What Are Your Triggers?

[Rivergirl]

Dylan I think I share all the five triggers that you name, although I manage the first four *okay*, but just okay. They're still there and I still experience some level of fear, but I think that when I was kicked out by my parents I made a promise to myself to always be willing to walk away from something if it was costing me too much. So when I run into those situations (which for me are about "never being good enough"----a constant theme in my childhood) I think What's the worst that can happen? I'll friggin quit right here on the spot and never see these people again. (Although not so easy if you've been at a job a long time).
The fifth---overwhelming stimulus without a break----WOW am I glad you brought that up. That really stresses me out. Just ongoing noise, or being in a mall for too long, or in a bunch of people for too long.....
Someone said something in a group I attended once that made perfect sense to me and really helped me not feel so bad about needing so much private, quiet time. I used to really beat myself up for it, told myself I was too isolated (well, maybe I am) but this made me feel better:
She said "Some people recharge by being around other people and like to have lots going on, and some people recharge by getting away from other people and being quiet for awhile." I realized that when I was a kid I found some sanity by retreating into my own little world of books, or playing in the fields and ravines around our house by myself. (It was the 60's so luckily I did that and was still safe! Less chance of that now.) I really do have a low tolerance for stimulus (stimuli??) :wink: and start to unravel unless I can get away from things and be alone for awhile.

Thanks for making me think.....
Rivergirl

 

[shiraz]

I don't know all my triggers yet ... but here are a few:

- woman being provocative - nudity in woman - pornography, x-rated magazines, anything vaguely sexual in movies. billboards that display erotic images, belly dancers and any provocative dancing .... basically anything sexual related to woman.

- People who display unpredictable behaviours such as when under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

- Displays of anger, even when not focused on me.

-Being manipulated, or sometimes just the fear of being manipulated - forced against my will to do something I don't want to do ... even small insignificant things.

- criticism about my competency, even small things like making the dinner, buying the correct toaster, getting the right birthday card.

When I am already triggered then over stimulation becomes an issue, I need to be away from stimuli for a while, preferably in a dark small space - as I used to hide in cupboards to get away from things when I was a kid.

I think that is all ... oh my, I hope that is all!

 

[redtriskell]

Too many to count...
the smell of bleach and/or the ocean
the taste of blood in my mouth
anything related to torture
my hair getting too long
tons of different food items
medication, even if I need it
smell of someone who was drunk last night
smell of bourbon
animal abuse
certain kinds of light- the way sunlight changes
blue sheets
bologna
men who move like cats
facial hair- the handlebar mustache, in particular
cowboy boots
shotgun bars
baseball parks
windsong- that cheapie perfume from the 70's
Jimmy Buffet
Steppenwolf
anything military or militaristic
and that's enough for now, lest I go crazy red

 

[kmm]

I share some of the ones already mentioned:

-overwhelming stimuli, especially for extended periods
-screaming
-periods, hormones
-pelvic exams/OBGYNS
-feeling sick to my stomach, having really bad abdominal cramping, feeling
dizzy or lightheaded
- having to depend on "experts", especially those in medical field, for my well
being.....
-ambulances, sirens
-hospitals - especially the smell, the ceiling, & the sliding doors or signs that
say "surgery", men in scrubs - especially ones with certain build
-childbirth videos/shows
-

 

[Seychelle]

I'm not sure I've found much yet that isn't a trigger for me. As far as I can tell, pretty much everything is a trigger of some sort for me. I have something like 50 to 100 different traumatic memories so far (lost count, each with multiple triggers per memory), plus a continuous back drop of fear and emotional control all the way through childhood full of double-binds. Pretty much everything became contaminated and tainted for me.

The double-binds are the worst because both extremes of something are triggering plus all the shades of grey in between are triggering and there's no escape from it. Plus the double-bind triggers are much harder for me to desensitise from (compared to the triggers that are just from a specific trauma memory - MUCH easier to deal with).

These are some of my triggers related to particular trauma memories (many of these I've since desensitised from, at least to some extent):

Anyone sneezing or coughing

Going to bed and turning out the light

My OH getting up in the middle of the night, or rolling over, or moving in bed.

Me wearing lipstick

Wearing clothes that are constricting around the neck, eg turtleneck jumpers or tight necklaces

Having my period (combination of both the cramps and the blood)

Anyone inflicting pain on me (eg having blood tests or injections)

Pain of any sort

Washing the dishes

Food (eating, cooking, being hungry, eating too much, eating too little etc)

Washing machine

Shopping for food

The sound of anyone breathing

Focusing on my breathing (eg those grounding exercises)

Paying attention to the world around me

Having a shower or a bath

Going to the toilet

Anyone who is angry, especially if it's directed at me

Violence or blood (eg on TV)

Discussions or TV shows about sex, abuse, sexual assault, death, violence, crimes

Sex

Young babies

Children

The sound of babies or children crying or screaming

Buying shoes and clothes

Travel (eg if I have to travel for work, or if I go on holidays)

Christmas

My birthday

Loud noise

Bass (music bass, I mean)

Men who have deep voices

Women who have short hair and dress androgynously

People being emotional

Jazz and classical music

People walking behind me

Movement in my peripheral vision

Not being able to hear what someone is saying, or me being asked to speak louder

My cat demanding attention or doing things she's not supposed to (like scratching the furniture)

Plus lots more that I can't remember at this point in time. The triggers to do with the double-binds and emotional control are too hard to write about today. Maybe I'll come back to this thread and write about those later.

