I was feeling shaky, fearful and grumpy this morning due to a severe charlie horse in my calf this morning before waking and then waking with my mouth moving uncontrollably in a way for which I cannot well explain. I'll try: it was like if I had been going to speak I wouldn't have been able to because my mouth and lips were convulsing as I was waking up.
This afternoon I was feeling lost, scared and determined, ...determined to accomplish something necessarily constructive and yet sit for a little while as well with my daughter.
Earlier this evening I was feeling lost, dazed, hurt and alone. And, indeed I was lost, dazed, hurting and pretty much withdrawing, effectively removing myself and making myself alone. I had tried before this to discuss something with my husband, but he was anxious and not in the mood to listen nor to talk.
At this hour and for some hours, I haven't felt lots. Mostly I felt numb as a protective measure to avoid feeling angry, and to protect myself from much hurt, fears, feelings of betrayal and injustice and sadness and fear, ...all wanting to pass through me.