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General What Can I Expect Now?
- Post starter 70Times7
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- Post starter
- #14
Praise God! She just came by the house and actually spent time alone with me in the house. That is a major step forward and an answer to prayer. There was some venting on her part, but I think the door is open now for more healing.
You deserve some of the credit as I wrote her a heart message as a part of a "business" email this morning after reading your replies. I know from the tone of her response that it reached her. There is a long way to go, but I can live with baby steps compared to being totally shut out. Thank you very much for saying what I so needed to hear.
I will process and work through my guilt knowing that it is much harder for her.
You deserve some of the credit as I wrote her a heart message as a part of a "business" email this morning after reading your replies. I know from the tone of her response that it reached her. There is a long way to go, but I can live with baby steps compared to being totally shut out. Thank you very much for saying what I so needed to hear.
I will process and work through my guilt knowing that it is much harder for her.
amethist
VIP Member
Baby steps is sometimes all we can hang onto.
Seeing them making them shows that they are trying to do what's right.
I hope they continue and you can make more progress in time.
Seeing them making them shows that they are trying to do what's right.
I hope they continue and you can make more progress in time.
Changing4Best
VIP Member
I'm a sufferer, was married 23 yrs and then my dear hubby passed away. During our marriage I had an affair, later realized my mistke, quit it and asked forgiveness which was given. My husband died loving me. I miss him so.
I am 58 now and my PTSD was not diagnosed until I was in my mid 40s. It's been a long hard road being treated for it, and I am still under treatment. Meds and therapy... The affair happened shortly after my PTSD diagnosis, an important point I think. I don't know what it would have done to me, if my hubby had been the one to have the affair instead. It is hard to say!
I do understand, especially after a hospital stay, that one can be in a very RAW state emotionally. One feels the need to protect oneself, I did anyway, so I can relate to your wife's needing some distance right now. There were times that I was unable to speak too, I used hand signals with hubby even, as words just did not suffice! I have no way to explain it, but it does happen.
I was molested as a child by a grandfather, so I can relate to that trauma causing all these kinds of thing in your wife. I'd suggest that you let her know you love her, let her know you joined this site and want to support her in any way you can and allow her, her distance for now. Do let her know that you want her in your life, but you are willing to wait. She needs to know these things.
And may God be with you both.
I am 58 now and my PTSD was not diagnosed until I was in my mid 40s. It's been a long hard road being treated for it, and I am still under treatment. Meds and therapy... The affair happened shortly after my PTSD diagnosis, an important point I think. I don't know what it would have done to me, if my hubby had been the one to have the affair instead. It is hard to say!
I do understand, especially after a hospital stay, that one can be in a very RAW state emotionally. One feels the need to protect oneself, I did anyway, so I can relate to your wife's needing some distance right now. There were times that I was unable to speak too, I used hand signals with hubby even, as words just did not suffice! I have no way to explain it, but it does happen.
I was molested as a child by a grandfather, so I can relate to that trauma causing all these kinds of thing in your wife. I'd suggest that you let her know you love her, let her know you joined this site and want to support her in any way you can and allow her, her distance for now. Do let her know that you want her in your life, but you are willing to wait. She needs to know these things.
And may God be with you both.
- Post starter
- #18
Sheila, I missed your reply until now. Sorry for the delay in responding.
Thank you for your perspective of a sufferer. Every little bit of perspective helps me as substantial communication with my wife is difficult now as it usually triggers panic in my wife making her want to flee. I can be around her now without her feeling threatened and as long as the topics are "light" you would never know that there was any issue with our relationship. If I cross the line into an uncomfortable topic, her distrust comes to the surface and I seem to be talking with a completely different person.
She talked to me about her hospital stay for the first time over the weekend. Five weeks after her release, she seems to still be coming to terms with the reasons why she was hospitalized and is still upset about the way that the hospitilization came about after she renegged on her agreement to be admitted.
Over the weekend, I did of the things you suggested.had somehow convinced herself that I wanted to divorce her even though she was the one who moved out. I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, that I would never abandon her or walk away like her Dad did. I had stopped tleeing her I loved her because I did not want her to feel pressured, but this weekend I started telling her that I love her again because I don't want there to be any doubt in her mind that I do.
The one good thing that I can be sure of out of this trial, is that my relationship with God has been strengthened. I know I can trust Him to see us both through this. I know that He is with us.
Thank you again for sharing your experience.
Thank you for your perspective of a sufferer. Every little bit of perspective helps me as substantial communication with my wife is difficult now as it usually triggers panic in my wife making her want to flee. I can be around her now without her feeling threatened and as long as the topics are "light" you would never know that there was any issue with our relationship. If I cross the line into an uncomfortable topic, her distrust comes to the surface and I seem to be talking with a completely different person.
She talked to me about her hospital stay for the first time over the weekend. Five weeks after her release, she seems to still be coming to terms with the reasons why she was hospitalized and is still upset about the way that the hospitilization came about after she renegged on her agreement to be admitted.
Over the weekend, I did of the things you suggested.had somehow convinced herself that I wanted to divorce her even though she was the one who moved out. I told her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, that I would never abandon her or walk away like her Dad did. I had stopped tleeing her I loved her because I did not want her to feel pressured, but this weekend I started telling her that I love her again because I don't want there to be any doubt in her mind that I do.
The one good thing that I can be sure of out of this trial, is that my relationship with God has been strengthened. I know I can trust Him to see us both through this. I know that He is with us.
Thank you again for sharing your experience.
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