Hi Nate, I'm kinda new to the forum so forgive me :p
I once had a soldier above me say that if you aren't an asset, then you are a liability. So my question to you is, are you still an asset to your unit?
Freezing in combat isn't the WORST thing a soldier can do, this action can actually save lives in certain situations(friendly fire?).
IMO if you can save the life if the man next to you, or save the mind of the man next to you by providing friendship, or a morale boost during a very stressful time, then you are as much an asset as the man who can shoot perfectly, or who never fumbles with their rifle.
There were so many times that i wish i had friends who could open up the way YOU just did on this forum, while in a combat zone.
Never be afraid to use your mind.. and please know that no man is perfect, especially when they are put in command, being hesitant to follow orders comes with experience, and that is executing general authority over those who are incompetent.
Never be afraid to second guess your judgment if you know its the right thing, we were all trained to do ONE thing, but unfortunately ONE thing is never the only correct thing.
wow hope that made some sense