I am thankful that I could relax enough to stretch out (literally) in bed.
I am thankful I've realized I've lived with a feeling of 'terror' for at least 3 years straight, and it's been a major cause of feeling I have to run away. I am thankful people have forgiven +/or overlooked my fearful responses and perceptions.
I am thankful I heard the word 'overwhelming' yesterday and for the 1st time in as long as I can remember didn't feel that I myself was entirely-overwhelmed, but just felt empathy for those who 'are' where I 'was'.
I feel thankful the 'thought' actually came to my mind that maybe I can be happy again?
I am thankful for being trusted.
I am thankful for having being able to pull forth or be given the energy to get through what I need to. Not everything, and not as I wish, but very critical parts when it seemed impossible.
I am thankful I can look forward to Easter for the 1st time in 3 years, and about the 3rd time in 28 years ('really'). I have 5 'anniversaries' within 2 weeks, and the 'stars collided' this year to make them the 'original days' (sequence) that they were then. I am thankful of what Anthony wrote about 'Anniversaries', that they 'aren't', really. I am thankful I feel I am able to be more 'present' and able to think about it differently. I am thankful for people who have tried/ try to make it a happy time for me. I am thankful for what they overlook when it wouldn't/ doesn't make any sense.
I am thankful for being able to remember some of how I felt 'back then', what I thought and felt, and (therefore) what actions followed. I am thankful for 'reminders' that 'shock' even me.
I am thankful to realize that it's likely what I'm using OTC for pain management is making me sick, physically, I'm way over the maximum dose (x2-x3)/ day. I'm thankful to realize I've been lucky I haven't accidentally OD'd and I have to change my behaviour, and that starts with how I feel.
I'm thankful it's ok to write such a terribly long post (sorry!) as I would never have the courage or feel it's my 'right' to say all these things.
I am thankful for sweetness, and goodness, and gentleness, and spring, am hoping to get back into 'heavy duty flower management' :inlove: for the 1st time in 5 years, I'm looking forward to being outside. I'm thankful for warmth.
I am going to try to be more 'open' now that I realize terror was behind most/ much of how I felt.
I'm going to try to 'trust'.
I am thankful I can let myself (or 'be', because that seems to be 'how' I feel or 'what' I am, at the moment) vulnerable without feeling intense fear of being destroyed in the process.
I am thankful for a decrease in the feeling of doom and severe dread/ (the axe-is-going-to-fall) that accompanies April/ May.
I am thankful for God, sweet/ dear people, and being around for 'today'.
