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What Have You Accomplished Lately?

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Spent the last two days taking care of what I lovingly refer to as my "Meals on Wheels" grand tour, which includes, but isn't limited to, shopping/prepping/cooking/plating for easy access/and eventually delivering vegan vittles for mom (and us, but mostly mom). The menu includes:

Garden salad, curried (and plain) chick pea salad with hemp hearts, roasted brussel sprouts and carrots marinated in almond oil, balsamic vinaigrette, and sweet rice vinegar, steamed peas, red grapes in snack bags, red grapes and sliced bananas drizzled with fresh lemon and lime juice in bowls, greatorade made with orange/mango juice, coconut water, filtered water, lemon juice, lime juice, and sea salt, and a few other store bought things.

Grateful for the momentum, even more grateful to be almost done. It'll take a day or two to recover, at least. lol
 
after a really bad week, and weeks of not being able to clean my house because of depressive symptoms, today I went to the laundromat and cleaned my room so theres no piles of things on the ground ! And did my sheets!

feeling so content about this its amazing how a change in my environment relaxes me. putting on a scented candle and going to make dinner :)
 
Lately I have accomplished a more nuanced way of breaking down my distorted cognitions. Example below.

I am getting better at picking apart my distorted thinking patterns. I still get lost in ruminations and maladaptive daydreaming, but so much less than I did last year. I am improving a lot in this area. I need to feel safe to ground in my body so I can really reread and redo the David Burns book once again. I am getting close to that point now.

  1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
  2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
  3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
  4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
  5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
  6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
  7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
  8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
  9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
  10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.
1. Black and white thinking has been a life long problem for me. My Mother used to make fun of me for it, and I remember feeling angry and resentful towards her, I thought but you made me like this. You mess with me and you did this to me. I was pretty young at the time. Anyway I am not young any more, but I still struggle with this. I do it a lot less than I used to do. I am trying to focus on doing more rational thinking each week. Slowly I am getting there.

2. I do see a single negative event as a pattern of defeat. Getting on top of this one will help with those helpless and hopeless feelings.

3. I do dwell obsessively on negative events, at times, I am improving in this area as well. A long way to go but also I have come such a long way.

4. I am getting better at not disqualifying the positive. It is hard, and part of the way I do this is through challenges, quests, power ups and bad guy identification in SuperBetter. It really is helping with number 4.

5. Oh the jumping to conclusions and the resulting paranoia has really shaped and limited my life. That is so sad. The good thing is that now I am jumping to conclusions a lot less than I was. I think building up distress tolerance will assist with this one.

6. Yes magnification and minimisation - I am doing it regularly. Recently I minimised my perceptions and it was quite dangerous, but I got lucky. I am worthwhile. I am worth protecting.

7. Emotional reasoning - I have lived my life thinking because I felt XX, then XX is true. I am still having trouble with this one - but a lot less.

8. Should statements - still doing a much more limited amount of these.

9. I still have troubles identifying this one.

10. Yes I am stepping out of taking the blame for how badly things went after I disclosed the abuse. It is taking along time, but at least now I have a path and I know more of where I am going with this.
 
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