What helps you stay asleep?

[somerandomguy]

I will ask pdoc about that one (or is it otc?)

Rx only. Ask your pdoc.

 

[Sideways]

Every time I go hunting for new information about sleep and sleep issues, it seems like we know less and less about healthy sleep.

It’s actually totally normal to wake multiple times throughout the night. With healthy sleep, the difference is that the ‘waking’ is so brief that the person doesn’t remember. When the solid sleeper gets up in the morning, as far as they’re aware they didn’t wake up at all, when in fact they most likely woke up half a dozen times.

So, getting back to sleep is more the issue than the waking. For me, if I’ve just had a really disturbing nightmare it takes longer to get back to sleep, so that’s what I’d probably focus on if I wanted more solid sleep.

Another interesting thing is alcohol: it does often help getting to sleep. But it decreases the quality of sleep, especially in the second half of the night, where sleep will become lighter (less quality deep sleep) and more waking. And that’s been shown even with a single serve of alcohol before bed.

Sleep also changes as we age. Our sleep gets lighter as we get older, and this change can be noticed as early as your 30s, and very much so by your 40s. So if you’re finding this is a new problem, that may be consistent with what’s normal for your age bracket.

Also consider your breathing. If you smoke, or have smoked in the past, or have any kind of compromised breathing? You will wake very frequently. This could be worth a trip to a sleep specialist. Alternatively, they’re hard to adjust to at first, but wedges that elevate your head (and this can be quite high) definitely help some people go from frequent-waking to rock-solid deep sleep.

So, if the problem is regular waking and taking too long to get back to sleep? Perhaps try removing alcohol from the occasion, working on strategies (like exhale-focused breathing exercises) that will help calm you and return you to sleep quicker. And then cut yourself a break, because a lot of this may be relatively normal changes that most people will experience.

Not to minimise how much poor sleep effects your mood. I read about sleep so much because my sleep is bloody awful, and it makes every day impossibly hard.

 

[Kubash16]

@Sideways, thank you for the advice. Everything you said makes sense. It probably wouldn’t hurt for me to see a specialist anyway, my ExH would say I would stop breathing sometimes, on top of literally beating him up but he kinda deserved it lol.

Anyway, I’m 28 and sleep has always been an issue. I went through periods in my teens where I could sleep pretty good, but once I was married shit no. If I managed to not wake up (or notice anyway) I would still feel absolutely exhausted the next day like I hadn’t slept at all.

 

[Sideways]

would say I would stop breathing sometimes,

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnoea?

It is commonly associated with people who are overweight, but my dad is a runner and very fit and suffers sleep apnoea. For him, treatment simply involved a special pillow. The change was pretty much from his first night, and absolutely it improved his mood and energy.

 

[Kubash16]

Have you ever been tested for sleep apnoea?

It is commonly associated with people who are overweight, but my dad is a runner and very fit and suffers sleep apnoea. For him, treatment simply involved a special pillow. The change was pretty much from his first night, and absolutely it improved his mood and energy.

I probably have it, my mom does, plus I’m overweight. But I’ve never been tested. Do you know what kind of pillow it was?

 

[Sideways]

Do you know what kind of pillow it was?

It was one he got from the sleep specialist based on the results of his sleep test, which he finally got done when my mum couldn’t deal with him stopping breathing while he slept.

My understanding with sleep apnoea is that not everyone needs a cpap in order to improve their sleep, but it is going to depend on exactly what the issue is. If you have sleep apnoea, then very definitely you’re not going to feel refreshed after you’ve slept, and sorting it out could be hugely beneficial for both your physical and mental health. Worth exploring perhaps.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Problem: consistently waking up 2-3 times (sometimes more) in the middle of the night. Sometimes in response to nightmares, sometimes (like tonight) over nothing at all.

Solutions I have tried:

Melatonin- gave me more/worse nightmares and woke up more frequently.

OTC sleep meds- work too well then I don’t hear my alarm for work.

Weighted blanket- love this thing but it’s not helping.

Alcohol- maladaptive for one, works too well and sleep past my alarm again.

Routine for before bed to get myself tired- hasn’t worked on iota (this includes no electronics and such).

Essential oils dashed on stuff next to where I sleep- nada/not working

I can fall asleep easily usually so that isn’t the issue. Any ideas I haven’t tried?

Edited to add: I’ve noticed the more I’ve woken up the night before the worse my SI is the next day. Which is risky because my SI right now is really really walking a fine line into serious stuff.

