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General What are they thinking?

I get both sides of this. Choosing to be a supporter.....also should have some boundaries.....and because you are a supporter.....it doesn't feel good to get trashed on by a sufferer.....but with that said, it is not controlled or intentional in most cases. Sometimes, leaving in my car, for a day was the only way I could get grounded, the only way I could find my breath, the only way I could make sense of things.....isolation is safe and my car, nature, ...and my camera...always a way to find my way back from an overwhelming situation....to a place I could think......Also, it was important not wanting anyone to know what I was going thru because it can be a crazy feeling in the moment......And at those times, I was not able to process my own feelings.....much less worry about emotional fall out.....or anyone else's feelings. In that moment, where life is overwhelming and trauma is doing it's dance in my head, or it feels unsafe or a reliving of the past, there were times that there was no room for a supporter.....there was no room for anyone else. How do you say this to a supporter.....you don't. You just leave. As things got better.....my ability to express my needs improved.....and then some friendship rules were kinda agreed upon.....will text where I am when I cool off......will let the person know I'm okay.
I'm fortunate, my friend.....doesn't take it personally and just gives me space when that's all she can do.....and now.....It got much better over time......
Thank you @TruthSeeker This really helps me at the moment.
 
Like others I want to thank you for doing more than someone without this trigger to support others. You deserve to be commended for this.

I really hope it gets a little easier for you with exposure , but I am sad you have to put yourself through it. You rock for your perseverance.
Yeah...the mask makes it really hard for me too-way too confining-borderline claustrophobic feeling, and because I'm very hard of hearing, it creates another issue-excessive stress in trying to comprehend what other people are saying.....I can't read their lips.....doctors and nurses get irritated in having to repeat themselves.
 
I like to compare it with wearing a bra. Wearing a bra is far more discomfortable then wearing a mask. At least for me. Yet, society expects us to wear one and do we hold anti-bra-rallies? No, we don’t.
Well, in the US, we held quite a lot of them.

The parallel between protesters burning their draft cards and women burning their bras were encouraged by organizers...The phrase became headline material and was quickly associated with women who chose to go braless. Feminism and "bra-burning" then became linked in popular culture.
The bra-burning trope echoed an earlier generation of feminists who called for burning corsets as a step toward liberation. In 1873 Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward wrote: "Burn up the corsets! ... No, nor do you save the whalebones, you will never need whalebones again. Make a bonfire of the cruel steels that have lorded it over your thorax and abdomens for so many years and heave a sigh of relief, for your emancipation I assure you, from this moment has begun."
(both from this article on the Miss America protest, US, 1968)

I'm just offering this as an example of how Americans often associate bodily autonomy with freedom. It's a thing here.
 
Thread starter #1,193
A note on ghosting.

I'm doing it right now.
I know I"m doing it, I can see it, I know it's probably not healthy, I know it's hard on my supporters.
But
I have zero desire to stop it.

I've shut down facebook, messenger, insta, all of it
I've blown off volunteering, meetings, plans with others
Thinking of how it affects those around me is just beyond me.
I know I should care
But nope.
I'm way to overwhelmed right now by my own drama

I think my supporters have been around long enough to figure it out
They know it's not about them
But I have a couple new friends that haven't seen it before
And I have no energy to explain it.
So I've just bailed
On pretty much everything

That's why they call it ghosting.
Here one minute
gone the next.

Just more fun filled ptsd crap.
 
A note on ghosting.

I'm doing it right now.
I know I"m doing it, I can see it, I know it's probably not healthy, I know it's hard on my supporters.
But
I have zero desire to stop it.

I've shut down facebook, messenger, insta, all of it
I've blown off volunteering, meetings, plans with others
Thinking of how it affects those around me is just beyond me.
I know I should care
But nope.
I'm way to overwhelmed right now by my own drama

I think my supporters have been around long enough to figure it out
They know it's not about them
But I have a couple new friends that haven't seen it before
And I have no energy to explain it.
So I've just bailed
On pretty much everything

That's why they call it ghosting.
Here one minute
gone the next.
Just more fun filled ptsd crap.
@Freida Sorry you aren't feeling it....You gave significant thought, energy, and time defending your own ghosting of supporters and friends in this thread....and had time and energy to explain why you ghosted people....you could have spent less energy sending a short text to friends/supporters who try to care about you saying you are taking a "me break", you are okay, just taking space for yourself. I get being so upset in a day from crisis or a drama, I don't contact my best friend and I usually hear about it...nicely. I don't understand ghosting long-term.......it is alienating..and only feeds into the PTSD isolation.....and for what it's worth.....being on the other end of ghosting creates worry or concern......and do it long enough.....might make supporters realize the relationship isn't both ways....
I don't like leaving anyone else on the end of my crazy train when I'm symptomatic....I just ask for space......
 
A note on ghosting.

I'm doing it right now.
Yep, me too!

And personally, a note to supporters is too much for me. I just have to go. To get out. I can't even formate thoughts to even say "I'm taking a break" or whatever. I just have to get out and do so without saying anything.

I suppose that's why most are gone. They couldn't handle that but thats how my brain functions.
 
Thread starter #1,197
ou could have spent less energy sending a short text to friends/supporters who try to care about you saying you are taking a "me break", you are okay, just taking space for yourself. I
This is kind of the point.
I can talk all about it -- when I'm not in the middle of it

But when it hits?
It hits hard and fast
And all the logic goes out the window
It's about saving me - not worrying about their feelings.
 
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