What Do You Do When Family Is In Denial Of Your Condition?

[margo]

I just got cussed out by a sibling I love and adore and was told I love the drama and I couldn't live without the drama. If my source of my condition would die, then I would find a way to continue to make drama because I love it.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm so sorry. That's a tough one. My family believes me, but I know this illness causes a lot of drama.

 

[margo]

I posted this in the wrong General Discussion, I apologize!!! Very sorry :(

 

[Abstract]

Hi Margo,
Just click on the "report this post" and let the mods know and they will move it for you. If you report your own post then you don't get into trouble! ;)

Sorry you are struggling with your sibling. Is your sibling often problematic and are you able to set boundaries in your relationship? What do you think they are referring to when they say what they did?

 

[Nicolette]

I posted this in the wrong General Discussion

I'll move it for you :)

 

[margo]

Thank you. I still could not find the way to delete it.

 

[TLight]

I spent wasted years trying to have relationships with my family who made me the bad guy and constantly judged and berated me. Understanding wasn't even in their vocabulary because they were raised by the same abuser I had.

I finally had to let them go and go through the mourning of being alone on the planet.
Best thing I ever did,but also the hardest.

 

[new gamma rays]

I don't think my family will ever get my PTSD, especially as I consider it most of it my moms fault.

I spend plenty of time ranting by text message to my sisters, but they're more concerned about helping me thinking about whats next, and I don't know what's next. I feel disconnected from every one.

My sisters say they love me and I don't even know what that feels like, all I have in my head is the powerlessness and rage over my most recent trauma (being taken to an ER by force by paramedics and going back through the same involuntary psych system that I was essentially dismissed from once I got there).

I doubt my family will understand. They've grown up with the memory of when I had sudden onset OCD when I was 11 and my behavior was very erratic, but my PTSD is completely different from that. My dad just tells me to be calm and forgive. There's no discussion of right or wrong, to my family its just something that has happened that I keep holding onto, but I'm still in a group home to this day because of what happened.

I don't know, it sounds like your sister has prior issues with you and there might be elements of past sibling rivalry issues there. But I could just be interjecting. Is there anyone outside enough of your nuclear family you could talk to about it. i haven't really gone there either, but I think it might help to show someone slightly more grounded this whole thread:

(well apparently this boards stupid rules prevents me from linking to the whole: things not to say to a person with PTSD thread that is also on this page)

Maybe that's not the best idea either. I guess the hardest part is realizing its not just your family in particular
but probably most people in general.

 

[Innordinate]

My family isn't in denial about the fact that I have PTSD or ADHD, but they still tell me I'm manipulative and lazy. They're in denial of certain symptoms, I guess you could say, and certain behaviors that I have or things I feel I need to do to not feel like crap constantly.

I just talk it out with my T, to see if she thinks I am being a jerk for any given situation - because I really can't tell myself. But I don't just trust, anymore, that I am being a jackass because certain family members say I am, though I know I have been at times. I try to just not bring up 'issues' with people who aren't supportive and I've learned to (mostly) shrug off most negative comments. Still gets to me at times though, makes my depression worse most times too. Really hard to stay motivated and in control when people put you down all the time. I've learned to basically write off my dads criticism in the moment, but I tend to constantly come back to it over and over again after, in my mind.

I can usually trust my wifes assessment at any given situation, but she's seen more symptoms (flashbacks and dissociation) than anyone else has. She doesn't understand completely, but she gets it and tries to be supportive, as much as she can, in the ways that she can.

 

[Shellbell]

Sadly there are many people who think PTSD is a choice and don't understand why we can't just 'let it go'. They think we are deliberately hanging onto the past and don't understand the severity of PTSD, or the fact that it is an injury to the brain.

When these people are our family and closest friends it hurts the most. I'm sorry your sibling doesn't understand and feels the need to say that to you.

I am learning to live with people not understanding and trying to ignore their inappropriate, hurtful, invalidating comments and behaviours.

 

[margo]

Thanks so much for your time and words! I will be seeing my sister today and thought I should check and see if anyone else responded.

First, to not be alone with this is encouragement enough. The support shown here is uplifting. Thank you all again.

I don't know what to say to her. We work together. I figure I will avoid her for the most part but be pleasant because our brother is our boss and he has been very supportive of me but he hates conflict.

Thanks again!
Margo

 

[MissMacD]

People who do not have PTSD can have a really hard time understanding something they cannot see.

I am the one that has PTSD and my boyfriend has a really hard time understanding it so I started explaining what I do at therapy so that he can understand a little more how my brain works. We have had our share of blow outs about my trauma and how it has disabled me from moving forward in my life and has most recently prevented me from working.

The amount of time and energy my trauma robs me of can make the people around me feel neglected and it is really important for them to understand they aren't doing something wrong but that I cannot physically meet their needs so we find other ways to communicate during those times.