What Are You Thinking?

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking that I have lived at my daughters house for six months now. I cannot believe it has been that long. I am so happy being here. This is a happy, loving home.

 

[goingonhope]

I'm thinking about all the sleep I lost this evening/morning, as I pulled an all-nighter due to my apparent lack of common sense and feelings of generalized worries, fears and dread.

Maybe generalized is not the correct word, maybe it is, but certainly great worry, fears and unapproachable dread. The powerless and unmanageable parts of life appear out of nowhere and mount and are like ghosts, monsters and/or feel like curses.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking that after all of the years of hell and anguish, my life is so very good now. I cannot comprehend how very blessed I am and I am so glad I started therapy in 1985 and it has been such a long and painful journey to get to where I am today,

I get along so well with my daughter and my granddaughters too.

I hoped there would be a future and a hope for me and now I know it is possible. I went through so many years of hell.

I know I could have a relapse but I have never been this happy in my life before.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

That today is a good day to take a nap.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think I want to move far away from here to world that is less controlled by consumerism. A world where I can live happily on a lot less, as simply put, I have a lot less. If I try to survive where I am on what I am, I would be lucky to barely be off the streets. This isn't living, this would be barely surviving. I have a plan, and I have an idea of what I want to do and where I want to go. I think of it this way. If this damn monster hadn't hit, I would have all of those opportunities available to me which everyone else has, but sadly I don't. I am at the point of needing to reinvent the plan, because even starting at this late in the game is simply not an option. Reinvention off of the beaten path is the only way I am going to make it though.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking that today I will take it easy and get ready for tomorrow. I am thinking that I hope my feet do not swell up as we are staying till Disneyland closes.

 

[Britt.f7]

I am thinking that I wish my son (18) would talk to me about college. He has decided to appeal to one college, who suggested it, and so did his counselor. I could help him with the letter. He is also going to try and get in other colleges that have a football team. I could help him with the writing of those letters too, by giving him ideas. Unfortunately, he only looks at my talking about it as pressure and nagging. Instead of thinking that I have his best interests at heart and just want to help. He is procrastinating big time, I get that because I do it. Just hard to watch your children take chances that may effect their life.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking how fragile we all are. I speak in shorthand, probably due to the fact that it is a habit of survival I learned in childhood and I need to work and practice in my communication skills.

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm thinking my son worked really hard to get his grades up and get the credits he needed to graduate, only to let his grades slip this last trimester. I hope he doesn't sabotage himself like I've done so many times to myself because he is unsure of himself or his future. Especially since the college is allowing him to appeal their decision to let him in. They are actually encouraging him to do so. Grant me patience. It will not help to increase his anxiety or mine. I don't want him shutting completely down.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I'm thinking my hypervigilance is getting worse and is borderlining paranoia. And, ironically, that scares me.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I think I think too much and sometimes that's a problem.

 

[y5L]

I am thinking that I need to stop being so hard on myself.

I've been feeling useless and unproductive the past couple of days because I'm really sick. I hate not being able to go to work, but even when I was there Tuesday I couldn't really to anything so I was still "useless."

I figured that at the very least taking a sick day would give me the chance to journal, read forum posts, do some real work toward recovery. Then I'd still have accomplished something. But despite trying several times, I couldn't focus on anything.

Then it hit me. If mental/emotional recovery is productive, so is physical recovery. I don't need to do anything more than take care of my body today. Or tomorrow. If I get a chance to practice some new skills, do some research, or dig into some unresolved issues, then that's a cool bonus. Resting and letting my body recover is more than enough progress for today.