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Deleted member 26314
This isn't related to PTSD, just to clarify.
When I was younger I used to get a high temperature a lot, I'd go to sleep at about 7 or 8pm and wake up around 11pm and become delusional and hallucinate until 3 or 4am. I can remember a lot of it even though I was very young.. this occurred from the age of 5 until I was 7. And it'd happen 3 or 4 times a month.
It was scary for me and to this day, I get terrified of the thought. Anyway, my first question is did anyone else experience this as a child (delusions and hallucinations with high temperature, so often)? My second question is, if so, has it stayed with you?
What I mean by that is, it's been 10 years since I last had this happen, but I can still remember it vividly. It has also caused me to have a (phobia?) of thin poles, I cannot put my hand around a pole without feeling some kind of immense discomfort. It makes my whole body tense up and I often feel on the verge of a panic attack. Anything with a plain texture (the wood on my desk, a flat wall, even touching my own skin) makes me want to curl up and straight away I have to touch something else - like my teddy bear which has a rough, odd texture and it calms me down almost instantly.
I only experience this discomfort and almost panic attack state, when I am in a certain mood.. which I haven't figured out yet. It's kind of a mood where I am half dissociated and half not. I explained my experience with dissociating in someone else's thread, but basically I feel as though I have two consciences. When I am going into this state, I feel like my conscience (the one that is on the forefront of everything, controls talking and conscious actions) sinks into my inner conscience (the one that controls my thoughts and memories and feelings) and the two merge... some how. But I am still very much conscious and very much in the present but at the same time I feel else where and as though my mind isn't there..
A couple times over the last two months, I have experience similar hallucinations (as I did when I was younger) during the day when I am in one of these states. Almost as if my conscious (talking/actions) steps back and lets my inner conscience take control.. hence the hallucinations which don't happen frequently at all really. Just the odd time if I am tired or really emotional.
It's really hard to explain and it makes my head hurt trying to think about it.
Does anyone else experience a similar thing? It's not dissociation, or I don't think it is - I apologise if it is because then this is in the wrong forum. But someone else's thread sparked my own interest in my own experience with this and my childhood experience linking to this.
When I was younger I used to get a high temperature a lot, I'd go to sleep at about 7 or 8pm and wake up around 11pm and become delusional and hallucinate until 3 or 4am. I can remember a lot of it even though I was very young.. this occurred from the age of 5 until I was 7. And it'd happen 3 or 4 times a month.
It was scary for me and to this day, I get terrified of the thought. Anyway, my first question is did anyone else experience this as a child (delusions and hallucinations with high temperature, so often)? My second question is, if so, has it stayed with you?
What I mean by that is, it's been 10 years since I last had this happen, but I can still remember it vividly. It has also caused me to have a (phobia?) of thin poles, I cannot put my hand around a pole without feeling some kind of immense discomfort. It makes my whole body tense up and I often feel on the verge of a panic attack. Anything with a plain texture (the wood on my desk, a flat wall, even touching my own skin) makes me want to curl up and straight away I have to touch something else - like my teddy bear which has a rough, odd texture and it calms me down almost instantly.
I only experience this discomfort and almost panic attack state, when I am in a certain mood.. which I haven't figured out yet. It's kind of a mood where I am half dissociated and half not. I explained my experience with dissociating in someone else's thread, but basically I feel as though I have two consciences. When I am going into this state, I feel like my conscience (the one that is on the forefront of everything, controls talking and conscious actions) sinks into my inner conscience (the one that controls my thoughts and memories and feelings) and the two merge... some how. But I am still very much conscious and very much in the present but at the same time I feel else where and as though my mind isn't there..
A couple times over the last two months, I have experience similar hallucinations (as I did when I was younger) during the day when I am in one of these states. Almost as if my conscious (talking/actions) steps back and lets my inner conscience take control.. hence the hallucinations which don't happen frequently at all really. Just the odd time if I am tired or really emotional.
It's really hard to explain and it makes my head hurt trying to think about it.
Does anyone else experience a similar thing? It's not dissociation, or I don't think it is - I apologise if it is because then this is in the wrong forum. But someone else's thread sparked my own interest in my own experience with this and my childhood experience linking to this.
