I feel cheated, ripped-off, and angry. I need to process this anger so I can get to the feelings that lie beneath the anger, but I am not sure how to do that.
When I am not angry, I just feel sad, lonely, but mostly numb and empty. I am trying to process the loss of a relationship and the loss of a sibling, but I mostly feel anger and I think it is keeping me from fully grieving my loss.
My stomach feels a bit queasy. I'm trying to baby it, but it only feels slightly better for awhile. Then it slowly gets worse again. I suppose this too shall pass, but I sure wish it would do so quickly.
I feel ok. Relieved my daughter and I are ok (we had a hurtful exchange the other day).
A bit excited, my sister contacted me, wants our two sets of fams to meet (first time ever).
A bit tired and sore, my neck's a bit sore. It's time for bed.
My head is it's usual bit foggy, but, I'm used to that.
A bit shut down really. Today was tough, with screaming neighbors, and I'm a bit over how oppressive everything is, socially, politically, culturally. Not lovin' it.
But, if my sister is keen to meet, well, at least our family might get somewhere. It's hopeful.
Stable, determined, set to take some positive action, and move forward with things. I am still angry and sad, but at least I am maintaining. As my sister used to say, "the main thing is to maintain." hahaha I am hopeful.
Sad (for my sister)
Optimistic (about my life)
Grateful (for my husband)
Grateful (that my (former) therapist has volunteered to do EMDR with me free of charge)
Happy (that there is a shower in the other room)
Glad (that I built a roof AND that I am done building a roof)
Proud (of my husband for being a rockstar - I love that guy)