What's On Your Top Ten List ?

[Deleted member 20280]

After I was diagnosed with PTSD I was having major issues with feeling peace in myself.

A good friend and I were having a smoke break at work one day when he disclosed to me that he is a manic depressive. Outwardly no one would have been able to tell.

We went for lunch and confided in each other our illnesses and it was such a relief to actually speak openly with another person who totally understood.

So we continued this conversation in the TV lounge and he asked me if I had written my 'Top Ten'. I didn't have a clue what he was referring to!

Well. Basically your top ten is a handwritten slip of paper listing literally that, a top ten list. This list includes; favourite film genre, favourite music genre, favourite place to sit out in the sun, favourite fizzy drink, favourite sweets from childhood etc etc.

The type of things on you personal Top Ten list can be anything at all, the list is endless.

I keep my list in my wallet still even though I have memorised it.

Using your list is simple. When I feel down about life I bring my list to life, for example: if I am out and start feeling anxious I will put my music player on on my phone whilst I walk to the shop and buy myself a litre bottle of limeade fizzy and a packet of strawberry BonBons and a single decent Cigar. (the guy in the corner shop always laughs as he knows me now and I always buy these favourites from him - he has the cigar already on the counter when I get to it clutching my sweet and fizzy :-)

I walk to the local park and sit in my favourite spot listening to my music and consume my sweets and drink. I finish this off by smoking my cigar all the while just watching the world carry on around me regardless.

So do I find this therapeutic ? Most definatelly because when I am alone with my chosen favourites I have done just that, chosen to enjoy life myself regardless of situatuin or circumstances.

 

[Meadowsweet]

This is a good idea, I'm going to write my top ten.

What I find at times is that after a depressed stage, I will buy myself some flowers and put on my comfy pj's and snuggle down on the settee. But it is only after I've started feeling better that i can give myself comfort. When I am in the depths, I don't want to treat myself nice, I feel like I should be treated cruelly. So it would take discipline before the habit formed, but I think it's worth it.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Another one for me, again a culmination of several is to cook one of my favourite meals (I love to eat so there are several all together under one of my top ten). Have a glass of my favourite cider or wine and watch a film from you tube of my favourite genre.

All done on my own.

@Meadowsweet at the beginning I struggled profusely with the whole concept but over time, maybe few months even, I started to understand how powerful a therapy this simple thing could be.

It is only recently I have fully understood it.

Now, I go with the flow when I am down and treat myself to 'Me Time'

I hope this in time will work for you as well as it has for me :-)

 

[zeckster81]

After I was diagnosed with PTSD I was having major issues with feeling peace in myself.

A good friend and I were having a smoke break at work one day when he disclosed to me that he is a manic depressive. Outwardly no one would have been able to tell.

We went for lunch and confided in each other our illnesses and it was such a relief to actually speak openly with another person who totally understood.

So we continued this conversation in the TV lounge and he asked me if I had written my 'Top Ten'. I didn't have a clue what he was referring to!

Well. Basically your top ten is a handwritten slip of paper listing literally that, a top ten list. This list includes; favourite film genre, favourite music genre, favourite place to sit out in the sun, favourite fizzy drink, favourite sweets from childhood etc etc.

The type of things on you personal Top Ten list can be anything at all, the list is endless.

I keep my list in my wallet still even though I have memorised it.

Using your list is simple. When I feel down about life I bring my list to life, for example: if I am out and start feeling anxious I will put my music player on on my phone whilst I walk to the shop and buy myself a litre bottle of limeade fizzy and a packet of strawberry BonBons and a single decent Cigar. (the guy in the corner shop always laughs as he knows me now and I always buy these favourites from him - he has the cigar already on the counter when I get to it clutching my sweet and fizzy :)

I walk to the local park and sit in my favourite spot listening to my music and consume my sweets and drink. I finish this off by smoking my cigar all the while just watching the world carry on around me regardless.

So do I find this therapeutic ? Most definatelly because when I am alone with my chosen favourites I have done just that, chosen to enjoy life myself regardless of situatuin or circumstances.

Wow, THank you for sharing this. I plan on sitting down and doing this as well!!! I think some things that will make the list are:

1. Swinging on a swing set. I'm 35 years old and still love it.
2. People watching under a shade tree.
3. Walking a dog: Don't have one but know many that do.
4. Thrift/yard sale shopping.
5. Laying around and watching Golden Girls with my mom. :) LOL
6. Spending time with my three cats.
7. Ballroom/Latin Dancing
8. Eating a freeze pop.
9. Hiking on a shady trail
10. Organizing and playing a game of 4 square with a group of kids.

 

[Lionheart]

I haven't given this much thought yet but I believe somethings that will make the list are:

Listening to music
Taking a hot bath or shower
Watching a good horror movie or suspense thriller
Going to the park and feeding the ducks
Taking pictures at the cemetery
Ordering a pizza
Having a good cup of hazelnut coffee
Making love *(when I have a partner)
Drinking a Mt Dew or Grape Soda
Calling up a good friend on the phone

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I love this thread, thank you. My top ten are,

Doing little kindnesses for me.
Actually learning how to meet my own needs.
Being more assertive and honest.
Swing on the couch swing outside and watching the girls play.
Cuddling.
Going out with a good friend.
Doing family fun time together.
Feeling my good feelings and refusing to stop nurturing the budding joy in my life.
Feeling the grass under my bare feet.
Paying my bills without anxiety now. I am so happy to keep caught up.

