I've been thinking a lot about my values. I'm seeing how things work for me when they're in line with my values, and also how there can be issues when my values are different from someone else's.
For example, I realise that connection, authenticity, effort and trying new things are high on my list of values. When I've worked in a job that satisfied those values, I've loved it. When I've taken a job only because I thought I should do it as career advancement or for security, I've felt like a wage slave and been miserable - success, status and security aren't core values for me. (I don't think there's anything wrong with them, they just don't happen to be on my list.)
This might sound odd, but respect isn't a core value for me. Of course, I want to be respected and to respect others appropriately, but it isn't something that fundamentally drives my decisions or behaviour. This is a problem for me at work, because I'm not respectful enough to people in authority based on their position alone. I'm always polite, but I'll say the same type of things to them as I would to anyone, and that doesn't always go down too well if they're driven by status and the need to feel more respected and deferred to. I need to bear this in mind. Note to self: not everyone values authenticity and equality above other things!
It's depressing how different my values are from other people in my family. For starters, "family" and "duty" are nowhere near my list but are at the top of some of my family members' values. I think they're as frustrated by my motivations - like independence and authenticity - as I am by theirs.
I think looking at values is helping me to look at things with less judgement of myself and others. I hope it can also help me enjoy life more, if I can understand what things feel worthwhile to me and why.
