Relationship What To Do During An Isolation?

[Rosa416]

As in, do you just leave them alone if requested? I find this such a difficult thing to do, so hard to maintain. Just waiting for a message or a call takes it out of me some days. Today I had the day off work, and I really wanted to get stuck into my writing project, but I spent the afternoon obsessing over how he is, why he's asking for a few days of no communication, what he actually does when he's isolating...

I was thinking of sending a text in the morning. Something like, "no need to respond to this, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending hugs." Because I know he struggles to ask for help, but at the same time don't want to pressure him to talk when he's feeling like this. Is this a good idea, or do sufferers genuinely need ZERO communication when isolating?

Gahh. Any input massively appreciated :)

 

[Friday]

or do sufferers genuinely need ZERO communication when isolating?

It very much depends on the sufferer.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I leave him alone if he requests space. If he needs space enough to ask for it, then it's important for me to respect his boundaries.

I consider it a loving act. It's something I can do to help him... To understand his need for space and be ok with it.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Curious but how do you respect their space while respecting your health and sanity? More often than not you will end up being burned.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Because my health and sanity is not dependent on other people. If somebody asks me to leave them alone, I am OK enough with myself to leave them be.

That "needing" people thing is a fairy tale. It sounds romantic, but if somebody obsessively needs somebody else to function it is not healthy, it is codependent.

Loving somebody and wanting to be with them all the time is one thing. Needing to constantly be around them to keep your sanity is another.

If my vet would suddenly bail on me now, I'd be devestated. I'd grieve the relationship and miss him, but I wouldn't lose my sanity. I wouldn't consider myself burned. It was a relationship that I would always treasure... but it wasn't my first, and if it ends hopefully it won't be my last. Life is a series of relationships and phases. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. In 10 more years I hope I grow and change more.

In my opinion, it is infinitely more romantic to stay with somebody because you want them, rather than because you need them.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

For me what has and does drive me crazy is closeness goes from 100 to 0 in a matter of seconds. And all the great moments shared seem like a dream

 

[EveHarrington]

I think we are all different------from each other, and within ourselves in interactions from person to person.

I want some people to leave me alone.

I'm ok with some people contacting me.

The best thing to do is ask him.

:hug:

 

[WaveRunner]

Because my health and sanity is not dependent on other people. If somebody asks me to leave them alo...

This is *EXACTLY* what I feel! You put this into words so beautifully!!! Wow...VERY well-articulated!