What Is Your Understanding of Love?

[empowered]

I've always struggled with the feeling/concept/defining of love.

Love to me seems to be something that has to be earned and easily lost. Lost when you don't do enough for that person.

I feel confused about what love means and how it's supposed to feel, as it was not something traught/shown/given when I was young.

This is a definition I found and wrote in my journal which has help me.

We come to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, and often painful..something we had to give up our own dreams and desires for....Loving behaviour doesn't grind you down, keep you of balance, or create feelings of self-hatred. Love doesn't hurt, it feels good. Loving behaviour nourishes your emotional well being. When someone is being loving to you, you feel accepted, cared for, valued, and respected. Genuine love creates feelings of warmth, pleasure, safety, stability, and inner peace!

 

[sisu]

Hello empowered,
Love....that is a huge emotion and a beautiful thing. Love does not hurt, is kind and accpepting. I believe the following words sum it up...

No one falls in love by choice, it’s by chance.
No one stays in love by chance, it’s work.
No one falls out of love by chance, it’s by choice.

When you meet the right person, you will know when it is love. You may think that you are ready for love...but you may not really be. When you are truly ready, love will find you and it will be wonderful. My prayers are with you.

Sisu

 

[TLight]

Boy, whenever anyone uses the word with me, I want to run or puke.

But I like the definition. I'll hang onto in my brain. I don't want to be isolated forever. This journey is about change.

 

[linasmom]

I wish I could offer something like a definition but I can't. I, too, never understood what love was because of my childhood. For years and years, I had such a twisted outlook on what love must be. Then, I met my husband and it was like the world came to a screeching halt and then restarted again.

I feel like being "valued, cared for, and respected" are things that I should expect from friends, not just lovers. Though, a lover should be your friend, as well.

Love is something that two people create and not something that is predetermined.

Best,
Rachel

 

[Roo]

Love to me implies gentleness ... a choice to do no harm ... a deep constancy of kindness and presence ... cherishment ... a sense of home with another being ... a singular way of seeing and being seen ... a sturdy, no-nonsense respect ... a "no matter what" kind of presence ... an ease and safety in being-with ...

It is difficult to define! :think:

A quotation comes to mind: "Love that stammers, that stutters, is apt to be the love that loves best." (Gabriela Mistral)

Roo

 

[Deleted member 541]

Love sucks........Can you tell I have had a few bad relationships??? LOL!!!!!

 

[JustJane]

She Cat, I dare say you have never known true love. You thought you did, but if it isn't true love, nothing can be imitated forever. I dare say that whatever you felt and thought of as love was nothing of the sort. Real love never ends in divorce - it ends in death. And until you find it, you can't understand it.

I don't mean to be offensive, but that's the long and short of it.

 

[dlross]

While I don't have a definition of my own to offer, I am touched by the ones given here. On second thought, my one word definition would be: gentleness. That means even when being angry or stern or whatever...just always gentle...careful of another's fragility.

 

[pandora]

lOVE IS LIKE ANOTHER FOUR LETTER WORD FOR ME FOR RELATIONSHIPS, MY mOM AND NOW FRIENDS TOO! oops!

I can only receive and give unconditional love from my son.

Someone, anyone that says they love me.....always leaves me in the end. Your family is supposed to show love to you mine only shows resentment and hate.

 

[pandora]

Love has only shown me hurt and abandonment.

 

[Cecilia]

My definition is not sweet or romantic. Love is a choice. Nobody (including myself) is always gentle, patient and kind. However, if I choose to love that person, then I can endure their bad moments just as they choose to endure mine.

Friends are chosen. If somebody is too negative or too abrasive then I can choose to stay away from them or choose to love them in spite of their faults.

My family is the same. I can choose to over-look faults and extend love, even if the same is not extended to me. Or I can choose to walk away and save my sanity.

It is my choice.

 

[goingonhope]

My personal simplified definition of Love is: Love as a choose and a gift we give others freely without expectation in return.

But here below is a better understanding of exactly what I believe and practice when allowed to remain conscious and not swallowed up in an overload of life's stress and mine and too many others expectations of me.

It was shared with me during past retreats, I easily understand every word of it, bc this too is what love means to me.

Principles of Loving:

More Than Anything Else, We want to Love and be Loved.

Love is a Gift.

Love is Not Time Bound.

Love is Good Will in Action.

Love is a Response to Need.


Skills of Loving:

Seeing: I do not look over or through you. I see you in your uniqueness.

Hearing: I listen to what you are saying.

Honoring of Feelings and Ideas: I recognize your right to feel and think as you do.

Having Good Will. I will you good and not evil.

Responding to Need: If you let me know what you needs are, withing the limits of my value system, I will not run away. I wll be there for you.