Vigilance Is A Guard On The Wall Of Traumatic Memory

[The Albatross]

(((Bloom some days twofers are difficult))) Feel better soon gal. :hug:

 

[CraftyCath]

Sending you love and hugs bloom. It is so difficult when we have more than one stressful thing to deal with.

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((Bloom)))

 

[BloomInWinter]

Thank you so much, dear friends.

My system is once again standing guard, unwilling to leave the post even when there's no army advancing and it is now a time of peace in my life. My mind just can't seem to realize that.

 

[Elizabeth-Ann]

I dont' think hypervigilence will ever go away. Medication has helped me be a bit; calming me and not feel so overwhelmed. I have to have periods of being a hermit to regroup. . And I just like to be alone.

In can relate to what you say. I take medications and it helps a lot. The hypervigilence is reduced through little acts that I am able to authorize myself: not to lock my bedrooms door for example.

I am still hoping that it will go away one day, or at least that it can be reduced to a minimum and controlled though. My Psychiatrist says that with the healing process I should be able to trust again.

Loving it being alone will always be my natural way of feeling and living, but my PTSD should not dominate my ability to choose freely what to do. This is my wish for myself, for you and for you all out there suffering.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am not so hyperviligant anymore. I sleep good and I do not have nightmares anymore. I am more able to ttrust and go with my gut instincts to take care of myself. I think we gain wisdom as we grow older. We have made the more serious mistakes with people and learned and grew anyway.

Unless we are in denial and never work on ourselves. I call that poor planning. What a shock at the end. I am just glad I belong to this forum. With all of the help and support here, I know I will be ok. I wish I had this forum many years ago. It would have saved me alot of agony with other people.

 

[CraftyCath]

unwilling to leave the post even when there's no army advancing and it is now a time of peace in my life.

Isn't it funny how our brain reacts so quickly to stress and trauma but takes so long to catch up with the good things; like it does not recognise that it should now be calm.

It is so use to the bad things that it no longer recognizes the good, nice things.

I think this is why I have so much trouble enjoying myself. My husband could ask me if I have had a good time but even though I have felt relaxed my brain is still on guard and I then tell him I'm not sure HOW to enjoy myself, or if I DID enjoy myself or if my idea of enjoyment is right or wrong.

I guess if I wasn't vigilant I might have a better sense of what enjoyment is but there is always something holding me back. I don't think I have explained that very well - it's so confusing.

 

[JustBe]

I think you explained it very well. I feel the same way.

 

[CraftyCath]

Glad someone does Movin'On, it scares me so much!

 

[BloomInWinter]

My gosh, here I am, back again. Though it's not as hyper, doesn't last as long, and I'm able to deal with it better.

My lips are cracked from the dry.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think of hypervigilance as being on guard. I think it is always at the back of my mind because I have very strong survival instincts. If something bad happens I am usually the first one in a group to react. I wonder where that comes from. I cannot connect it to a specific memory.

I am relaxed but I am always aware of my surroundings. I do not startle like I used to. I have experienced alot of healing of my symptoms over the years.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I am struggling with the vigilance once again. EMDR sessions sometimes stir up things and for the next several days, that guard is back on the wall trying to not let some new memory through.

Also, the dentist office leaves me dissociated and wrecked for days. I function fine in there, but am so exhausted and shaky for days after. It keeps getting better, but not fast enough for me.