When Is It A Good Idea To Pull Back At Work?

[Suzetig]

It sounds like you're moving towards a decision but aren't sure yet what you want or how to make it work. Is it an all or nothing thing? What I mean by that is could you do a bit less work and still survive, or pace the work to give you space to keep yourself well?

Before I changed my job, I really pulled back on my hours - I literally didn't work full time for about 18 months, I negotiated some flexibility around working and worked from home if I was feeling a bit off. I still do some of that with new employer. I don't know what the equivalent would look like for you?

I also was meticulous about self care - I would schedule my day, make sure I journalled, got fresh air, whatever because I knew it helped keep me well regardless of whether I actually felt well or not.

I feel for you, I know the dilemma you're facing and there's no easy way through.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

It's all or nothing until June.

After that, I could pull back some. Work fewer contracts. But with pulling back means less income, which means that everything will get harder. I don't really have a savings account. I need the money. And, it isn't a case of just spending less - I'm already wearing thrift store clothing, cutting my own hair, etc. I don't know how to cut my budget back more.

I'm trying to be meticulous about self care. It is just hard because I am too busy for anything at all to go wrong and there is just very little time left for me and self care at the end of the day.

 

[VioletButterfly]

First - :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: , if accepted. I'm so very sorry for what you are going through.

I am on my own as well and have been living hand-to-mouth since 2009 when I was laid off. I can relate to your reticence in leaving your position in regard to income and insurance. Money seems to make the world go 'round and when you don't have then it seems the bus hits the brick wall. It brings on a lot of fear when there seems to be no net to catch us.

From what you've written, it seems that you do want to make a change in June and are just trying to make it through until that time, but are also afraid of the financial/insurance implications of working part-time. If so, it's time to mentally strategize as best you can.

If you have an employee/union handbook, look at it to see if you will qualify for insurance. Next step, consider looking at other pools for insurance - professional organizations you might belong to or can join, COBRA from employer/union (not sure if this can apply when you cut back to PT hrs (check HIPAA regulations)??

Worst case scenario - keep an eye on the ACA mandate situation and requirements attendant to that. You can check eligibility online and not deal with the call center - I highly recommend this route. If insurance won't be available to you with PT hours, work with your T to seek out alternatives that might include transitioning to another T who works with a sliding scale. You'll need time with your current T to help you with this transition, especially if you've been working with him/her a long time. Also, get all of your medical up to speed - any MD appts, labs, diagnostics, Rx that you might need for months past June? Pick-up the Rx 90 refills just before your insurance expires. I did this and it has been helpful.

Also, take time to build up self-resources such as self-care and compassion. Get that regimen set if you don't already have it in place. Also, figure out what stabilizes and/or you - nature, mindfulness, spiritual pursuits, creative activities, music/art, writing, walking/yoga?

The other issue - income. What about a part-time job doing what you like and that you find "fun" to pair up with your part-time day job? You'd still have income, though just not as much and it would be less stressful. I've been working on this. Will probably get the part-time before the day job, but it's a start. Also, know that some employers offer benefits to part-time employees working 20-25 hrs. Starbucks is one that offers insurance and tuition costs. I believe Whole Foods, Home Depot, Target, and a few others do as well. Google that.

Perhaps, a SWOT analysis on your life might help you to prioritize and comfort yourself. Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Get into Excel and just belt this out. I did it and it's amazing how many opportunities you'll add over the course of a week and also how many strengths you have that you may not automatically think of.

All this to say, in preparing for what you see as inevitable, you are identifying and shoring up your resources, and reassuring yourself that you're not going to be falling into the abyss. You're just taking another path at this point, one that you feel is needed. It's not an all-or-nothing proposition for you, but a side-step. Just do some thinking through and planning. You might be surprised at what you determine after an analysis of your situation.

Praying for you. VB

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I do want out, but part of me wants in. This is where it gets confusing, because we aren't all on board with one another (meaning me and my parts). It's hard to make a move one direction or another when parts sabotage my efforts (in either direction - my work part continues to take contracts, while other oarts freak out and panic like I'm doing here).

I've crunched the financial nun era enough to know that taking a job in the service industry wouldn't help enough to justify the stress. Being directly supervised is harder for me than the high stress job I'm currently in. And my finances won't hold long without my current position.

I feel stuck and I'm having so much trouble understanding how to make a decision.

 

[VioletButterfly]

You got me there. Sorry about the book I put up above. Think I might have been talking to myself as well as I seem to be a bit stuck right now between taking any job vs. taking a job doing what I used to do where I made a living wage. Fear looms large either way.

My fear is putting up quite a shouting match with my realistic mind that tells me that I HAVE to have income and benefits. Fear and my wise mind have many showdowns. I've been trying to broker a peace on different issues for quite some time. Can you do that with your parts? Have a group discussion of what the priorities are and the pros/cons of each in what you see as a two-sided argument (PT/FT)? I've tried that and it has helped to diffuse the stand-off and bring some understanding to each side. Sometimes, I just have to back off and color instead of applying for jobs. But, sometimes, I have to put up the coloring book and get out on Indeed and actually submit a job application.

I feel your frustration here. I prayed about it and have come to the conclusion that I need to cast a wide net and see what I catch - at least make an effort on my own behalf. I don't know how that would play out on your stage. Maybe gather all of the information you can and take it one day at a time? It seems some part of you wants a decision and a plan though, if I'm reading you right.

Is it possible to break down the larger decision into smaller decisions/actions that you could take which might help you in taking a larger action? Sorry if this is a reiteration of the pro/con exercise, it just seems to be different to me.

There is a saying in the rooms in terms of doing the next right thing. What do you think that would mean for you in your situation? Best - VB

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

My brain is hurting again this week and I haven't been able to think right or keep track of things. I want out. How do I get out? How do I make this work? How do I keep seeing my therapist if everything falls apart beneath me and I have no income? How do I not end up homeless?

I can't do this anymore.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Are you discussing these two concerns with your therapist?

 

[eloc]

I have not worked for four years - two years I had insurance income support and care for my PTSD - two years I have been on my own - 6 months of that I seperated from my husband to seek diasability and medicare support in Australia- it was so disturbing to be in the beurocratic uncaring system that I gave up on it and returned and spent the last of my savings on helping my brother in law finish his house. I now live there in a seperate portion and have made my life so simple pick and drop the kids at school , swim and thats about it - my expenses are food and bills , swimming pool membership and I dabble with develop teaching and learning materials for my kids related to their second language that I am also learning - to keep my mind active. I have friends offer me consultancy work but while I have my husbands support I am continuing to withdraw- I am thinking about bartering one day a week work with my childrens school in exchange for their school fees.This would be a trial of how I can fit back in anywhere and would mostly be doing what I am already doing on developing teaching and learning materials but sometimes in consultation with a teacheror teachers. I worked in a large NGO with annual budget that varied between 5 and 70 million dollarsper annum - the work made me sick and I would be a fool to go back into that work or style of working again. Good luck with finding your way - simplifying what you want/need out of life makes cutting down on income a possibility. - I don't have therapy now but I have hypnosis and EMDR on Mp3 and I swim and also I think learning a language that is right left oriented is like EMDR when you work in English and Urdu in the same document your brain is shifting left right riht left like in EMDR and swimming is also bilateral for freestyle and backstroke - cheaper therapy is not necescearily worse therapy.

I actually had to quit and luckily I spoke to the HR staff in the rgion and they supported me to get diagnosed and claim a workers comp - deal from their insurance - the company pays insurance to cover their asses but also to care for staff injured in their work. The first two years the insurance was helpful - now trying to settle they are obstructive aholes