What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Friday]

I’m considering using my old gingerbread house recipe (understatedly nicknamed “oven plywood”) as the NON-edible crusts of some ancient pie recipes. Ancient Greece/Rome level ancient.

Cause I got thinking about a pastrami on rye, and about Middle Eastern / Mediterranean spiced lamb… and how awesome MIGHT a rock hard rye & honey, Christmas Spiced, infusion thing be with… lamb stew??? Some pomegranate molasses, too, maybe??? Or red currants??? As everything steams in its own juices, the aeromatics from the deeply spiced rye infusing in.

Thinking thinking thinking.

Also, if it comes out like I think it might? Duck & Venison

Of course, it could also be inedible. But pastrami on rye is a badass sandwich.

Thinking is probably all that’s gonna happen, though. Not presently up to tying my own shoes, much less anything more complicated.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I am stressing over my soon to be ex wife backing out on a promise to transfer her interest in the home I am living in. She said she was going to transfer it outside of the divorce as a gift. Now she wants to use it as leverage on some other financial issues.She doesn’t tell me this until today after I signed everything in regards to selling our former residence. Life would be so much better if people just conducted themselves honorably.

 

[Dave Ryan]

A while back I wrote a memoir about the bullying I endured at school, but left out the time I was forced into a sex act with another boy. I've decided to revise it and this time include the rape.

 

[Calm in the chaos]

How I have flamazine cream on my injuries, and it’s specifically for burns.. but it makes your clothes flammable? this is so funny to me

 

[parrotthepolly]

Some stuff and other things...

 

[whiteraven]

Have to work tomorrow. Bleh.

 

[Rose White]

How f*cking long life is—feels endless. Yeah I got gratitude AND life feels like it drags. Trying to remember that the empty sad feeling—that I will not get what I want—means I’m alive.

 

[parrotthepolly]

How f*cking long life is—feels endless. Yeah I got gratitude AND life feels like it drags. Trying to remember that the empty sad feeling—that I will not get what I want—means I’m alive.

It certainly can feel endless but an individual's life is incredibly short and it'll be coming to an end before you know it.

Many people don't get what they want, or think they want and it may not be something they need.

 

[user27357]

How f*cking long life is—feels endless. Yeah I got gratitude AND life feels like it drags. Trying to remember that the empty sad feeling—that I will not get what I want—means I’m alive.

thanks for the reminder! If i am not happy with the things i see and the things i am thinking about all I have to do is look and think smaller- I am alive and i know there is food in the fridge and i can sleep where i want to and i will have a fresh pair of socks tomorrow. Not bad on a scale of worst life conditions on the planet to best, pretty close to the top I think. Did I mention the AC? I got freaking AC!
Sad empty is only there because happy and full happened once upon a time. Lucky us!

 

[Rose White]

Many people don't get what they want, or think they want and it may not be something they need.

I think we do get what we need; when we try. But we will never get what we desire. And I’m learning that that is just a human condition.

In terms of life being short? Eh… I don’t know how anyone can convince someone with depression that life is short. I don’t want to dismiss that you, or anyone, might feel that life is short—that’s awesome for you to have that. But for some, maybe many, death feels like a potential gift. Maybe it’s an unenlightened view, idk.

 

[Applecore]

Trying to remember that the empty sad feeling—that I will not get what I want—means I’m alive.

What is it that you want that you will not get?

And, as a fellow post-PTSD ally who knows what worked (and perhaps a dumb question): is there any chance of attempting to reduce your addiction to thinking about what you won't get? To displace that by focusing your mind on other things that you do want, that you will or can get, like an hourly prayer? And that that means you're even more alive?

It helped me immensely, after years. What do I want today? To go for a bike ride in nature with my friend. And I will get that.

This can make us feel so much more free of rumination than we were, and so alive. I guess you've given it a go already, but if not - think about it !

 

[parrotthepolly]

In terms of life being short? Eh… I don’t know how anyone can convince someone with depression that life is short. I don’t want to dismiss that you, or anyone, might feel that life is short—that’s awesome for you to have that. But for some, maybe many, death feels like a potential gift. Maybe it’s an unenlightened view, idk.

I don't feel like life is short at at all. That's just what everyone always say and as I can see I'm getting older and my health is getting worse everyday I've lost so much time literally doing nothing that I'll never take back. Worse is that I'm very disconnected so I don't remember or know it existed but know that there was time before I was a shell of a human being.

The days are long and the years are short.

Time is precious technical but of course with depression it hardly ever feels that way and it can be hard to believe.

I 'believe' it logically but I for one sure ain't spending the 'precious' time wisely and it makes everything crumble down.

Death sure is comforting and something to look forward to but it's something that can never be taken back.