er... and where do you find these? In amongst the rocking horse shit?

I'm not trying to be disrespectful to vets or those with PTSD or you, @ParalyzedMind, but no treatment can take away the trauma vets have suffered, there is no cure for PTSD and being cyclic even a vet who has managed their PTSD well for many years can be knocked back down to square one at any time.

I've seen my vet try and help other vets and have to pull away because he is not well enough to deal with his own issues let alone someone else's. I've seen vets try and help him and then pull away no doubt because it is triggering them. As much as peer to peer support is needed and helpful it can be problematic for both sides.

 

[ParalyzedMind]

Er... and where do you find these? In amongst the rocking horse shit?

I'm not trying to be disrespectf...

No disrespect perceived;)

However, I will tell you this. In my residency training, one of my colleagues had PTSD and finished the training.

I know others who are holding pretty darn complex jobs, one a chief IT coordinator at a major HC system. I also was working with his TBI at that time and saw how a veteran with PTSD is a person with an illness, instead of just an illness.

The strides made in mental health may seem slow and elusive for the individual, but behind the scenes AMAZING things are slowly happening.

Newer stop being optimist, while preserving day-to-day realism.

 

[Sighs]

Sigh! None of these amazing things seem to be filtering through to those of us at the coalface...

 

[ParalyzedMind]

Sigh! None of these amazing things seem to be filtering through to those of us at the coalface...[/QUOTE...

I can only be sorry you have not had the same experiences, but can assert there are plenty people in society with PTSD, TBI or other mental health disorders who not only do well, but can excel in their fields. At the same time, clearly it is more of an uphill battle to reach same goals, but is it possible?

Based on my own encounters with people, I would have to say it is.