 

[Fadeaway]

This is such a great idea. There was a time, I didn't have my own identity. I was who everyone told me to be, I liked was I was told or expected to like. I could not have come up with this sort of list because I had never been given the chance to find out.

Unfortunately/fortunately, this became an assignment in an English class. I couldn't complete it, but I became determined to figure these things out. During my several years of total isolation, I got a chance to find out who I was and figure these things out. I think I lost sight of these things after my incident last July. So I needed this reminder.

 

[Ti Vu]

A very cool idea. :)

I guess...
1.) Going on walks. It feels nice to connect with my surroundings.
2.) Skating around. Same reason as above. And it's something I've loved doing since I was 11/12.
3.) Hanging out with my mom and/or aunt. Or just family and friends in general.
4.) Going to my local park. Hanging out by the little stream. I find it soothing.
5.) Watching Zero: New Blood or Mystery: Black and White. Cool skate videos from 2006. Relates to #2. Haha.
6.) Going to shows/concerts. Always a fun time singing, dancing, getting sweaty with friends.
7.) Looking at random movie trivia on IMDb.
8.) Seeing people smile, laugh, out and about having a good time. Sounds weird. But seeing their joy brings me joy.
9.) Buying a band t-shirt or two.
10.) Watch Sherlock, Frasier, The Simpsons, or anything on The History Channel.

Just writing this stuff down made me happy. :)

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks for sharing this @Santa_Laurie :D :hug:s

Wow, your top ten is cool. My top ten are:

1. Oh i always go for long walks (but sometimes I am stuck in room locked and depressed but other times I have to force myself from getting out of that mode),
2. Getting some physical exercise
3. talking to someone
4. going to the beach - observing the ocean waves, looking at the sky and feeling the breeze,, just the best feeling ever!!!
5. having something sweet (i.e. bakery)
6. or going to the garden
7. playing with neighborhood cats (i know sounds weird)
8. going to the library
9. Sometimes a little cry does the wonders + writing + venting helps me a lot!!!
10. A cold shower (for 1-2 min head wash)

the list can go on and on...

 

[Deleted member 20280]

As I love food and music I have numerous things under several of these and if I listed them all seperataly my ten favourite things would actually be my top 37.

I have no idea if this is a proper therapy but from your responses I feel it should be.

Finally being at relative peace with my PTSD and the severity of trauma that led to my breakdown, this simplest form of self indulgences has made me realise that although I am the kind of guy who wants to give to and be there for others, I can make time for me and I actually enjoy my own company now.

 

[shell]

@Santa_Laurie - love this thread I laughed when I read your top 10, what a great idea.

Mine are in no particular order.
1..Hot Bath
2. Walking the Dog
3. Sitting on the balcony in the sun
4. Relaxing in the sun with a glass of wine
5. Cheesecake
6. Sitting on the beach
7. Bush walking
8. Music
9. Reading
10. Having lunch at a restaurant with my husband

Next time I am not coping I will indulge myself, rather than resorting to isolation.

 

[ms spock]

This is a great thread.

1."Honesty" can be subjective, and to be truly honest with ourselves we have to find the balance. When I am down I need to look for balance.

2. Remember to keep in mind, many times I did the best I could at that point in time and that is all anyone can do. The person I am now, I wasn't then so I can't hold myself responsible for the choices I would make now at that point in time. Those options weren't available.

3. I won't die if I feel the feelings of the Complex Trauma. I will make it through. I can stop avoiding that now as I am safe. If I keep avoiding them I am robbing myself of being with them, getting to the other side and living an actual life, rather than practicing many sophisticated levels of avoidance, dissociation, derealisation and depersonalisation.

4. I do not have to give myself away and fawn over people, to belong.

5. Life is as a journey and there are so many good things when I stop to look at them. People I've met, things I've seen, disco I have danced and even things that I have done. Conversely, there are so many things I would do differently if I could do it over, but that is just being human. It is okay to be human.

6. When things go terribly wrong and Complex Trauma is born out of intergenerational child abuse, there is regret. I can be kind to that regret. I can feel what I feel. I will not die.

7. Compulsively lying and telling everyone that I am okay and that I am willing to do things for them was a survival strategy as a child which is not helpful as an adult. I don't have to lie to stop myself from being injured that is my broken brain lying to itself.

8. I can make a choice every day on how I wish to spend the day. I can choose who I look after and who I leave to take responsibility for their own life. I am not at home with my parents where my ability to please my dysfunctional parents meant my own safety and life and etc.

9. So now I have to deal with not only, with those horrendous continuous trauma experiences, but also with the fact I have been so dissociated and constantly getting retraumatised so much so I have missed about 30 years of being not really there, not in the world, not feeling real and that is a lot of time to lose, on top of the very lucky to make it out alive childhood. And today I completely forgive myself total forgiveness for the mistakes that I made and the fear that I gave in to.

10. I am not so bad after all. I am not a brilliant person or anything. I am, however, a solid okay person in many ways, and that is good enough. I don't have to pay and pay trying to be an amazing person to make up for all the deficits and to prove I didn't deserve the child abuse. No one deserves child abuse, no amount of being good would have stopped the torture that was my life. So I can just be an okay person who doesn't have to do extraordinary things to prove that she is okay enough to be alive. This is a very good understanding that I have come from.