What Do You Want From Therapy?

[Pencil]

You know what I'm scared of the most. that in the process of (hopefully) coming out the other side, it will have caused so much hurt that I won't be the person I did all the work for. I'll be a person who won't be capable of the things I wanted to do. Mind you I'm not being that now.

.

I'm not following you here - and it drives me insane as I want to give you something - you're not in a good place, or am I being alarmist?

 

[Chosen]

Pencil,

Couple of things:

First, right brain/left brain is mostly a myth. Yes, the right brain has specializations, as does the left brain, but both work very closely together to accomplish very similar things.
Second, each eye is responsible for part of the information for each side of the brain. For example, on your left eye, the farther left portion, combined with the farther left portion of your right eye will send messages to your right side of the brain. The far right side of your right eye and the farther right of your left eye will send messages to the left side of the brain.
Laterlization of function isn't as divided as people might think. Split brain patients (those whom have their corpus collasums--the part of the brain that unites the two hemisphere--cut) are still able to process things very similarly to the way we do. Neuroplasticity plays a huge role in this case. Our brains are plastic, and will change functions if we need them to do so.

Secondly, if you're interested in attachment, you really should look at John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Phillip Shaver, Peter Fonagy, and Daniel J Siegel (absolutely amazing--The Developing Mind is incredible). They are some of the most widely-known, highly regarded researchers in the field. Siegel's book "The Developing Mind" has a chapter on attachment, and it is one of the most easily understood, concise, clear explanations of attachment I have come across in my studies and research.

From the first time I heard about attachment in one of my psychology classes, I was fascinated. It truly does explain so much. My Psych prof explained it as: Secure "I'm ok; you're ok," Avoidant: "I'm ok; you're not ok," Ambivalent/resistant: "I'm not ok; you're ok," and disorganized: "I'm not ok; you're not ok" (and true disorganized attachment style are the serial killers--much rarer than you might think). You may have combinations of each style, but there will be a predominant attachment style, but even there it might be different for genders and ages. For example, I'm 100% ambivalent/resistant when it comes to males in the age of 40-55, but I'm secure when it comes to women of all ages.
We also have an internal working model, by which we understand relationships and how we attach to others. That informs our attachment behavior system, in which we engage in behaviors that are meant to accomplish the attachment we desire--such as proximity seeking, and so on.

 

[Pencil]

Secondly, if you're interested in attachment, you really should look at John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Phillip Shaver, Peter Fonagy, and Daniel J Siegel (absolutely amazing--The Developing Mind is incredible). They are some of the most widely-known, highly regarded researchers in the field. Siegel's book "The Developing Mind" has a chapter on attachment, and it is one of the most easily understood, concise, clear explanations of attachment I have come across in my studies and research.

We also have an internal working model, by which we understand relationships and how we attach to others. That informs our attachment behavior system, in which we engage in behaviors that are meant to accomplish the attachment we desire--such as proximity seeking, and so on.

Thanks for all the interesting info Noah. Yes, I am interested in attachment etc, as it is completely new to me. Not sure how it works, or I work, though.

 

[Pencil]

I'd like to hear how it went.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Pencil,

I just got back to reality. I started to panic and feel the messy rising before the call. I tried to catch hold of what I wanted to bring up. It made me feel woosy so I lay down. I missed the half one slot and woke at five past two. I tried to bring myself round and I called the number, which was hard to read/process. When I try and take stuff in nowadays it's like chasing falling dominoes. When I tried to talk to her I felt a plume of pressure flooding across my head and I knew my concentration/consciousnesses was going. I apologized and said I was struggling to remain coherent. My pulse goes up cos it's scary. Then I passed out for a bit, when I get my awareness back, I'm rigid for a while and it's like I won't even let my thoughts move. Then after a while my thoughts are ok and I have to negotiate with the part that's holding me rigid to let me up. Sort of like a promise that I can still be in the mode I am when rigid if I allow myself to be mobile. Once that's agreed it's normally some automatic thing like scratching an itch that brings me out of it and I can get up. That took five hours!

 

[Pencil]

Erm, don't you need looking after at the moment? What is going on here? Where is Abstract now that I need her? Springer, I'm concerned. How stupid does that sound? How stupid exactly?

 

[Springer80]

I was just thinking what it must be like and how someone would interpret what I was experiencing if they just watched me. Not exactly a laugh a minute joke material but I'm good for musical statues!

Oh and I thought Noahs post was god but I do wonder because I do this myself, if reading about the neurology/biological development in depth is actually of any use for our practical needs. I'm all for a brad appreciation of it because an understanding of it relieves any self blame regarding your reaction. But as for adapting current abilities??? Maybe there is something more behavioral or actively applicable.

 

[Pencil]

I was just thinking what it must be like and how someone would interpret what I was experiencing if they just watched me. Not exactly a laugh a minute joke material but I'm good for musical statues!

Not funny! I'm worried about you.

I'm all for a brad appreciation of it because an understanding of it relieves any self blame regarding your reaction. But as for adapting current abilities??? Maybe there is something more behavioral or actively applicable.

I agree with the broad appreciation and how it helps to alleviate self criticism, shame, self bashing etc, and I agree that something practical is needed. Go to the thread 'Attachment Issues'

 

[Springer80]

Erm, don't you need looking after at the moment? What is going on here? Where is Abstract now that I need her? Springer, I'm concerned. How stupid does that sound? How stupid exactly?

I feel like I'm in some sort of forced regression. That's the best I can do description wise. My body went pop back in February, and I can't get back up. I'm okay if in a metaphorical sense I remain seated at all times (and most of the time not in a metaphorical sense) but if I try any big persons stuff and cognition, decisions etc its a flat out NO on all counts. The hospital say I have no issue blood/viral wise regarding Chronic fatigue which is what I've been signed of work with. I think my physiology is on a strict diet of secure attachment only. Thing is I don't have people catering to that and physically I can't keep trying to get it cos all fails zap me and make me worse. I'm in stasis.

I was thinking I'd like to speak to a neurologist but you can't just pick n mix your referrals unfortunately, you have to convince some one.

And the thing is I'm so pooped I'm just riding out the changes, I haven't got any umph for resistance or trying to steer the ship anymore. Thats what got me here in the first place and doctors don't listen to patients so I've given up.

 

[Pencil]

I. I think my physiology is on a strict diet of secure attachment only. Thing is I don't have people catering to that and physically I can't keep trying to get it cos all fails zap me and make me worse. I'm in stasis.

Thats what got me here in the first place and doctors don't listen to patients so I've given up.

And the next thing anyone would recommend is hospitalisation but that often makes things worse. I relate to people not catering to secure attachment - and getting worse. Not in great shape myself at the moment.

 

[Springer80]

Not funny! I'm worried about you.

Yeah I know, It's costing me alot and I don't know how to deal with it. I graduated in 2009 and it's been slowly dragging me under. I only care about my health now though and I refuse to push myself into any situation that will exacerbate this. I just don't know what to do and I'm so tired and upset by it really. I just need to keep going. Hence being silly.

 

[Pencil]

Are you going to try and talk to the trauma specialist again?