When Someone On The Board Goes Missing

[shimmerz]

I have a friend on the board here. She and I used to talk just about every day (PM'ing). And then she disappeared. She hasn't logged on since the end of August. And I have no way of knowing whether she is alright or not. And I feel like she might not be.

Have any of you have lost touch suddenly with people on the board here?

 

[anonymous]

Yes I have. It wasn't good I'm afraid. I heard from someone else later that they had died, but I have no proof either way. I'm sorry.

 

[TXbandit]

I often wonder the same thing when that happens. I worry about them. There is not much I have been able to do except contact them through Facebook or Skype if I have that info.

I hope your friend is OK and hopefully only taking a break from the forum.

 

[shimmerz]

I heard from someone else later that they had died,

Jesus.....

 

[digger]

Yep. And it's hard not to jump to the worst, but I do try and hold onto hoping that the reasons are more positive ones.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

I have a friend on the board here. She and I used to talk just about every day (PM'ing). And then she...

I am too new here to have it happen but I can imagine and I'm .... I recognize your pain and I empathize...

 

[jaccat]

It hasn't happened to me, but I have noticed it happen. I think I might know who you're talking about. Someone who posted fairly regularly, was a recognised presence on here when I first joined, just disappeared a while back. I've wondered about her. We just have to hope everything's alright I guess.

 

[Powder]

Sometimes I just can't face this forum, or I feel too overwhelmed by life to use the little emotional energy I have left to engage with it. I hope that she's on a needed break only.

Before I knew about PTSD, I noticed that my traumatized sibling would contact me often, and then disappear for long periods. This trend grew more extreme over time, and I also began to notice that to a lesser degree, I do this, too, in comparison to non-traumatized people who seem strangely consistent unless seriously ill or on vacation, both of which they will tell you about first. You're not left wondering for long with them, as they post something or tell someone.

I agree, Shimmerz. I wish there were a way to just know they are okay, like if the Moderators could do outreach to email or something just to check for a pulse.

 

[hodge]

I worry about this, too. I hope your friend is just taking a break, though it would be good to know if that's the case. Yes, Muse, like a welfare check. That would be nice.

 

[scout86]

Yes, I've had it happen. And I had no other way to get a hold of her. Eventually, she checked back in, got my message and replied. She was ok. But, she has rough patches and I was pretty worried. She said she just needed a break and wasn't checking in here much. She hasn't posted in a long time, but I'm sticking with the idea that she was working things through and making progress when last we "spoke" so I hope she still is.

It would be great if there was some way of keeping track of people! There are a few people who passed through here that I wonder about a lot. @Pencil and @Abstract , for example.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Overwhelm, but ok. If this was me. Sorry to worry anyone.

Actually not doing well at all, but ok.

 

[ms spock]

Look I have been on both sides of the fence on that one - one friend disappeared for a very long time - but I knew she was moving, resettling, looking after all her kids, managing everything in her life - so I trusted she was okay and she came back, and it is just like that before.

I also disappeared because I shut down, and once in 2013 because I was in a bad way.

I don't think you can expect the moderators to do more work and do outreach, there is so much to running a site like this, that taking on more and more will only mean that it gets too unwieldly and too full on. People moderate as a service to our community - I think it is more appropriate to be grateful for what we have, rather than having ideas about asking for more from people, that is not sustainable.

I have a couple of emails of people offsite but mostly I contact everyone through the site. I trust that people will come back, mostly they do, though there is one I do worry about but she hasn't been here for the longest time. People come and go, just like in real life.