Poll We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve?

[Justmehere]

My therapist and I have been talking about (debating?) this concept. I'm curious as to what others think.

I think I maybe do accept the love I deserve - and it's very little. And maybe that needs to change.

 

[Ellabella44]

hmm hard to answer. I've felt I dont deserve any of it. trying to turn that around.

 

[Riot]

I agree with @Ellabella44, in that this one is a tough one to answer. I think that fear of rejection and abandonment really get in the way for me, personally. It's twofold though, in that it also seems undeserving. Being in survival mode for so long has made me forget what 'normal' is, I guess.

 

[Marie E.]

I think the love I receive is hard to come by via irrational fear. I find it hard to feel accepted after so much turmoil. I find it hard not to label it the c word - compassion. But I think I'm capable though I have not accepted it as radical acceptance via feeling.

I'm sorry but that's all I can elaborate. With time I might eventually accept it. We are all capable of being human beings.

 

[Snowflake]

Nope-don't trust it- a ploy to get hurt again.....

 

[EveHarrington]

I am able to accept God's love and I feel that I deserve his love.

I try to accept earthly love but find that most people outside of my family tell me that they love me for their own selfish reasons (including sex----two times in the last few weeks? No wonder I find "love" to be the end all and be all of manipulation tools.)

 

[Riot]

@EveHarrington, what do you mean? (If you care to elaborate.)

 

[ladee]

This was a hard question. I have started accepting love... I try my best to not put the word 'deserve' in it, as then I tend to turn that into a PTSD soap opera of characters that play their part in keeping me unhealthy.... all in my head of course...
Do I let it soak in and penetrate ?.... only two people in my life do I go that far with it.... but am trying to learn that not everyone has an agenda, that no one has the power to destroy me if they turn out to not be honest.... I have lived thru the worst part !!! So the worst that is going to happen is, I will get my feelings hurt, I won't die... I will be hurt. That's all... and I will move on at some point.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi @Riot

Can you say a bit more on what part you want me to elaborate on?

Thanks :)

 

[Friday]

I put yes & no.

- I don't believe I deserve love.
- I am delighted to find myself loved.
- I don't believe people love me... With very, very few exceptions... And am extremely uncomfortable (skittish / gun shy as hell) about being loved.

- I love very freely & with my entire heart.
- I guard my heart very carefully. <wry grin> Some wiley bastards still manage to sneak under the razor wire & past the dogs & armed guards, and burst full force exploding starlight into my life. Strong hands. Brave hearts. Grateful as hell for them. Worried as f*ck for them. Mad as blazes at them*. Pura Vida. Once someone has my heart? They're mine. They have all of me. My heart, my mind -such as it is-, my arm, & their back. That they're mine doesn't mean I own them. It means, in a very real way, they own me**.

- I attempt to dissuade people from loving me; in almost direct proportion to how much I love them -or- could love them (if I'm paying attention and realize it before I fall).


* Don't love me. Just don't.
** Never without my permission. I can, and have, walked away from someone I've loved. On more than one occasion. It hurts, but that's the price of love; pain.
...

So, yeah. It gets complicated. Yes & No.

 

[Riot]

@EveHarrington, the whole thing. :P

 

[EveHarrington]

@Riot

I don't know how but I'm able to fully accept Gods love-----probably because it's pure and undying; will always be there for me no matter what.

Humans are-----very human. I have never been able to accept human love because humans can and do lie out of selfish motivations. God has no reason to lie to me.