 

[Seychelle]

I remembered more of my triggers for traumatic memories (and I worked out one thing that isn't a trigger - me smoking cigarettes):

Sport and exercise (watching and doing)

Hiking in the bush, or being somewhere where there are no other people around

Driving on dirt roads (I've almost completely desensitised from this one, woot!)

Scared of the dark

Blood in real life (on TV, it's not too bad)

Being too hot or too cold

Cooking dinner for friends

Spending money (on anything - I've mostly desensitised from this, but sometimes buying non-essential things for myself like clothes or hair products triggers severe anxiety, so it's not completely gone)

Having friends/not having friends (this is one of those double-bind triggers I mentioned in my last post)

Nudity

A particular local shopping centre (terrified I might run into a particular person there - unfortunately not an irrational fear, because I have seen him there a couple of times and this person is still not a safe person to be around)

Mother's Day and Father's Day (UGH)

Conversations about families and parents

My parents

Photos of my family and relatives. Photos of my OHs family and relatives.

Being touched without being asked

There is a heap more. I'm finding some benefit in writing them down. It's helping with forgiving myself for becoming so unwell a few years back. I didn't know any of this then and it was all untreated and all buried. No wonder I wasn't coping being surrounded by triggers everywhere and being in denial about it all. I'm also finding it helpful to write them because some of these used to be severe triggers but now they just cause me some mild anxiety/apprehension. So... there has been progress.

 

[tude]

Arrghh, just thinking about what triggers me is a little anxiety provoking. But here goes anyway...

-Baby dolls or reference to them. Rarely do I have to deal with this one.

-Roadside memorials or signs that look like roadside memorials. This one has been unavoidable. Only rarely, on bad days do they even bother me anymore.

Now this list getting difficult...

-Hearing hysterical grieving and crying, conversations about pediatric deaths, CPR, the smell of death, seeing the absence of color in dead body, feeling the crepitus of broken bones, the palm of my hand on my chest... couldn't even do the EFT tapping thing near my chest.

-writing this list

 

[Rivergirl]

These replies are all very interesting for me. I'm just kind of discovering the whole concept of triggers. Before this I didn't think in such specifics, but just thought I was generally very cranky and impatient and sometimes anxious without any reason. Now I'm linking these feelings to some specific things.

I think I have two kinds of triggers: ones that are connected to my trauma and ones that are things I was always angry about before.

Trauma (my last job and my childhood, which my last job mirrored which is spooky). Some of the triggers related to these are unfairness or unprofessionalism, people criticising me behind my back but never to my face where I could address it, and being overwhelmed with way too much stuff to do. Another one is the drunks next door yelling at each other and at their three-year-old little boy. Yelling and arguing like that takes me right back to my mother's constant blame and all the yelling in our house (although there wasn't the drinking).

The other kind of trigger is just the same old stuff that used to make me angry. But now that I have such a short fuse I get REALLY angry, and have even engaged in arguments with people. Whereas before I would have thought "well this person is a jerk" or "we're not going to agree on this one", now I feel that I can almost get close to being in a physical fight with someone, I feel so angry and that I have already lost so much, what's the point of behaving at all? And I think it's also about needing to win or needing to not feel that someone is walking all over me (?)....hmmmm, hard to admit this one and I think I need to look at it some more.

Anyway some of those triggers that make me so angry I can hardly hold it in (and don't always) and are very stressful are animal mistreatment (including tying up dogs in the yard 24 / 7, which lots of people in my neighbourhood do. I also snap at my own dogs and cats on bad days and feel really worthless for this---they don't deserve it.) The environmental crisis really stresses me out. My biggest source of comfort has always been being in nature, and now that it is threatened I find it so stressful that I can barely let myself think about it. I actually give the finger to strangers that I see in traffic driving Hummers! And the worry over money, which I've never been good with, is another thing I can hardly let in. And housework, which I used to be pretty bad at, is now unbelieveably bad and I'm so glad that no one from the health department has a clue what my house is like inside! :eek: The thought of doing it makes me feel totally overwhelmed and I shut down fast.

Arrrrgh, now I am feeling anxious writing all these down so I will leave it for now.

Rivergirl

 

[jillspeedy]

Getting calls late at night that I am not expecting. I also trigger when I see people that remind me of the person that caused the trauma that resulted in me developing PTSD.

 

[sirsir]

Ok let me try and list some of my triggers.

Loud noises, being touched by someone I do not know, being around large groups of people, being touch while I'm sleeping.

Well I gave it a shot. My PTSD comes from a War. For years I was able to surpress it however now I am finally able to seek treatment for it.

 

[Irton Pike]

car crashes.
Seeing people driving badly
seeing people driving too fast.
being shouted at by my ex boss for forgetting things.
Overworking
pretty much anything to do with my ex boss. Grade A.
Seeing people hit their kids

 

[linasmom]

I still haven't figured out all of my triggers, but here a few that I'm certain of:

loud noises in confined areas
confined areas
crowds
having someone yell at me - or any sort of perceived attack against me be it verbally or physically, this one is complex in that many things fall under this category like: reckless drivers, supervisory power trips, if anyone in the house raises their voice at me I go into rage mode.
mother figures - my mother-in-law
religious fundamentalists

There's more, but gosh, they are really hard to describe because they are random - something or someone may do something that triggers me but I may not be triggered by that same thing if were done by something or someone else.


Now that I say that: I'm triggered by certain people and people are my biggest triggers. There is a certain "type" of person that triggers me, but I don't think I can list what those characteristics are just yet because I haven't figured them out in a way that would make sense.