Every morning I make my bed ( an important step in the process and change sheets once a week) Bed is for sleeping.
I take a warm bath, keep the thermostat cool-68-70, take meds an hour before lights out- which always includes 2 magnesium ( make me drowsy) and a flint stones bitamin( inner child likes them). Often Ill water color an hour before bed while meds kick in to clear my mind and do something positive- w TV off, typically make s to do list for next day( so worrying about next day tasks doesn’t keep me awake), reduce caffeine intake in evening,
And identify my days accomplishments and what I’m grateful for. Then I put a Korean mink blanket( soft but heavy) over me, snuggle up w 2 stuffed animals, and if necessary another heavy blanket and think about something positive I’ll do the next day( music, art project, put up things on the wall, and that works). The double sided mink blankets are really helpful-and so is a completely dark room.

 

[ChildofGod]

Not figjting sleep tooth and nail. Do something else until I can possibly sleep again. Falling asleep in a different way also helped, I fell asleep sitting upright, lol. Being as physically active as I can, even tired. Finding and enjoying new genres of music on youtube, drawing with crayons and paper when I can't sleep.
And in general, little to no caffeine.

 

[mamachick]

Benedryl dries me out too much. I have no saliva the next day and can barely talk. That goes for all forms of anti histamine. I take small dose of xanax and take melatonin too. I wake up at least a couple times during the night to urinate....which is a pain. I cut back on fluids during the night but then read an article that not being hydrated increased risk of heart attack in sleep. I also wake with pain. The good part is that I am able to go right back to sleep after bathroom or with changing positions. I am aware of the pain but still sleep through it mostly. I am very leary of xanax though because I did build a tolerance before and was taking a high dose. I desperately needed rotator cuff surgery and couldn't get it taken care of for4 yrs and during that time is when the xanax increased. When the surgery was done and pain lessened, I still needed the high amounts. Its hard to get off of so I watch if carefully now.

 

[HealingInProcess]

How do you feel about waking up during the night?

I ask, because it’s a new parenting trick to a) drop the idea that humans need a large block of uninterrupted sleep in order to be happy/healthy/rested, quirkily enough scientifically we do better with naps, but the day night cycle doesn’t support that outside of the artic & b) to -essentially- CBT your mood about being woken up. No one uses the term CBT, but that’s what it is. Because people who are angry/sad/scared about being woken up usually end up struggling with depression & anxiety, but that depression & anxiety totally lifts as soon as they can find a more neutral thought process. You don’t have to be happy about being woken up every 2 hours for 6mo-2years, but even just a “this is what we’re doing right now” outlook and boom! The situational depression lifts as if by magic. A whooooooole helluva lot of the “sleep training” books “for” babies are actully less about teaching a baby to sleep, than conditioning parents to be okay with broken sleep because they’re expecting it with a sense of Voctory! We’ve mastered sleep training! :woot: Go self! Rock on you badass mommy/daddy we’ve GOT this! ...lol. Not dissimilar to how dog training is 90% about training owners how to behave with their dogs, rather than teaching dogs to do specific things.

It was the mention of increased depression the next day that reminded me of this... and the fact that my best friend just “woke up” from her sleep dep induced depression. Not because her baby is sleeping better (she’s not, poor thing, they’re up every hour on the hour) but because “You & my mom we’re right! I can tell you, I don’t think I can tell her, yet. But as soon as I stopped fighting it, and being worried about being tired the next day, and being angry about waking up? My days got WOW! Better. Don’t tell my mom. Not yet. I have to work myself up to that.”

...now... I don’t actually remember telling her this (it’s parenting 101, but it’s just rude to tell new parents how to do shit), but either she’s remembering from when my own kiddo was little, or she’s mixing me up with one of her other parent friends, or she reeeeeeally doesn’t want to tell her mom, or I was just a bit dissociative that day :bag:

I like this as I think acceptance is very important when it comes to disrupted sleep. I also find if I have taken time to self soothe with self talk it helps me to sleep. I need to process the day sometimes to sleep more effectively.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Not figjting sleep tooth and nail. Do something else until I can possibly sleep again. Falling asleep in a different way also helped, I fell asleep sitting upright, lol. Being as physically active as I can, even tired. Finding and enjoying new genres of music on youtube, drawing with crayons and paper when I can't sleep.
And in general, little to no caffeine.

I find that if I do exercise- it kicks in endorphins and I can’t even think about sleep- exercise of any kind is refreshing.

 

[ChildofGod]

I wrote that wrong. I meant to say exercise before sleep, is best. Not while you are trying to sleep. So sorry! Lol