Livinginhope
Confident
Thank you @TruthSeeker This really helps me at the moment.I get both sides of this. Choosing to be a supporter.....also should have some boundaries.....and because you are a supporter.....it doesn't feel good to get trashed on by a sufferer.....but with that said, it is not controlled or intentional in most cases. Sometimes, leaving in my car, for a day was the only way I could get grounded, the only way I could find my breath, the only way I could make sense of things.....isolation is safe and my car, nature, ...and my camera...always a way to find my way back from an overwhelming situation....to a place I could think......Also, it was important not wanting anyone to know what I was going thru because it can be a crazy feeling in the moment......And at those times, I was not able to process my own feelings.....much less worry about emotional fall out.....or anyone else's feelings. In that moment, where life is overwhelming and trauma is doing it's dance in my head, or it feels unsafe or a reliving of the past, there were times that there was no room for a supporter.....there was no room for anyone else. How do you say this to a supporter.....you don't. You just leave. As things got better.....my ability to express my needs improved.....and then some friendship rules were kinda agreed upon.....will text where I am when I cool off......will let the person know I'm okay.
I'm fortunate, my friend.....doesn't take it personally and just gives me space when that's all she can do.....and now.....It got much better over time......