What Do You Talk About?

[FindingMyself88]

and even those (like what have you been doing etc) can be a challenge

I can so relate to this. For me the above quote ^^ is the worst! VERY few (like 9 people, 6 family members aside all of you here) know about my suicide attempt and only 3 people aside from you here know about me being raped this past November. Due to what happened in November and issues from head injury I haven't been able to work or go to school. I blame it on the head injury. I HATE when people ask what I've been up to, because I instantly feel like a failure. I don't know how to respond. For some reason "Um just struggling to keep from feeling hopeless and training Bristol to help me with this." doesn't seem appropriate to me.

I am trying to force myself to get back into church. It's where I use to feel safe. But it was SOO hard to go last Sunday, I had 3 anxiety attacks before it was over with. I just can't act like everything is okay anymore, but yet I am not sure who I can trust to talk to anymore, so I don't really know what to do or say.

 

[Hashi]

I'm wondering what you want to get from the interaction/relationship/friendship?

If you want some sort of connection, then I assume you would want that to be with people who are like-minded in some way. I have connections with people where we have only one point of connection and that's fine. For example, I like reading books and I really enjoy going to a book group and discussing them. The book group occasionally does an additional social event, but that's always connected to books in some way. Because it's centred around an interest, there's always something to talk about that doesn't have to be my mental health.

The book group also gives me something to make small talk about, with other people. Even if we have nothing in common and they don't like reading, It's something I can say. I can refer to it if people ask me about plans or what I did, again without having to reference mental health or even anything very personal.

If you're saying you "are" PTSD and have no other interests, then I suppose you have to find some sort of PTSD/mental health group to be a part of, or you need to make yourself follow an interest. I first started going to the book group when I was struggling really badly. I couldn't even read a print book (I had to get audiobooks instead) and my OCD at that time meant the process of leaving the house took me 2.5 hours.

I made myself do it because I realised I had nothing in my life but PTSD, and nothing to talk about. It was a small thing in one way (actually a huge, difficult thing for me at the time) but it was helpful for the kind of situation you're talking about. It was also useful to stop myself from becoming nothing but PTSD.

 

[shimmerz]

@Hashi, this is a really good posting. Thank you.

 

[Disquieted]

I don't tell anyone what's going on. I've walled off most of my friends but really I didn't have many to begin with.
When I talk to people I focus on them...their life, hobbies, relationships, feelings. I just turn it all back to them and avoid talking about me. If I were to talk about me, really about me, no one would want to know. PTSD stinks and overwhelms people.
I'm fine talking to my kids and hubby though.

 

[bell]

@Hashi, I know I don't "know" you, but I wanted to let you know that reading that post made me really proud of you. :)

@Kas_Can_Fly, I think @Hashi's post hit it right on the nose. You don't have to be all about PTSD if you don't want to, but if you do want to that's okay, too. I think the key here is start small, realizing that there's some trial and error when it comes to meeting others. Some will be more receptive than others, and you have to remember their reaction says less about you and more about them.

That you are even thinking about your connection with others is a great step. :)

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Thanks everyone for your replies, I will try to respond better soon, I feel a bit overwhelmed, but I have read these and am grateful and will return as soon as I can. :)

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I don't know why I'm struggling so much with coming back to this. I have a few things I want to add though and then I think I'll try to tackle each post one by one? Or can I just say I take a lot of what was said on board and thanks... I'll think about it. I feel that I haven't asked this question right, though the responses are good either way, so maybe I don't need to worry about that. I'm such a ball of confusion!

I have one friend who lives 200 miles away who I visit for around a week who I know is comfortable with however weird I need to be, so is mostly not an issue. I think I ask about making new and/or keeping conversation going to build friendship. Also I want to say that as it currently stands, I am extremely socially isolated and have been for most of my life. Now, I don't really see anyone other than my mum (carer) and therapist/ social worker more than about once or twice a year. Due to various issues I can't leave the house for much except appointments. Hopefully in the next year or so, this will change however. Therefore though I feel that I am not my PTSD, due to a lack of nearly anything else in my life, being as unwell as I am makes up a huge part in my pie chart of life.

I probably should have mentioned that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder as well and that certainly adds to my social issues - which seems like a pretty big thing to overlook!

I really don't know why I'm struggling with this thread so much and I feel like I've wasted the space and your advice(s), It's really taking it out of me. Sorry but thanks, I may need to abandon this, I don't know, I hope not. I will read anything that gets posted back and I'll attempt a better reply tomorrow or soon. :(

 

[ghotiff]

I feel like I've wasted the space

No you haven't. This is a great thread.

 

[TonyG]

We are all here to support each other,