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combatgoldfish
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I'm with you on that one. :(
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What Makes You Angry Today?
- Post starter combatgoldfish
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Amen to that.
It almost seems like there should be a list of what to do when you have PTSD that would help. So, here some suggestions, and as always just some ideas and totally mine.
1. Take care of yourself first. You can't even think about helping another when you're not together.
2. Take care of yourself first. Don't drink or take drugs, they really do make it even worse.
3. Take care of yourself first. Get to therapy on a consistant basis and work on your problems everyday.
4. Take care of yourself first. Do some things that you like that bring you some joy, what ever they are.
5. Take care of yourself first. OK, there's an obvious pattern here for a reason. If you don't have yourself together there's no way, and I mean absolutely no way you can manage a relationship properly or have a chance in hell of making it work.
6. When in a relationship; refer to the above. Also, you can't fix someone else. You can love them, support them, help them, but you can't do it for them. If they need therapy, they need to go. It they have other issues, such as bipolar, they need to get and stay on their meds. It's not you job to fix them. A relationship is a partnership, gotta' be that way or it just won't work.
7. When in a relationship; you've gotta' work at it. It's always give and take not give and give or take and take.And above all, talk to each other. And I do mean talk, not yell or scream; no one reacts well to that. If you've got things on your mind or going on tell your partner. You're a team; teams work together to solve problems.
8. Take care of yourself first. If you work on this you've got a better chance at a shot at some normalacy and even a bit of happiness in your life.
Of course, find your own list, make one that best suits you but take care of yourself first; then some of the other things may fall into line.Best of luck.
As Always Just Jar's 2cents.
1. Take care of yourself first. You can't even think about helping another when you're not together.
2. Take care of yourself first. Don't drink or take drugs, they really do make it even worse.
3. Take care of yourself first. Get to therapy on a consistant basis and work on your problems everyday.
4. Take care of yourself first. Do some things that you like that bring you some joy, what ever they are.
5. Take care of yourself first. OK, there's an obvious pattern here for a reason. If you don't have yourself together there's no way, and I mean absolutely no way you can manage a relationship properly or have a chance in hell of making it work.
6. When in a relationship; refer to the above. Also, you can't fix someone else. You can love them, support them, help them, but you can't do it for them. If they need therapy, they need to go. It they have other issues, such as bipolar, they need to get and stay on their meds. It's not you job to fix them. A relationship is a partnership, gotta' be that way or it just won't work.
7. When in a relationship; you've gotta' work at it. It's always give and take not give and give or take and take.And above all, talk to each other. And I do mean talk, not yell or scream; no one reacts well to that. If you've got things on your mind or going on tell your partner. You're a team; teams work together to solve problems.
8. Take care of yourself first. If you work on this you've got a better chance at a shot at some normalacy and even a bit of happiness in your life.
Of course, find your own list, make one that best suits you but take care of yourself first; then some of the other things may fall into line.Best of luck.
As Always Just Jar's 2cents.
Finals were due at midnight... Mine isn't in yet, I thought by bringing his idiot brother here that it might help him dig his head out if his ass and maybe think of someone but himself WRONG!!! Broke my non med stint and had to take something before I blow a gasket. The things going through my head right now are not cool, and I just want to disappear right now and say screw it all, graduate school is no joke I can turn them in tommorow but if they aren't done I'm going to fail. I can't concentrate and I hate myself right now.
This is the low down. And I am talking from experience here.
You the person with PTSD can't keep a relationship together, it's just not possible. Juggling the beast and trying to live life is hard enough.
All I can say is that if they are going to leave you, then let them leave, don't force them out. But first of all make sure they are informed as to what PTSD is. There is nothing worse than relationships breaking up only to have the other party find out what it is you are going through and realising they could of helped.
Marriage vows are not sacred when it comes to PTSD. You are not the person they met, and the same goes for any type of relationship. It's sad but true.
