What does it mean to be a good person?

[user27357]

Guys can you keep the discussion of drugs and drug laws relevant to the original post and thread topic please.

yeah we got over on the starboard side there. But I do think that drug use and it's conotations as being a bad thing being done by bad people applies.
Long ago, when applying for a job I was asked if I had any physical limitations that needed to be accomodated. Only that I like to wear my hair long and needed my coworkers to understand that it didn't make me a bad person was my reply. It was very clear from the start that long hair equaled drug user equaled bad person there. I didn't last long there, I was a user. I partied too long some nights and missed the morning bells a few times. That didn't make me feel like a bad person in the least, just unemployed, not unemployable. I paid my rent without stealing or selling drugs to make it happen, I got another job where having long hair just made me more like everyone else.

As we go forward into a time where personal freedoms are looked at in a new light, keeping an eye on the dividing line between what society deems bad and what is acceptable will become more and more important. Drugs are just one topic where this will be applicable.

 

[somerandomguy]

@enough, last warning, mention drugs again and I will threadban you.

That also goes for everyone else.

 

[somerandomguy]

This has been an enlightening conversation. I'm not sure when I posed the question that I was aware that I was asking everyone to recreate thousands of years of moral philosophy. I was afraid to post this at first, wondering if I was just overthinking.

What would the practical results be of assuming that one is a good person? Would you be more or less likely to do good things if you feel that you're basically a good person? Or does it just depend on the person?

I assume only sociopaths would think they are good people if they consistently do bad things. True or false?

 

[Innordinate]

sociopaths

My understanding would b that sociopaths wouldn't consider whether they're good or bad people. It wouldn't cross their mind to. If you asked a Sociopath this question my guess is they would give you the answer that suited them most at the time. Most likey they would say they're good people because they know that's what they're 'supposed' to be.

be more or less likely to do good things if you feel that you're basically a good person

I think the actions come before the label. I think the doing of good things is what makes people feel like a good person, which is why the whole concept of good and bad is completely subjective.
Society tends to label people good or bad based on the deeds they perform, the closer those deeds align with current cultural values the more likely to receive the label of 'good'. I think this works the same individually as well. The more your values align with mine the more I would consider you a good person.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh my @somerandomguy , this might not be at all helpful because I haven't read most of these posts, and though I do agree that it could be viewed culturally, I view it a little differently.. hard to explain ('in words') but 'goodness' itself would be what is for the benefit of another/ others without wilfully harming another in the process. It would be something of integrity- not influenced whether others saw it or not. Or maybe even knew. But ultimately it's also a question of actions, and so more so there are gentle or life-affirming in some matter actions, or actions causing pain or heartache. Even then, no one knows what is in the mind and heart of another at any given time, or what is or has influenced it. So I would also say it would include being competent in all ways to make a decision/ action.

So, just to me, a good person would be someone who consistently makes or attempts to decisions that are intended to be and reasonably would be expected to be, for the good of others. A person who was doing the opposite isn't a 'bad' person to me, but their choices may be harmful.

IME with psychopathology (sociopathy) - or not- who really knows?- it wouldn't be a question, the thought of the kind of 'good' actions above would just be considered foolish and 'martyrdom', more a question of getting what the person wants, at whatever cost. People are to be used for an end game, unconscionably.

Yes I believe you are a good person; even wondering if you are indicates something on it's own. And you have 'earned' that by what you've said many times, supporting others etc, and can choose to continue it. What others do or don't, or have or will or won't, is irrelevant to how you see yourself. One doesn't have to have a contrast of harmful choices to prove good ones exist. JMHO though- maybe I got the question wrong? :confused: :notworthy:

 

[mamachick]

I think many of us on this forum were raised to believe that we were bad in some way or many ways. Speaking for myself, it doesn't make you feel real good about yourself, and that belief doesn't help you make good decisions either. How we view ourselves effects how we view the world as well. We may even think others think we are bad when they don't, or don't even care. If we think this way, we will find more evidence of bad. If we are able to shift those beliefs, we are able to identify the good self. Once that happens, we are able to do more good acts.

Most of the time I think I am a good person. I am also sensitive to criticism from some close to me. I live the best I can, but some days I catch myself getting a case of the "should" which of course leads to depression and feeling like a bad person. So I try to practice acceptance of what is my reality. I use to be very productive and efficient and goal oriented. My health problems interfere with this on a consistent basis. It interferes with many aspects of life....income, housekeeping, appearance, charity, and social.This is an example of one of the triggers that start the "shoulds". We can chose not to define ourselves by "what we do" as well. When I think of good/bad, I think of worth/worthless. We are more than what we do.

