What Are You Good At? Good Qualities Of Ptsd Sufferers

[Justpassintime]

Do you have anything you can share on how you make more long term or deeper connections? I struggle with this.

This is a tough one - but I think it has to do with the fact that people just sort of fall into categories. I have been very "light" friends with folks who believe I am their best friend. this defies understanding on my part. The only aspect of this scenario that is difficult to manage is their intensity since it doesn't really go both ways.

I have had some very intimate connections with friends, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. These are dicey because anytime you reach that level there is risk - risk of rejection, hurt, etc and then there's a sense of responsibility as well. I think a big part of the risk is people who are like minded tend to be drawn to one another. I had a very intense friendship with someone who was damaged by similiar but less severe life experiences. In the end, her inability to connect with others caused that friendship to end. She found or invented a reason to cut me out of her life abruptly and permanently. I was pretty shocked at first and more angry then hurt. Then I told her the ball was in her court and left it at that. Six months later I realized I had no interest in that game and walked off the court (so to speak).

I also have friends who love me ridiculously, faults oddities and all and vice verse. We have an awesome time together and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

I think the ability to do this rests on several things - you have to deal with any abandonment issues you may have. This fear will cause you to have such high standards, no one can meet them. I think you also have to come to terms that nothing is forever, people die, they move, and sometimes people just drift apart it happens so enjoy what you have while you have and embrace it as an opportunity to learn.

And as far as guidelines on who to trust? When you can say to someone, yea, I am having a bad mental health day and they are cool with it, Yes, that would be a keeper.

On a different note, the evil thing? I have to disagree. If you have ever looked into the eyes of someone who is truly evil, you would know exactly what evil is.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Empathy is my biggest one. I'm the kind of person that people talk to in waiting rooms, grocery lines, and other public places. The empathy really helps in nursing. I am also a good problem solver. I am also aware of any danger, anywhere, so we all can feel safe when I'm around, lol.

 

[sabster]

I am good at my studies. Because of recent lack of self confidence I barely speak in class. But when I do, you better know it's going to be relevant as heck. I am good at understanding why people behave a certain way (more when they act backwards and evil). I make people laugh saying random stupid things (the things that leave people saying omg you're too stupid), I can be of great help and empathy for those I love and care, I am harshly realistic, I'm humble, nice and when things get rough I'm not all over the place, I stay collected (probably too much).

 

[jbrowning]

Well, I try to spend two to four hours out of 24 alone.

The recharge alone time is something that I know I need. Are there any ways to reduce the recharge time? Maybe it has something to do with not focusing so heavily on the other people in the interaction and being more comfortable with myself?

I think the ability to do this rests on several things - you have to deal with any abandonment issues you may have. This fear will cause you to have such high standards, no one can meet them. I think you also have to come to terms that nothing is forever, people die, they move, and sometimes people just drift apart it happens so enjoy what you have while you have and embrace it as an opportunity to learn.

Why does the fear of abandonment cause people to have such high standards? Is it because we're always looking for the leading indicators of being hurt? I really struggle with the standards I have for myself, my wife, and my friends. Maybe your last sentence touches on it in that I need to accept the positive while deprioritizing the negative?

Thank you both for the well thought out help!

 

[Justpassintime]

Alone time varies from person to person. I have a huge personal space bubble in regard to time - but I was ALWAYS alone growing up - my spouse needs almost none because he comes from a large family where privacy was minimal. I think you can balance it out - when I was raising kids and working, my time was when everyone went to bed. It could be your lunch hour and an hour at night or get up an hour earlier. You don't have to sacrifice time with others to have alone time, you just have to get a bit creative about it :D

If your standards are high it's like a self fulfilling prophecy - no one meeting them = no hurt, no rejection., and no risk.

 

[Miss_Understood]

I'm good at reading peoples true feelings. I can spot a liar or a faker from a mile away.

I'm also good at hiding my true feelings when it isn't the time to be emotional.

I am good under pressure or in times of danger I can come up with a plan.

 

[Justpassintime]

So really, if there is a zombie Apocalypse we are the folks you want to be with. Hooray!

 

[rightkindofme]

I wake up between 3 and 5:30 so I can be alone until 6:30. It is awesome.

I don't know how to minimize the time amount. I need it even when I am only hanging out with my kids in the house all day.

 

[Chincho]

I'm good at reading people. I can sense what they are feeling and if they are lying.

I can make people laugh and feel confortable.

I can write pretty well, which is good because I want to write a book someday.

I can hide my feelings so everybody thinks I'm doing great, and I'm the funniest lady in the block. I guess that makes me a great liar, too!

 

[Deleted member 27340]

I'm really good at writing short stories and reading other people.

My short stories have won contests and one of them will probably be made into a short film this winter, if I want it to. I've got only 6's in Norwegian and can probably make decent literature in English as well, if I get in "the flow".

I've freaked people out by saying "I know" when they tell something about themselves and then proceed to explain how I noticed it and why it doesn't matter to me, because I've gone through so much myself I can relate to pretty much everything but being heartbroken after a tough break up.

Also I learn really fast and when it comes to academic material I remember very well. I've developed great cognitive thinking skills, and about half the puzzle is usally enough for me to figure out the rest -- if the puzzle is academical.

I'm good at the piano and drawing, and intelligent. I've improved my singing skills a lot since I started, even though I've been too afraid to practise at home.


Okay, wow. I've never realised before now that there ARE really things I'm good at.

 

[Heather]

I can type. Only worthwhile thing I got out of highschool.