On the other side of the coin, sometimes it take's the other partner leaving to trigger the person with PTSD actually getting quality help, whether it be getting off the booze, the illicit drugs and going to proper therapy. Some veterans with PTSD feel so sorry for themselves and use PTSD as a reason to drink and smoke drugs, and even do harder drugs. I did. But in the long run, after all that money is spent, your problems are still there.
Medication for PTSD takes a while to work. And sometimes you might not find the right medication either, but don't give up. Same goes for finding a therapist. Don't know why I through this in here.
Now back to relationships. If they leave, or ask you to leave, then let it happen. Then it's time to fix yourself up, especially if there are children involved. The children don't have a choice here. You owe it to them to make yourself as right as you can be.
Anyway. All of you have a Merry Christmas, well as merry as you can. It's not the end of the world.
We are here for you.
Jimmy
You the person with PTSD can't keep a relationship together, it's just not possible. Juggling the beast and trying to live life is hard enough.
All I can say is that if they are going to leave you, then let them leave, don't force them out. But first of all make sure they are informed as to what PTSD is. There is nothing worse than relationships breaking up only to have the other party find out what it is you are going through and realising they could of helped.
Marriage vows are not sacred when it comes to PTSD. You are not the person they met, and the same goes for any type of relationship. It's sad but true.
On the other side of the coin, sometimes it take's the other partner leaving to trigger the person with PTSD actually getting quality help, whether it be getting off the booze, the illicit drugs and going to proper therapy. Some veterans with PTSD feel so sorry for themselves and use PTSD as a reason to drink and smoke drugs, and even do harder drugs. I did. But in the long run, after all that money is spent, your problems are still there.
Medication for PTSD takes a while to work. And sometimes you might not find the right medication either, but don't give up. Same goes for finding a therapist. Don't know why I through this in here.
Now back to relationships. If they leave, or ask you to leave, then let it happen. Then it's time to fix yourself up, especially if there are children involved. The children don't have a choice here. You owe it to them to make yourself as right as you can be.
Anyway. All of you have a Merry Christmas, well as merry as you can. It's not the end of the world.
We are here for you.
Jimmy
I think it's part of Murphy's Law that everything will go wrong a the worse possible time. You can only do one thing at a time. You're on a tight timeline with your finals, do what you have to to get that done. You don't want to have to do that again. All the other stuff will still be there. Once that's taken care of you can concentrate on the other problems.
As I often say; take care of yourself first. This isn't an arrogant or selfish idea. You've got to have your own head screwed on right to make the kind of decisions that you're faced with; husband, family, kids. Just take it one step at a time. Sometimes PTSD is like juggling. You keep tossing another ball in the air and then are trying to keep them all up there; you can't, eventually they start falling or all fall at once. Think, singleness of purpose. Hang in there.
As I often say; take care of yourself first. This isn't an arrogant or selfish idea. You've got to have your own head screwed on right to make the kind of decisions that you're faced with; husband, family, kids. Just take it one step at a time. Sometimes PTSD is like juggling. You keep tossing another ball in the air and then are trying to keep them all up there; you can't, eventually they start falling or all fall at once. Think, singleness of purpose. Hang in there.
No truer words said Jar. Murphy is always around. Maybe we should call it Murphy's Syndrome, sounds better that PTSD.
@tnkgirl,
Jar is right on the money. In six months time you might have a marriage still, but you might not. But the one thing you CAN have control of is whether you have passed your finals. You don't want to have to sit them again.
@tnkgirl,
Jar is right on the money. In six months time you might have a marriage still, but you might not. But the one thing you CAN have control of is whether you have passed your finals. You don't want to have to sit them again.
Here I go again getting all mushy again, you guys are so amazing! the messed up thing here is that I had PTSD when I met him and he's got it too. We have the beast in both of us. I told him tonight that while yes I'm the go to girl to fix things for others, it doesn't mean that I can't fall down....I need someone not to fix things for me but to just be there and let me vent, just because I'm venting doesn't mean I'm mad at you, I'm just mad in general, I just need to get it out. I hope that makes since, I'm foggy today....it's been stupid stressful. Going to pound the keyboard and knock these finals out. Thanks for being there for me guys, at least there's someone here who gets it!
Tim Cake
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