What I Really Want To Ask My Therapist

[malachi]

what do you think the odds are that I'm going to die of natural causes?

do you respect me?

do you really believe that I can be put back together?

 

[watundah]

Once I asked mine if she'd rather be a big red dog or a little blue dog. She said a little blue dog so she could ride along in someone's purse

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

I would ask:

Does the behavior I describe constitute grooming? Or just inappropriate/intrusive? It may not seem like a big difference, but it matters to me.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Why do you make me feel so intensely uncomfortable

For me, the answer to that one is because I'm sat in front of a complete stranger, telling them all the worst parts of my life.

 

[NatBird]

I want to ask him if he wants to have sex with me. I'm pretty sure he does. I think that's what keeps him...

I thought this when I first started therapy a while back.

Then I realised I thought people would only be interested in me because they 'wanted something', sexually or otherwise.

It still lingers in interactions although not in therapy despite my trauma T dressing like Sharon Stone in Basis Instinct!

 

[Panda Bear]

I already tend to ask some of these hard questions. In fact, when I do, it's often because I'm feeling insure, insecure and some sort of shame about the therapy process.

When I ask them, he takes note and often times circles back around when we're are having more difficult times, uses those questions to reassure me that we're good!

Like:
"why didn't you pass me along years ago? Surely I'm more work than it's worth"

"Why are you so nice to me?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Don't I frustrate you?"

"Why are you so protective of me"

"Shouldn't I be better by now?"

"Are you going to leave me..."

The list goes on and I try to ask every question that comes to my mind, because I feel it's my little self that needs something major. Usually reassurance. Love and comforting.

 

[Iamsensative]

@Orion, i had to laugh. i dearly love my therapist. But my respect for him and his beautiful relationship with his wife would never even allow me to have a fantasy. I would be consumed with guilt even at the thought.

 

[Rumors]

"Are you sorry I was referred to you?"
"Want me to leave?"

 

[EmmaOwl]

I already tend to ask some of these hard questions. In fact, when I do, it's often because I'm feeling insure, insecure and some sort of Shame about the therapy process.
...
I try to ask every question that comes to my mind, because I feel it's my little self that needs something major. Usually reassurance. Love and comforting.

Panda, me too. I am so lucky/glad to have a therapist who I can ask or say anything straight-out without worrying too much about someone being like "eww what is WRONG with this person" :) At this point, it's probably not going to surprise him anymore, when I ask this kind of question. - but it is still very important to me, to get that reassurance.

My most common insecure question is "Are you mad at me?" with "Are you going to drop me?" a close second. I think it is a small-child question, worrying I've done something wrong without realizing it, or being a bad person in general. My guy is quite patient with me about this.

 

[EmmaOwl]

Mine is open about having been in therapy - she believes in what she does and so takes herself back into therapy if and when she feels the need. In the U.K. most therapists will have been in therapy as a training requirement but I think it's fair to ask.

I think it's similar in the States - it depends upon the exact qualification - so many different training methods allow you to work as a therapist or a counselor, and some of those are required to go through therapy, and possibly continue. Which makes sense to me - if you're on the receiving end on all this pain and suffering, anyone would need their own therapeutic support. I absolutely think it is a good question to ask. I trust my therapist no matter what, but I'm also glad that he has his own support. It takes it out of my hands, I don't feel any need to be on the receiving end of his own personal difficulties - even if we are quite close both in and out of therapy.

A little oddly, I KNOW my therapist's therapist.. he was my mom's therapist and he and I are friendly with one another.. I guess it is sort of odd, but it works out fine. I'glad to know and respect my therapist's therapist.

(Does that sound like a book title or something? "My Therapist's Therapist and Me." lol sorry for my goofing)

 

[Deleted member 35429]

@Orion, i had to laugh. i dearly love my therapist. But my respect for him and...

I guess I'm a cold hearted bitch. :)
I wouldn't be a home wrecker but I don't feel guilty for the fantasy.

 

[amosmorris]

The question, "Do you think there's anything I'm not telling you?" strikes me as a really important one I'd like to ask and, I think, for me, another question that's embedded there is something along the lines of, "Do you think there's anything I'm not telling myself?"....

And @Orion I'm sure there is plenty of room to feel sexually attracted to your therapist, though of course no room to act on it...and I think your therapist could reasonably feel that way back--s/he is human, after all--but again, the line is so important. I imagine that in very well-developed, probably long-term therapeutic relationships this kind of attraction could be discussed and explored. No doubt there's lots of potential meaning or significance behind the idea of gratifying him. I don't have a strong sexual desire for my therapist but certainly I desire her in plenty of other ways I won't fully ever get (like for example being able to talk to her whenever I want...)...and these desires certainly manifest as a kind of longing at times.