 

[Friday]

I assume only sociopaths would think they are good people if they consistently do bad things. True or false?

Easy one, first!

I don’t think self-delusion or lying to yourself is limited to a single disorder, or actually, any disorder.

Nor, to get back to the stickey wicket, does everyone agree on what’s “bad”. So for someone to be consistently doing bad things ... by whose standards? Mine? Yours? Theirs? Someone else’s? If someone believes that they’re on the side of the Angels, and someone else believes what they’re doing is wrong? The person doesn’t even have to lie to themselves to believe they’re doing good things, whilst someone else believes they’re doing bad things.

What would the practical results be of assuming that one is a good person? Would you be more or less likely to do good things if you feel that you're basically a good person? Or does it just depend on the person?

No idea.

I’m a pretty terrible person, by my own standards. I may joke sometimes that I already know I’m going to hell, at this point it’s go big or go home ;) But that’s really no more than the deep sigh before I do something I don’t want to, but have chosen to anyway. I don’t choose my actions based on what kind of person I believe myself to be. I choose my actions based on my best judgement at the time. Right or wrong, good or bad, and regardless of what others think of them... they’re still my choices, and my actions, and I’m the one who has to live with them. All my past acts and future acts don’t give me a pass on THIS act. So it really doesn’t matter to me what kind of person I am. A thing needs doing. How am I going to do that? As best I can.

 

[Lionheart]

I hope that I am adding something of value here as I have not read every post in this thread, (but I did read the original post)...

I don't think there is one right answer as everyone's idea of what is good and bad will differ, but I think I can expect good people to be people who are loving and bad people to be people who are not. At least this is the way I tend to look at it, (you are most welcome to disagree).

However, I do think that I understand your confusion when you wrote the original post. My grandmother used to tell me to "be a good boy" with out any reference to what being good meant, …leaving me to figure it out on my own. What she was saying still alludes me because I thought I was already good.

I have a real problem with emotional reasoning too, "if I feel bad I must be bad" sort of thinking. So that the lines between being good and being bad get blurred and I must be wary of my tendency to think that way.

To accept that I am good, means that I must accept that there are bad people in the world and also that bad things happen to good people.

This is not an easy one to figure out and being the spiritual / religious person that I am, I came to question how 'The Creator / God' could allow 'bad' things to happen to 'good' people. On my quest to answer the question, I came to an impasse where I had to decide if 'The Creator' was all-powerful or all-loving and eventually I went with the later of the two.

So, having solved that conundrum (for myself) , I was back to asking myself what made a person good or bad. I think being a good person comes down to our free will to choose that which we perceive to be good and keeping our intent pure and focused on the greater good of all. I can't know how my actions will turn out but I can keep my intentions pure and focus on being kind to others. So we are back to free will, choices, and intentions.

This reminds me of "the allegory of the long spoons" as it encourages people to be kind to one another. If I had to pick one word that describes a good person I would have to say "kindness" (which encompasses respect for and valuing others).

This is just my experience, my journey, my take on it. It is only my opinion so please take it for what it is, …just my 2 cents.

 

[Mach123]

I don't think you can talk about it without philosophy and religion entering into it, but I'm not going to discuss that here. To me the question means, or the original spirit of the question was, am I a good person according to me, or can I be? What would that mean, what would that look like? Can I forgive myself, or do I need permission, and from whom? What if, regardless of what anyone else thinks, I felt good about me?

 

[Lionheart]

To me the question means, or the original spirit of the question was, am I a good person according to me, or can I be? What would that mean, what would that look like? Can I forgive myself, or do I need permission, and from whom? What if, regardless of what anyone else thinks, I felt good about me?

Thank you for clarifying that for me, I don't always have the best cognitive skills and I apologize for my misinterpretation.

 

[shimmerz]

Provocative and relevant to my issues these days too SomeRandomGuy. I found this article which seems interesting. I know that much of my self-care has been hindered by the idea that I am being selfish (read bad) when I am thinking of my own issues without thinking of those that I am impacting. I don't feel that way quite so much anymore and it is really helping me.

There Is No Such Thing As Good and Bad
An interesting idea within the link -

Good and bad do not exist in the forest when nobody is there.
Not sure if that is true according to the Shimmerz view of the world or not. Something I will be pondering for a bit. I mean, truly, the freedom of not constantly having to filter through my 'is this right/wrong/good/bad' lens would be .... just wow!

 

[Cactus Bloom]

Provocative and relevant to my issues these days too SomeRandomGuy. I found this article which seems...

Great article! Thanks for sharing!