Waking Up As Someone Else One Day...

[Changing4Best]

I woke up yesterday feeling like someone other than myself. (I am going through a med change, so this even raises the question of how much our meds alter our personalities). Anyway, I felt like I was going crazy, couldn't get centered, etc. I usually go out to dinner on that day of the week, so I did that anyway (though I had a bad feeling and thought I should not go, due to the weird way I was feeling, knowing that I was not being myself).

A long time friend sits next to me and proceeds to tell me all about her daughter who has been arrested, her grandson who was just accepted into the marines and then starts gossiping about other people in town. I got sick of the gossip after awhile, so I blurted out that I thought all of her conversation was a bunch of gossip and that I didn't want to listen to anymore of it. Of course she felt offended and got up and walked away after saying "Well!".

Today she unfriended me on Facebook, but wrote me a long email there beforehand, telling me how awful I am and that I gossip too, etc. etc.

I apologized through a mutual friend to her, siting that I had not been myself and had, had a headache, etc. I doubt I'll hear back from her, but maybe she won't go blathering to everyone else that we know about it all, causing a bunch of our mutual friends to abandon me. Maybe....

(Carefully pulling foot out of mouth).

 

[darrenS]

simply if there is no room in the friendship for mistakes , then its not worth keeping. I am also very careful with gossipers, because as soon as you turn your back , your the next target

 

[Recovery4Me]

Taking inventory of my participation within patterns, can result in an disruption or change. At times, I have felt the weight of soul searching -or- perhaps Higher Power - Holy Ghost intervention ;), thus blurted out unpleasant truths.:spitdummy: I normally feel aghast, not because of the authenticity but due to my often clumsy delivery & knee jerk timing.

I try to make amends to the other but I also try to take heed to what I offered as well in urgency. Sometimes the lessons are twofold and do actually involve me (as I was after all participating and am perfectly imperfect). Silence, at times is considered often to be the same as consent. Therefore, giving voice to something that is perceived as wrong to one's heart ...can be courageous and is often taking a risk to be authentic.

With both our ages being close to the same and having fundamentalist Christian ethos...perhaps you could smile as I am sure it is not the first time that you have spoken up. You appear to me, to be made of a fiery ball of passion and good intent.:hug: Putting the bridle on the tongue during gossip is part of the way, yes?

I am sorry for your pain. Perhaps your 'friend' will come around and hear your heart. Prayers and luv to you.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have other friends, and made arrangements to spend the day with my closest friend soon. That should solve my feelings to do with all of this incident. I don't have a lot of friends, so to lose one, no matter whose fault, hurts. I doubt she'll forgive me, as I have had to counsel her several times on forgiving others, and she has been anything but a willing student on that subject, so I am not encouraged.

On the other hand, some good points have been raised here too, in that gossipers are not to be trusted. The less they know about you, the better! I wonder if she'll think the next time she gossips, wondering if she should be doing that. I wonder.... (whether or not she ever forgives me).

 

[Recovery4Me]

I understand...:hug:. Prayers offered.

"Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings."
-- Jean de la Bruyere