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Every time I get the slightest twinkle in my eye that I have a bit of hope, my ex and daughter, work together to shove me back down. I fear getting up, I fear staying down. Now I just fear......
I know it sounds horrible, but I am afraid of getting well, both physically and mentally. It's been so long since I've been well. Who will that person be, how will I be treated, there is just the whole unknown of it all. Doesn't mean I'm not going to try, just means I'm afraid.
I know exactly what you mean Britt. What will be expected? How will life be? Many unknowns!!!!
Its like the cliche-its better to love and lost-is it?
Once you know the difference, its really hard to accept the minimal in life. Feeling like I was dropped into a black hole overnight, if I ever see the light again, will I be dropped to the bottom again. The thought is more painful and fear invoking for me than being half way down the hole and maintaining.
Being trapped, smothering, heights, People especially in groups or small spaces or Crowded places. Not being in control of my choices. Unexpected Loud noises or voices...:eek: