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Deleted member 1860
I gave up on finding understanding from others.
My whole life I felt entirely alone and misunderstood. Through some sort of miracle I found what I can only refer to as my "trauma twin" in that the details of his trauma were eerily similar to mine....it was so freaky. And yes, while he understood more than anyone else in my life up to that point, he still did not understand it all. I realized that if someone who had been through something strikingly similar couldn't understand me, then I wasn't going to waste my time in trying to find others who could understand me when they had no similar life events.
I used to have hysterical fits where I would cry out questioning why nobody understood me. My dad would tell me that I needed to stop seeking understanding because I would never get it, as it was impossible for people to understand where I have come from, where I am, or where I am going....It is completely outside of their realm of comprehension. Sounds cruel, but he was right.
I no longer seek understanding. (YaY for radical acceptance!) I know I won't ever get true understanding. And, I am ok with that. Someone could understand me 10000% and still be unaccepting. The whole world could understand me and still reject me. I much rather be accepted and loved for who I am rather than try and make everyone understand me.
I realize that this isn't exactly what you were asking, but I am sharing because this is what has worked for me. I am past the point of seeking understanding on such a grand level. (Of course, everyone seeks it on a smaller level, its just human nature.)
My whole life I felt entirely alone and misunderstood. Through some sort of miracle I found what I can only refer to as my "trauma twin" in that the details of his trauma were eerily similar to mine....it was so freaky. And yes, while he understood more than anyone else in my life up to that point, he still did not understand it all. I realized that if someone who had been through something strikingly similar couldn't understand me, then I wasn't going to waste my time in trying to find others who could understand me when they had no similar life events.
I used to have hysterical fits where I would cry out questioning why nobody understood me. My dad would tell me that I needed to stop seeking understanding because I would never get it, as it was impossible for people to understand where I have come from, where I am, or where I am going....It is completely outside of their realm of comprehension. Sounds cruel, but he was right.
I no longer seek understanding. (YaY for radical acceptance!) I know I won't ever get true understanding. And, I am ok with that. Someone could understand me 10000% and still be unaccepting. The whole world could understand me and still reject me. I much rather be accepted and loved for who I am rather than try and make everyone understand me.
I realize that this isn't exactly what you were asking, but I am sharing because this is what has worked for me. I am past the point of seeking understanding on such a grand level. (Of course, everyone seeks it on a smaller level, its just human nature.)
