Was my therapist now my best friend

[Optimistic Mess]

@Optimistic Mess I don’t think that thought is strange. I think we all have those t...

thank you. I hope you are able to sort out your situation in the best possible way for you / your mental health

 

[Arty-Pelican]

@NightSky I just don’t understand why it hasn’t happened with my new therapist or...

Because its not you, its not something about you, its about her, your T. I've read this whole thread and my blood is boiling. What your T has done is wrong, unethical, and frankly she sounds like she might be a bit of a narcissist. She has from a position of power, taken advantage of you, knowing exactly what she was doing. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, it shouldn't have. I wish you all the best trying to get through this. Be strong ( You know you are) Do what is right for you, and most importantly be kind to yourself. Ending an unbalanced, manipulative relationship can be hard, its like ending an addiction, but you've got this girl!!

 

[Bird33]

@Arty-Pelican Thank you. Sadly, I’m in deep. I doubt myself so I don’t take action. She recently told me that she thinks she has seasonal depression because between October to February she said she doesn’t want to see anyone and she is irritable. Now she is back to planning things with me. She wants to plan a vacation and activities for the spring. I do enjoy hanging with her I just don’t know if it is good for me.

 

[littleoc]

@Arty-Pelican Thank you. Sadly, I’m in deep. I doubt myself so I don’t take actio...

Tell your therapist this. Make boundaries. Don't wait a year like I did.

 

[Bird33]

@littleoc i will tell my therapist but other than talk about it what can she do. I see it. She’s pulling me back in. It’s back to the way it was before. I just don’t know how to stop it. Part of me likes the fact that she picked me and needs me. Do you understand? I know it’s sick but it’s just such a strong pull. I am attached to her.

 

[EveHarrington]

One moment at a time?

Big time distraction?

Out of town trip and whoops I forgot my cell phone?

You can do this. Treat it as a break-up. Change your phone number. Enlist the support of those around you.

 

[Bird33]

@EveHarrington So we hung out today and tonight she was texting me and told me she loves me. I need to hear that from her and I want to hear that from her. I have other people that say that to me but this is so much more. I don’t know. It just seems bigger than I can handle. It’s a strong need that I don’t understand. I was doing all the boundaries stuff and not answering my phone right away. Not going as soon as she calls but then I hear this and I am right back to square one. I don’t want to enlist support because it’s embarrassing. I am adult woman with 3 kids, a professional job and husband. I shouldn’t be doing this.

 

[EveHarrington]

....but you are being exploited by a therapist for her own personal gain.

So not your fault.

She can lose her entire career because of what she’s doing.

How about this.

Find a new therapist.

Tell the new therapist how you need help getting out.

You can get support without judgement.

 

[Bird33]

@EveHarrington i know I am being used for her gain but the feeling I seem to crave is somehow being fed by this. It just feels so out of my control.
I am seeing a new therapist and honestly I am frustrated but the amount of time we have spent on this. I started therapy to deal with the sexual abuse and abusive relationships of my past. Now I am trying to figure out this mess.
My therapist is great but honestly I worry about getting attached to her. I have not but I do worry about it. I worry about the boundaries there too. Just scary.

 

[littleoc]

Please talk to your therapist about this -- as you said, the therapist can't just pull you out, but your distorted thoughts are dangerously holding you in. I recognize them because I've had them myself.

I hope you can get to a place where you feel ready to move on, soon

 

[EveHarrington]

Is your new therapist guiding you on how to get out?

 

[Sweetleaf]

You can do this. Treat it as a break-up. Change your phone number. Enlist the support of those around you.

This. Initiate nuclear holocaust breakup procedure. All social media changed (with her blocked on all of them - or quit using social media), phone number changed, go all the f*cking way. No contact. No explanation. Cold turkey. Just *poof* out of her life. Do it, and then never look back. If she tries sending you any messages of any kind, don't listen to or read them, like if she tries through a 3rd party.

I understand that might be incredibly difficult to get yourself to do. I needed to be quite literally experiencing psychosis to do that stuff to my abuser. But, every time to talk to her, you're taking a risk of her manipulating you.